Monthly Bonus Content #3—Spring Scenario Special (Primrose - 'I can't live without you') - Nate

(I'm not sure why this ended up being from N's point of view, but it just came out as I started writing! Much in the same way N's overprotectiveness just came out too... ;D)
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At the Park. During a Mid-Morning Walk…

Nate stoops down to the carpet of creamy yellow, listening to the buzz of bees as they dart from one primrose plant to another. A wash of Spring sunshine has the flowers swelling in the grass, as though proud to be strong enough to be out so soon after winter’s harsh grip.

“Aren’t the primroses—”

“Very good at acting like a distraction against discussing the real issue?” [Name] cuts in, folding their arms, knowing exactly what Nate’s hopeful plan was.

He stands with a sigh. “It’s a difficult topic.”

“It wouldn’t be if you were talking about it with any other member of Unit Bravo,” they retort.

“But I’m not madly in love with any of them,” he replies, smoothing his hand down their arm to take their hand. They don’t resist the touch, which hopefully means they’re not too annoyed.

They even draw their joined hands up to clutch them to their chest. “Which means you should trust my instincts even more.”

“It’s not your instincts I don’t trust, ya rouhi. It’s everyone and everything vying for your blood.” He swallows thickly, the lump that had formed in his throat since [Name] had told him of the mission still raw and painful. “You’ll be alone on this mission. Away from Wayhaven.” He steps in closer. “Away from me.”

“That’s not exactly a prospect I’m looking forward to either.” They smile, and it lifts every part of Nate, as though the mere expression is enough to unlock a flood of calm throughout him. “Being away from you…it’s like leaving a part of my heart behind.”

Nate has heard versions of this statement many times before. From lovers who he wanted to give his heart to as much as they had given theirs’ to him.

But [Name] is the only one who has ever captured his heart fully and completely.

And it scares the shit out of him.

His hands tremble slightly, so he draws them out of [Name]’s grasp and wraps his arms around them instead to hide the sign of fear. “What if something happens to you?”

“What if it doesn’t?” They shrug. “I’m part of the Agency now. This is my job. I want to do everything I can to help protect people. I thought of all of Unit Bravo, you would understand that the most.”

“I do understand.” I just can’t let you go. The invasive thought catches Nate, but he manages to bite it back before it spills from him.

“Then stop fighting me on this,” they plead, grasping at his shirt. “I’m going whether you want me to or not. But I don’t want to leave after arguing with you. You need to trust that I can do this. Why are you so against it?”

“Because…” The confession lingers on his tongue, bitter and yet sweet. “If something happens to you, I…” His words trip and stumble again. He groans. Being tongue-tied is a new experience and not one he’s cherishing.

[Name] reaches out, brushing their fingers through his hair. His eyes fall closed at the soft touch, a wave of safety calming the barrage of anxiety strangling his voice.

“It’s ok, Nate. You can tell me,” they encourage, as though already aware of what it is Nate’s going to say.

He draws in a breath and brings [Name] tighter into the embrace. “You’re going to be amazing on this mission.”

Disappointment clogs the air between them, but both of them hang onto their smiles beneath the weight of it.

“Thanks, Nate,” they reply, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

They draw away, though [Name] takes Nate’s hand again, both walking on through the park and enjoying the soft sunshine.

As they walk, Nate’s focus keeps sliding to [Name]. And the unspoken confession echoes inside his mind, haunting him with its truth.

Because if I lose you, I will lose myself. I cannot live without you, [Name].

He tightens his grip on their joined hands and tries to ignore the unsteady slog of his heartbeat—though he already knows it will barely beat until [Name] returns back to him.