intertwining

portal (another reminder)

talk to your mind so

so sweetly, like you

talk to a baby

& perhaps here

in this tenderness

there is freedom

turn around

look at yourself

really look

there you are

there you are

rooted

note to self [01-19-23]

this is your life.

enjoy it.

enjoy thoroughly what is here.

you are not a victim.

you are the creator.

you make decisions.

own them.

honey in my hair

honey in my hair

matted and tangled

sticky and pubic

oh what a snarled web

we’ve woven!

the queen bee

she whispers to me

some things I can’t tell you

but this I reveal:

we have the power

to heal ourselves

through orgasm

honey in my hair

they told me to be

weak and submissive...

rain haiku [575]

moist pitter patter

frigid darkness, Milky Way

sleep sound in the womb

Mother Grief

Been on a journey

Through & through cycles,

Cycles — each time

Becoming

More confident

Leaping into unknown

Ishvara pranidhana!

Been on a journey

Everything played out

Perfectly, disastrously

All divinely orchestrated

All from the heart

nothingness: a reminder to self

how to overcome doubt on the path? remind: this is the only option. this tender, fierce, messy, arousing, limitless artmaking. this perpetual longing. this flirtation with God.

remind: honey, you are absolutely nothing and that is the most beautiful thing. keep going. keep not going. listen listen listen to the silence. let the creative impulse undulate within the heart-mind. rise and fal...

it was only a dream

words from may 2020

my sleepy eyes open

i make a cup of coffee

and read with elias

i drive to the beach

say mantras by the ocean

i breathe

am nervous i’ll get into trouble for going into the ocean

i breathe

do it anyway

submerge myself in dark brine

the womb the womb

home

again!

feel a rush of adrenaline

i breathe <...

sleep no more

the sharp edge of life

like an ice pick,

this razor-edged clarity

vibrant colors pulsating, undulating

with opened eyes wide so wide

i gasp, tremble, weep, rejoice

rouse in the dance of the serpent

all surrender to Her raw magnificence

but stay sedated, you stay

i understand—know the pain well

some days i’m lulled into anesth...

musings on nude portraiture

nude portraiture (which sees the body as an art-form, and strips it of habitual societal hypersexualization) has been key in reconnecting with the sacred essence of my body. the body: our abode for this life. celebrating and bowing to this complex vessel in all its forms. in all it’s bliss and grief and messiness and paradoxical perfection.

this art form has been and continues to be on...

🌩️

suspended in time

a trillion blades of grass

dusted in amber light

that i am

✨

friend, listen: this love doesn't come or go.

one sip from the cup of that sweetness, the world starts to spin.

now I'm a drunk for life. unsoberable.

tell them it's useless to try.

—mirabai

welcome January full moon

in wonderland

death on my mind

death on my mind

oh oh fear!

opening to the fear

reveals that it’s

excitement in disguise

as a great teacher said:

“altogether we are happy to die.

we take our joy along with us.

it is unusually romantic to die”

and so i slip into dream state

each night and each night

i die … la...

All you have to do is ask

Been working

Going going going

Head bowed,

kidneys clenched

Quick—earth is burning

Burdens on shoulders

Be martyr—repent repent repent

And then—stop.

Fatigue

I need

I need

I need

Well, to be gentle

with me

Realize: really need tenderness,

Reali...

a reminder to myself for the new year

before you speak, ask yourself:

i) is it kind?

ii) is it necessary?

iii) is it true?

iv) does it improve the silence?