Episode 163: A STORM OF SWORDS, TYRION II: "Spiderwebs" SHOW NOTES!

Hello and welcome to the Not A Cast … podcast: the one true chapter-by-chapter podcast going through A Song of Ice and Fire one chapter a week. I’m one of your hosts Jeff better known as BryndenBFish.

And I’m your other host Emmett, better known as PoorQuentyn.

Welcome to the one hundred and sixty-first episode of the Not A Cast, titled: “Spiderwebs: An Analysis of ASOS, Tyrion II,” in which Tyrion Lannister really wishes he could quit Shae.

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Spoiler warning: All published books, 5 novels, 3 Dunk and Egg novellas, histories, interviews, TWOW sample chapters, as well as Game of Thrones the TV show. Anything and everything!

Question

Lady Ken of House Motown, goddess of sips and wines, a high lady patron, asks:

Do you guys think that GRRM will ever have a character explicitly make the point that women shouldn't be barred from sitting the Iron Throne simply because of their sex? Just like in any patriarchal society, it seems the Westerosi nobility feels that there is some natural defect in women that causes them to not be capable of ruling the realm in the whole (too emotional, not smart enough, etc.), all the while never barring men from the I.T., simply because they're men, even though examples of the most calamitous leadership came from male monarchs.

So, thank you Lady Ken for the question. If you’d like to ask us questions we’ll answer here on the NotACast pod-cast, you are welcome to become a Sworn Sword or higher level patron over at patreon.com/NotACastASOIAF where you can also get show notes, monthly bonus episodes, merch, access to the NotASlack, minisodes and shout-outs at the start and end of every episode as a small council or high lady/high lord patron.

Yes indeed. Our patreon and our patrons are fantastic people. But enough about patreon (patreon.com/NotACastASOIAF). When we last left Tyrion, he had a lovely chat with his dad in which Father Tywin told Tyrion how proud he was of him. Let’s find out how much everyone else loves Tyrion in this synopsis of ASOS, Tyrion II!

Synopsis

The eunuch was humming tunelessly to himself as he came through the door, dressed in flowing robes of peach-colored silk and smelling of lemons. When he saw Tyrion seated by the hearth, he stopped and grew very still. "My lord Tyrion," came out in a squeak, punctuated by a nervous giggle.

"So you do remember me? I had begun to wonder."

Lannister POV to Lannister POV. Happy family member to even happier family member!

Varys pretends to give a shit about Tyrion’s health, but he’s curious why Tyrion is here in Varys' chambers? As for that, Tyrion came to Varys’ chambers after Tywin summoned him in order to catch him off-guard. The thing is that Tyrion had found extremely little in the chambers. There was only water in the flagon and a bed made of stone in a coffin-sized room. Anyways, is Tyrion mad about Varys abandoning him after the Blackwater?

"It made me think of you as one of my family."

"It was not for want of love, my good lord. I have such a delicate disposition, and your scar is so dreadful to look upon . . . " He gave an exaggerated shudder. "Your poor nose . . . "

Tyrion rubs at his nose, thinking he should have one made of gold. Anyways, Pycelle is getting restored to the Grand Maester position? Indeed, but it’s not Cersei’s fault. It’s Tywin’s. Or the Archmaesters in Oldtown. They insisted that Pycelle get restored. Tyrion thinks that’s foolishness and remarks that Maegor the Cruel executed three Grand Maesters. Yup, and Aegon II fed Grand Maester Gerardys to his dragon. Well, Tyrion doesn’t have a dragon (yet) and thinks that maybe he should have dipped Pycelle in wildfire and set him on fire. Nero much, Tyrion?

"Well, it would have been more in keeping with tradition." The eunuch tittered. "Thankfully, wiser heads prevailed, and the Conclave accepted the fact of Pycelle's dismissal and set about choosing his successor. After giving due consideration to Maester Turquin the cordwainer's son and Maester Erreck the hedge knight's bastard, and thereby demonstrating to their own satisfaction that ability counts for more than birth in their order, the Conclave was on the verge of sending us Maester Gormon, a Tyrell of Highgarden. When I told your lord father, he acted at once."

The Conclave met in Oldtown behind closed doors, Tyrion knew; its deliberations were supposedly a secret. So Varys has little birds in the Citadel too. "I see. So my father decided to nip the rose before it bloomed." He had to chuckle. "Pycelle is a toad. But better a Lannister toad than a Tyrell toad, no?"

Varys comments that Pycelle was a friend of House Lannister. Anyways, Boros Blount is getting restored to the Kingsguard. Well, that’s bad news but not horrible news. Blount hated Tyrion but might hate Cersei as much given that she stripped him of the white cloak. Boros remains a coward though.True, Varys says. But he’ll be loyal -- to Tywin.

That topic complete, Varys turns to a related topic: Mandon Moore. Why is Bronn so interested in him? Tyrion knows that Varys probably knows a lot. But he carefully couches his comments to say that Mandon was friendless. Indeed. Some family in the Vale maybe. But no friends here in King’s Landing. Even Barristan Selmy said he had nothing but duty as a companion, and he didn’t mean that as a compliment. Varys thinks that’s weird given that this is what’s required of a Kingsguard knight. And Mandon had died for the king’s own blood, didn’t he?

Trying to murder one of the king's own blood, you mean. Tyrion wondered if Varys knew rather more than he was saying. Nothing he'd just heard was new to him; Bronn had brought back much the same reports. He needed a link to Cersei, some sign that Ser Mandon had been his sister's catspaw. What we want is not always what we get, he reflected bitterly, which reminded him . . .

"It is not Ser Mandon who brings me here."

Varys asks what Tyrion wants. He wants Shae. Uh, okay. Not smart, Tyrion. Your dad would hang her. Why does Tyrion want her? He wants to see her one last time before he sends her away. Oh okay. Varys understands that rationale.

How could you? Tyrion had seen her only yesterday, climbing the serpentine steps with a pail of water. He had watched as a young knight had offered to carry the heavy pail. The way she had touched his arm and smiled for him had tied Tyrion's guts into knots. They passed within inches of each other, him descending and her climbing, so close that he could smell the clean fresh scent of her hair. "M'lord," she'd said to him, with a little curtsy, and he wanted to reach out and grab her and kiss her right there, but all he could do was nod stiffly and waddle on past.

Tyrion’s seen Shae a few times but hasn’t spoken to her. He knows he’s being watched. Varys confirms this, and Tyrion asks who is watching him. The Kettleblack Bros for one. This infuriates Tyrion given how much money Tyrion’s paid them. Could they be bought back? Uh, maybe. But not likely. Cersei’s got another purse: her vagina.

Seven hells, thought Tyrion. "Are you suggesting that Cersei's fucking Osmund Kettleblack?"

"Oh, dear me, no, that would be dreadfully dangerous, don't you think? No, the queen only hints . . . perhaps on the morrow, or when the wedding's done . . . and then a smile, a whisper, a ribald jest . . . a breast brushing lightly against his sleeve as they pass . . . and yet it seems to serve. But what would a eunuch know of such things?" The tip of his tongue ran across his lower lip like a shy pink animal.

If I could somehow push them beyond sly fondling, arrange for Father to catch them abed together . . . Tyrion fingered the scab on his nose. He did not see how it could be done, but perhaps some plan would come to him later. "Are the Kettleblacks the only ones?"

Tyrion wants Cersei to be caught in bed with Osmund Kettleblack by their dad? Obligatory, but Tyrion is GOOD.

Anyways, the Kettleblacks are not the only ones who don’t like Tyrion. There’s Janos Slynt’s sons and Littlefinger who will inform on Tyrion if he visits a brothel. And who does Tywin have spying on Tyrion? Varys. Everyone laughs, and even though Tyrion knows not to trust Varys, he knows that Varys would inform on Shae to Tywin already if he cared to.

Anyways, Tyrion wants Varys to bring Shae to his chambers. That’s not going to work, because Tyrion’s chambers don’t have tunnels that Varys’ birds can get through.

"Then bring her somewhere else."

"But where? There is no safe place."

"There is." Tyrion grinned. "Here. It's time to put that rock-hard bed of yours to better use, I think."

The eunuch's mouth opened. Then he giggled. "Lollys tires easily these days. She is great with child. I imagine she will be safely asleep by moonrise."

Tyrion hopped down from the chair. "Moonrise, then. See that you lay in some wine. And two clean cups."

Varys bowed. "It shall be as my lord commands."

Tyrion finds the rest of the day dragging. He goes to the library to read some books like a fucking nerd. He reads a book about the Rhoynish Wars but can’t really imagine the elephants, always seeing Shae. Later in the afternoon, he takes a long bath and has Pod trim his white, yellow and black-haired beard. He knows the beard isn’t attractive, but it does cover up some of his face … and I find that very sad.

When Tyrion is clean, he gets on his best Lannister clothes, save for the Hand’s chain which Tywin stole. But then he realizes that he looks very conspicuous in all his nice Lannister crimsons and gets into plainer clothes.

It doesn't matter, he told himself as he waited for moonrise . Whatever you wear, you're still a dwarf. You'll never be as tall as that knight on the steps, him with his long straight legs and hard stomach and wide manly shoulders.

The moon was peeping over the castle wall when he told Podrick Payne that he was going to pay a call on Varys. "Will you be long, my lord?" the boy asked.

"Oh, I hope so."

George and dick jokes: is there a purer narrative combo?

Tyrion knows that he’s not going to be unnoticed. So, he walks about as if he’s totally doing normal person things. He sees Loras Tyrell guarding the drawbridge to Maegor’s Keep. He asks how old Loras is. Seventeen.

Seventeen, and beautiful, and already a legend. Half the girls in the Seven Kingdoms want to bed him, and all the boys want to be him.

Half-true, Tyrion.

Tyrion asks why Loras took the white cloak. Because Aemon took it at seventeen, and Jaime was younger. That is no answer, Tyrion says. Why did Loras take the cloak. You’re guarding the king’s life, giving up lands and titles, marriage and children. Ah, well, Garlan and Willas will carry the flame for House Tyrell. Loras doesn’t have to get married or breed.

"Not necessary, but some find it pleasant. What of love?"

"When the sun has set, no candle can replace it."

"Is that from a song?" Tyrion cocked his head, smiling. "Yes, you are seventeen, I see that now."

Weird how I thought that line was from a later chapter. But man, it’s super early in the narrative.

Loras thinks he’s being mocked. But Tyrion comments that he wasn’t making fun of Loras. He was in love once. He thinks to the song that Tysha used to sing to him and tells Loras good night.

Next, Tyrion comes on a dog fight which he watches for a bit, commenting that when one dog tears out the face of the other dog that the mauled dog looks like Sandor Clegane. Yet another Tyrion is GOOD moment there. He climbs up the steps to Varys’ chamber and opens the unlocked door:

"Varys?" Tyrion slipped inside. "Are you there?" A single candle lit the gloom, spicing the air with the scent of jasmine.

"My lord." A woman sidled into the light; plump, soft, matronly, with a round pink moon of a face and heavy dark curls. Tyrion recoiled. "Is something amiss?" she asked.

Varys, he realized with annoyance. "For one horrid moment I thought you'd brought me Lollys instead of Shae. Where is she?"

"Here, m'lord." She put her hands over his eyes from behind. "Can you guess what I'm wearing?"

"Nothing?"

"Oh, you're so smart," she pouted, snatching her hands away. "How did you know?"

Tyrion replies that he likes Shae in nothing. And Shae likes wearing nothing. That means Tyrion should be fucking her, right? Sure, but not before Varys leaves. Annnnnd he’s gone. Tyrion looks around and sees that Shae is telling the truth just before Shae kisses him and they get down to sex very hard in a sex way. Tyrion climaxes quickly, and Shae calls Tyrion her giant of Lannister. Hope that doesn’t come up again!

Tyrion did not move, except to put his arms around her. It feels so good to hold her, and to be held, he thought. How can something this sweet be a crime worth hanging her for? "Shae," he said, "sweetling, this must be our last time together. The danger is too great. If my lord father should find you . . . "

"I like your scar." She traced it with her finger. "It makes you look very fierce and strong."

He laughed. "Very ugly, you mean."

"M'lord will never be ugly in my eyes." She kissed the scab that covered the ragged stub of his nose.

But that’s not why Tyrion is here. He’s worried about Tywin. Shae’s not. Hm. Anyways, can Shae have her jewels and silks back? Um. Maybe later? Oh and can Shae stop taking care of Lollys too? Uh. No. Shae needs to leave King’s Landing. But she doesn’t want to go. Did I mention that this entire conversation is occurring while Tyrion is still inside Shae?

"I don't want to leave. You promised you'd move me into a manse again after the battle." Her cunt gave him a little squeeze, and he started to stiffen again inside her. "A Lannister always pays his debts, you said."

"Shae, gods be damned, stop that. Listen to me. You have to go away. The city's full of Tyrells just now, and I am closely watched. You don't understand the dangers."

Shae isn’t really listening to Tyrion. Instead, she asks if she can go to the wedding feast. Lollys isn’t coming -- even when Shae reassured her that she wouldn’t get raped but Lollys had been afraid which made her stupid to Shae which … whoa, Shae, you are continuing to have these unsympathetic moments I hadn’t noticed before in these books.

Anyways, Symon reassured Shae that this would be a big-ass event. Wait, how did Shae speak to Symon? Shae had gotten Lady Tanda to hire him of course. He plays for the pregnant Lollys, and it calms the baby. There’s going to be seventy-seven courses of food and pigeons will fly out of the pie when the crust is opened! Those birds will shit on Tyrion. Probably intentionally.

Shae wants to go in her silks and velvets as a lady instead of a servant, but Tyrion knows that everyone will know she’s no lady. Beyond that, Lady Tanda will wonder how Lollys bedmaid had so many jewels. Anyways, if Shae can go to the wedding, she won’t wear small clothes, and when tyrion slips out to use the shitter, she’ll sneak out after him. Or she could give him a blowie.

Tyrion was soon ready again. This time he lasted much longer. When he finished Shae crawled back up him and curled up naked under his arm. "You'll let me come, won't you?"

Wait, is this a sex joke? From George RR Martin. You’re saying Shae hasn’t come yet? Damn, Tyrion is a selfish lover.

Anyways, Tyrion groans that it’s not safe for Shae, and Shae gives Tyrion “I’m fine” treatment.

Gods be good, he thought wearily as he watched the candle burn down and begin to gutter, how could I let this happen again, after Tysha? Am I as great a fool as my father thinks? Gladly would he have given her the promise she wanted, and gladly walked her back to his own bedchamber on his arm to let her dress in the silks and velvets she loved so much. Had the choice been his, she could have sat beside him at Joffrey's wedding feast, and danced with all the bears she liked. But he could not see her hang.

When the candle is burned out, Tyrion detaches from Shae and starts searching Varys’ room for the secret chamber. Finally, Shae points out that the secret steps are under the bed. But the bed is made of solid stone? Yes, but Varys pushes a lever, and it floats up. Varys claimed to Shae it was magical. Yes, the magic of a counterweight spell, Tyrion puts in dryly.

Anyways, now that the sex time is complete, Shae needs to head back before Lollys wakes up and calls for Shae. Tyrion says she should wait for Varys will escort her back. He’s listening to this entire conversation anyways.

"I will," she promised. "You are my lion, aren't you? My giant of Lannister?"

"I am," he said. "And you're-"

"-your whore." She laid a finger to his lips. "I know. I'd be your lady, but I never can. Else you'd take me to the feast. It doesn't matter. I like being a whore for you, Tyrion. Just keep me, my lion, and keep me safe."

"I shall," he promised. Fool, fool, the voice inside him screamed. Why did you say that? You came here to send her away! Instead he kissed her once more.

Tyrion’s walk back is lonely, and he finds Podrick asleep. He tells the boy to go get Bronn as he pours himself some wine. On his third cup. Podrick returns with Bronn who complains about being dragged from Chataya’s. You see, Bronn’s a knight now, and he gets the good brothels instead of the cheap ones. And he’s going threeway with Alayaya and Marei.

Tyrion is annoyed at Bronn having the sex with Alayaya, thinking how he never touched Alayaya even though he wanted to. He’s a goddamn peasant after all. He had apologize to Alayaya by sending her a silver chain and bracelets, but he knows he can’t visit Chataya’s or else Cersei and Tywin would hear of it and hang Alayaya. Anyways onto business.

"There is a singer who calls himself Symon Silver Tongue," Tyrion said wearily, pushing his guilt aside. "He plays for Lady Tanda's daughter sometimes."

"What of him?"

Kill him, he might have said, but the man had done nothing but sing a few songs. And fill Shae's sweet head with visions of doves and dancing bears. "Find him," he said instead. "Find him before someone else does."

And that is ASOS, Tyrion II. Quite a moody chapter for Tyrion and one that reads as yet another road sign signalling TROUBLE for Tyrion. What did you think, ser?

Depth

Remember how in ACOK, Tyrion was playing the game of thrones: giving orders, consolidating his power, celebrating by tumbling Shae into bed? Well, this chapter is the opposite of all that. In ASOS, we step through the looking glass, from Tyrion’s rise to power to his fall, and so none of his usual tricks work anymore. He can’t get the information he wants, he can’t do anything useful with the information he does have, and he can’t even bring himself to send Shae away, the one goal he can accomplish!

A Lannister out of power is a terrible thing … for the Lannister who is out of power. You’re right about how powerful Tyrion felt as Hand of the King back in ACOK, feeling strong and tall wielding power with people having to listen to him. But now that he’s out of power, Tyrion feels small, powerless, impotent. No one takes him seriously. He can’t even master his own will and break up with Shae -- someone who is actually powerless. And his former friends treat him with contempt like Bronn or pretend to care about him -- like Varys.

• Negotiating with Varys
  • The chapter begins with a very rare occurrence: someone getting the drop on Varys. He enters his quarters to find Tyrion waiting for him
  • Don’t know about you, but up until this point, I never even thought about Varys having his own rooms. It makes sense, of course, but he’s just so detached from daily life, nothing but the job--hard to imagine him relaxing after a long day’s work, kicking off his shoes, cracking open a beer
  • Everything’s a performance with Varys, and because he’s a non-POV character (arguably the non-POV character), we never get intimate
  • He likes it that way, and he’s taken aback to find Tyrion waiting for him. We almost never see Varys nervous, but now we do. Kinda satisfying!
  • Feels like Tyrion’s back to his old self, the arch mastermind who manipulated the small council...but that image slowly falls apart
  • Sure, he’s infiltrated Varys’ innermost sanctum, but he hasn’t found any of the secret messages or hidden tunnels you might expect
  • Nor does Varys have treasures hidden away. He lives a spartan life: water instead of wine, a bed that feels made of stone. It defies the stereotype of the corrupt court eunuch with lavish indulgences, which you see in Chinese stories (and histories) as well as those from Europe and America
  • Varys might smell like lemons, he might mince and giggle at council in order to avoid threatening the highborn folks he serves, but he is deadly serious underneath, dedicated to his mission on a monastic level
  • Yeah I think this is a remarkable scene for how spartan Varys is living, and I think you hit it correctly: he is deadly serious underneath of it all.
  • In fact, I’d argue that he’s mummering the image of a court eunuch on the outside; so that people dismiss him.
  • In this, he’s the mirror to Littlefinger: using his image as eunuch to disorient people and throw them off balance.
  • In both Littlefinger and Varys’ cases: the two use their “lowborn” status as the means of showing these nobles that they’re mere servants of their wills, rather than players themselves.
  • But Littlefinger plays at being everyone’s friend as GRRM once said, and this allows him to worm his way into the confidence of the high lords.
  • And Littlefinger has learned skill sets of counting coppers or making dragons appear out of thin air as Tyrion will say in the next Tyrion chapter that makes him increasingly powerful.
  • Meanwhile, Varys learned skill sets on the mummers’ troupe and as a thief in Pentos: jobs that are actively scorned by the highborn.
  • Moreover, they’re not actually lowborn at all. Littlefinger descends from minor nobility and is the current Lord of Harrenhal.
  • Varys, too, may not be some lowborn thief from Pentos. He may, in fact, be a secret descendant of a bastard branch and/or offshoot branch of House Targaryen.
  • Speaking of secret Targaryens, it’s interesting how much Varys contrasts with the POV character of this chapter, right?
  • In that way, he’s the opposite of Tyrion, who spends this chapter grasping at straws, unable to wield power--and unwilling, with regards to Shae
  • The battle and its aftermath permanently changed the dynamic between Tyrion and Varys, who offers a nonapology for abandoning Tyrion
  • Tyrion tosses out one of his classic sarcastic remarks:
    • “It made me think of you as one of my family.”
  • Why should he expect loyalty from Varys, when his own blood seizes every opportunity to humiliate and isolate him?
  • Tyrion assumes Cersei was responsible for restoring Pycelle, because his paranoia about Mandon Moore is leading him to blame everything on her
  • But in truth, Pycelle’s return to the council came out of some complicated political maneuvering. It’s a case study in how power works in Westeros
  • First the Citadel protested that only they could demote a Grand Maester. Then they were brought up against the hard reality that the crown has a monopoly on violence in the Red Keep. As Tyrion says, multiple Targaryen kings outright executed Grand Maesters who had displeased them
  • As such, the smarter archmaesters out there in Oldtown realized they had to find another way to use their power: send a replacement instead
  • I love Varys’ description of their deliberations. First they considered some lowborn maesters for the position...just to pat themselves on the back for it
  • They like thinking of themselves as egalitarian, devoted to the life of the mind and isolated from the game of thrones. It’s like what LC Mormont said about the Night’s Watch: we’re one house up here, serving the realm
  • But we’ve already seen that the Watch has to play the game. How could they not, when they depend on the Iron Throne for support?
  • Same applies to the Citadel. Their interest lies not in lifting up the downtrodden, but answering Tyrion’s challenge to their authority
  • So they prepared to send Maester Gormon...a Tyrell from Highgarden. It’s an unmistakable message: fuck with us, we’ll stack the council against you
  • But Varys has spies in Oldtown, and Tywin responds in kind, putting Pycelle back on the council before the maesters can make their move
  • For all that the Lannisters and Tyrells have formed “one great house” to take control of Westeros, they’re still rivals for power. We saw that with Olenna questioning Sansa about Joffrey; we’ll see it again with Tywin arranging for Sansa to marry Tyrion instead of Willas Tyrell
  • Mace tries to make his uncle Garth master of coin; in the epilogue to ADWD, Kevan thinks that the Tyrells are never satisfied
  • This is a really good point, because so far as we’ve seen the Tyrells and Lannisters are putting on a huge show of how unified they are.
  • But behind the scenes, the Lannisters and Tyrells are vying for power, maneuvering against each other.
  • The Tyrells made the first move by inviting Sansa to dinner -- a move that even if Varys couldn’t hear what was being said -- was probably noticed by the Lannisters.
  • Now the Tyrells try to muscle in by putting in one of their own as the Grand Maester.
  • These moves and countermoves are going to continue with the Lannisters next intercepting the Tyrell attempt to marry Sansa to Willas by marrying Sansa first to Tyrion.
  • But the Tyrells aren’t quite out for the count when it comes to power plays in the Citadel itself.
  • As we’ll find out from Pate in AFFC, Archmaester Gormon assumes a further leadership position within the Citadel working under the old and probably dementia-suffering Archmaester Walgrave to evaluate ravencraft.
  • So, the Tyrells lost this round to Tywin, but they’re still making moves closer to home to shore up their support from the maesters.
  • And that may be the stronger long-term political move for the Tyrells as it allows the Tyrells to put their own people into play within the maesters by having a crony push through idiots like Lazy Leo.
  • Of course, the maesters are apolitical, not given to taking one side or another, right?
  • Well, no! Recall how Barbrey Dustin will later talk about how Maester Walys (Lord Rickard Stark’s maester) was a Hightower bastard.
  • Barbrey will theorize that it was Walys’ idea to do southron ambitions given his lineage.
  • But here in the present, it’s quite clear how political the maesters really are.
  • Who controls the teachers of the nobility and who has a seat on the small council are instruments of short and long term power.
  • What’s striking, though, in all of these moves and countermoves is how Tyrion has influenced nothing.
  • In the last book, Tyrion would’ve been at the center of this game; he’s the one who proposed the Tyrell marriage alliance in the first place
  • But now he’s back on the outside looking in. He learns about all this after the fact, because Tywin has stopped including him
  • Varys tells us that Tywin has also restored Boros Blount to the Kingsguard. Tywin is reversing all of Tyrion’s policies; it’s as if he was never in charge. It doesn’t matter if Tyrion has the drop on Varys, because Varys doesn’t work for Tyrion anymore; authority rests once more with big daddy
  • As Tyrion thinks, Pycelle was always a Lannister toady, and Boros Blount will be personally loyal to Tywin now
  • If only Tyrion could count on the Kingsguard’s loyalty, but one tried to kill him! Varys assumes Tyrion is here about Mandon Moore, following up on Tyrion’s paranoia about the assassination attempt in his last chapter
  • But he’s actually here about Shae, which changes the context of this meeting. Tyrion isn’t reclaiming his power--he’s arranging a booty call
  • As he admits, meeting up with Shae is a dumbass move. He’s no longer acting like a cunning politician, but like a jilted lover. He knows he should send her away, but he wants to have her all to himself one last time, because he can’t stand seeing her in public, watching her interact with other men: taller men, more handsome men
  • I think this is partially a metaphor for how Tyrion feels now that he’s no longer the Hand: Shae stands in for the power he now lacks
  • After all, Tyrion can’t see Shae because he’s being watched by the enemies he made in the last book. Janos Slynt’s sons would happily get him in trouble, as would Littlefinger, who has spies in half the brothels
  • So Tyrion is partially reaping what he sowed. They couldn’t touch you as the Hand of the King; now they smell blood and are moving in like sharks
  • But he’s also being spied on by people he thought were working for him--like the Kettleblack brothers. Tyrion gets pissy about how much he paid them, but what did he expect? They sold Cersei out to him without a second thought; why would they be more loyal to him, especially when Tyrion’s money and Cersei’s money both come from Tywin?
  • Like Bronn, the Kettleblacks have achieved the social advancement of knighthood. Plus, Cersei has a tool that Tyrion lacks: sex. Not that she’s fucking the Kettleblacks--she’s teasing in order to keep them on the hook
  • What’s interesting is that’s why Tyrion is so miserable here--he wants to get rid of this tension by having sex, and he hasn’t been able to
  • Sex robs him of power, because it’s the thing he wants so much that he’ll undercut his position to get it. That’s guaranteed by how his family works--his first reaction to the news that Cersei is seducing the Kettleblacks is to arrange for Tywin to catch her in bed with one of them
  • That’s how bad things are in House Lannister: no respect, no love, just everyone crossing each other’s borders to use their personal lives as political ammo. That’s why Varys reminds Tyrion of his family
  • The punch line of all this is that Varys, too, is spying on Tyrion for Tywin. The Spider already knows enough to get Shae killed--ironically, that makes him the only one Tyrion can trust. The damage is done!
  • So naturally, Tyrion wants to bring Shae here, to Varys’ quarters. He doesn’t have access to Maegor’s tunnels anymore; it’s a last resort
  • You can really feel the walls closing in at this point; Tyrion is barely staying one step ahead, and now his lover’s den is an empty cell
  • As the walls close in on Tyrion, he really starts to make more and more foolish moves.
  • The interesting question for me is why Varys goes through with aiding Tyrion here.
  • Varys advises Tyrion that this is a really stupid move on his part, but he still allows his own bed to be used for one “final” twist. Why?
  • One argument is that Varys thinks that Tyrion is actually going to go through with breaking up with Shae and sending her away.
  • In this scenario, Varys is acting in friendship towards Tyrion, doing his friend a kindness.
  • Tyrion, after all, considered Varys as perhaps the best friend he had in King’s Landing back in ACOK.
  • Moreover, Varys ostensibly detests the suffering of innocents, and maybe he thinks that Tyrion breaking it off with Shae would save her life.
  • But that Tyrion felt like Varys was his best friend in King’s Landing was only half of the quote.
  • The other half had Tyrion telling Varys that sometimes he felt like Varys was his worst enemy.
  • As Varys will later tell Tyrion after Shae is hired on as one of Sansa’s maids, he would tell Cersei the truth about Shae if she asked.
  • So, the more cynical reading here is that Varys is storing blackmail on Tyrion, using his friendship with Tyrion as ammunition for future plots.
  • And as we learn from ADWD, Varys’ long-term plot is to seat Aegon onto the Iron Throne.
  • It’s not completely clear if Varys was plotting to have Tyrion join up with Aegon at this point in the story.
  • However, I’ll make the argument that Varys was sowing the seeds of Tyrion and Tywin’s break here.
  • By demonstrating friendship to Tyrion at the expense of Tyrion and Tywin’s relationship, Varys further divides Lannister father and son.
  • Ultimately, though, I think Varys’ idea here is to keep a number of arrows in his quiver to disrupt the Lannister hold on power prior to Aegon’s arrival.
  • Shae, like Varys’ little birds, is an arrow for Varys to disrupt the power structure in Westeros … only to set up a new power structure.
• Negotiating with Shae
  • Tyrion set up his romantic date, but nothing about his preparation for it makes him feel romantic. He dresses nicely at first, only to realize that this will make all those spies very suspicious. Why dress up for Varys?
  • He has to tear his nice clothes off, just like Theon had to before meeting with Asha at Winterfell--both men project confidence, but are insecure
  • Tyrion’s ego has been shaken, first by losing power and then by seeing Shae out in public talking to other men. Doesn’t matter how I dress, he thinks; my body will never look the part, and so I’ll never be good enough
  • You know who does look the part? Loras Tyrell! Tyrion thinks bitterly about how Loras is already a legend: the boys want to be him, the girls want to fuck him, he’s the image of masculinity Tyrion can’t live up to
  • But we already saw in Sansa I that Loras is alienated and angry; we see it again here, when Tyrion talks to Loras on his way back to Varys’ rooms
  • It’s a mirror image of the conversation between Jaime and Brienne in the previous chapter. Jaime compared Brienne to Tyrion, and now here’s Tyrion asking Loras the same question Brienne asked Jaime: why join the Kingsguard? Loras says he’s a third son, not required to wed and breed
  • That’s a dodge, as much as Jaime saying he joined the Kingsguard for glory. In both cases, they really put on the cloak for love
  • But while Jaime joined the Kingsguard to be with the one he loved, Loras took the white cloak because the one he loved is already dead
  • Fantastic point, and one I was totally going to point out that you see why GRRM had this Tyrion chapter occur right after Jaime’s chapter if you hadn’t pointed out first! I am very smart.
  • There’s a sadness to Loras’ declaration that he’s only seventeen years old.
  • It reminds me of Rhaegar’s statement that he needed to be a knight.
  • These kids - Loras, Jaime, Rhaegar - are making decisions with lifelong consequences when they’re still children!
  • What’s even more fascinating, though, is that Tyrion is only looking at the exterior of the boy and seeing the public face, rather than the private self.
  • While George has said that the Tyrell Family - Olenna in particular - is aware of Loras’ homosexuality, that knowledge is not widespread  throughout much of the rest of Westeros.
  • Really, only Jaime will allude to it with him crassly and homophobically allude to Loras’ sexual orientation. Tyrion, for all his intelligence, doesn’t seem to know.
  • I think this is a spot where Tyrion’s intelligence is surface-level only and rather self-focused, using himself as the vantage-point for how the world works.
  • To Tyrion, it’s tragic that an able-bodied, attractive man has dedicated himself to the Kingsguard rather than to women and birthing children.
  • It reflects on Tyrion, because throughout this chapter and throughout the rest of his out-of-power arc, he self-loathes himself for his physical deformities.
  • And he’s constantly calling attention to the physical prowess of everyone else around him -- but in an entirely surface-level way.
  • In this, Tyrion very much resembles Cersei in how Cersei’s primary concern is for the external appearance of people, rather than the character within.
  • I think this is a real character flaw in Tyrion (and Cersei), making him kinda incel-like!
  • You have what I don’t have so you’re going to get all the girls, all the love.
  • That’s not a healthy way of living, but it’s of course all bound together in how Tyrion has been treated his entire life -- especially by dad who despises Tyrion for his deformities.
  • George reminds us of that by having Tyrion think of Loras’ rainbow cloak, how much better he looked in it than white. That rainbow represented Loras’ love for Renly, bright colors to match his passion
  • Now all the color has faded, like the corpses Tyrion saw in his fever dream after the battle, and Loras is left alone in white: a blank slate, a ghost
  • The meaning went out of life with Renly, as far as Loras is concerned. Why would he bother looking for love after that?
  • As he says: “when the sun has set, no candle can replace it.” This is one of my favorite lines in the series, a pitch-perfect summary of sorrow
  • Renly was surrounded by sun imagery, and when he was killed by his brother’s shadow, all the candles went out with him
  • Loras now lives in a twilight world, and any source of light would only be a cheap imitation of his fallen star, insulting to Renly’s memory
  • So he devotes himself to duty, the death of love. The Knight of Flowers is the very image of chivalry, but he’s only here to work through his grief
  • When Renly died, I pointed out the parallel to the Long Night, and the same applies here: when nuclear winter arrives and blots out the sun, will Azor Ahai and Lightbringer, his “candle,” really be able to replace it?
  • Melisandre certainly thinks so:
    • "It is night in your Seven Kingdoms now … but soon the sun will rise again. The war continues, Davos Seaworth, and some will soon learn that even an ember in the ashes can still ignite a great blaze.”
  • But of course Melisandre thinks that. She killed Renly! She has to believe that it was worth it, that the candle of duty can replace the sun of love
  • Ser Mandon lived only for his duty, Barristan once said; Varys notes that it wasn’t a compliment. Why not? Isn’t that the point of the Kingsguard?
  • In theory, the Kingsguard are supposed to sacrifice themselves, body and soul; in theory, this is admirable. But in practice, it’s off-putting. People are social creatures, and we’re drawn to each other’s individual personalities
  • You see this theme at work across ASOS: Mance leaving the Watch so he could wear any cloak he chose, Jaime insisting that he’s not just the Kingslayer, Barristan himself facing the “discipline” of the Unsullied
  • For a man to become a zombie is a terrible fate. Per The Great Dictator:
    • Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men!
  • Tywin has always denied Tyrion’s humanity, his heart, in part because that makes it easier to deny his own, especially after Joanna died birthing him
  • So Loras’ lament about the sun and the candle links the mythological imagery to the personal story. It’s about Azor Ahai and Nissa Nissa, but it’s also about Renly, Joanna, Tysha: everyone loved and lost
  • Tyrion’s arranged this whole rendezvous with Shae to preserve something against his father’s purge, to avoid becoming like Varys or Loras
  • But he mocks Loras’ romantic sentiment: you get that from a song? Typical teenager, head in the clouds! Tyrion’s cynicism prevents him from falling in love again, because of what happened when he was a moonstruck teenager: Tywin took it all away, as he threatens to again
  • We don’t see Tyrion directly react to Tywin’s brutal dressing-down from his previous chapter. Maybe it’s too painful to look at directly
  • Instead, he reacts by hiding himself away with Shae. He tells himself that it’s time to send her away for her own safety: Tywin threatened her life
  • But he can’t do it. She’s the only sweet part of his life. Here in this empty cell with her is the only place he can avoid the stares
  • Tyrion wants to love and be loved; he can’t help himself, even as part of him tells himself he’s just repeating Tysha all over again
  • Shae is playing a role like anyone else. When Tyrion comes in, he sees Varys in disguise as a woman, thinking he’s Lollys at first
  • There’s an undercurrent of conflict over gender roles in this chapter. Varys as a eunuch isn’t seen as a proper man; Loras is, despite being gay, because he performs heterosexuality more than Varys, whose role calls for disguises. Tyrion has straight sex, but only in private
  • Shae wants to make it public: she wants to be his lady. Tyrion is willing to overlook all the signs that Shae is out primarily for advancement--and why wouldn’t she be? What does she owe him?
  • She keeps angling for a place at his side, wearing nice clothes, climbing the ladder like Bronn and the Kettleblacks
  • She wants to be invited to Joffrey and Margaery’s wedding: the ultimate public performance of heterosexuality as political power
  • And this is also what Tyrion deeply wants in his subconscious.
  • Remember the dream Tyrion had back at the end of ACOK when he dreamed of the feast and the honors he received from his family? Shae makes a cameo at the end of the dream
    • Shae was waiting to embrace him. She took him by the hand, laughing and teasing, calling him her giant of Lannister.
  • In his heart, Tyrion wants to embrace Shae as his Lady of Lannister, to be loved by Shae as his lady love, rather than his paid girlfriend.
  • It’s actually really fucking tragic that the thing that both Tyrion and Shae want is almost identical.
  • Of course, the reasons they want such things are different.
  • Tyrion deeply wants to be loved by the people around him, honored for the things he did to save King’s Landing from Stannis.
  • Shae, well, she’s looking to climb the social ladder to keep doing better for herself.
  • Where once Shae was a sex worker/camp follower who fortune allowed her to be at the Green Fork and who happened to catch the eye of Bronn at just the right time.
  • And never to let an opportunity go to waste, Shae has climbed high in service to Tyrion. Or did until the riot in King’s Landing.
  • The sense I get from Shae in this chapter is that she feels that her service to Lollys is a major step down from the manse near the Iron Gate that she once lived in.
  • There, she had servants, guards and a singer. Now she’s waiting on Lollys Stokeworth: a girl that she loathes.
  • It’s ugly how Shae mocks Lollys for being stupid to Tyrion for the girl’s fear of large gatherings of people due to the rape she experienced at the riot.
  • It’s also kind-of in keeping with how eighteen year old people are. What I’m saying is that Shae resembles a bro playing Halo 2 in a college dorm, saying terrible things over the mic, because she’s eighteen or so with a lot of strong feelings about things but not a lot of direction or ways to channel them.
  • For Shae, this ugliness stands in for the simmering anger Shae feels at being brought down a rung on the social ladder.
  • Her dream, really her fantasy, is to rise higher by entering Tyrion’s service as his lady wife.
  • That would be a promotion for Shae, allowing her to rise as one of the greatest ladies in all of Westeros.
  • Tyrion cannot accommodate Shae’s request though, because of what Tywin threatened: Tywin will hang the next whore he finds in Tyrion’s bed.
  • But even if Shae wasn’t a sex worker, I’m not so sure Tywin wouldn’t hurt her terribly in some other way had she somehow succeeded in her plan.
  • There’s something really interesting in that Shae asks for the jewels and silks that Tyrion promised her.
  • As we’ll learn later, Tytos Lannister’s mistress paraded around Lannisport wearing the jewels and silks of Tywin’s mom after she died.
  • That more than a little resembles Shae here. Shae would wear the jewels and silks Tyrion promised her and act as his lady wife.
  • But Tywin would never allow a common woman to look highborn, to wear Lannister colors … openly.
  • Lannister pride dictates that only the most well-born people to earn the Lannister surname, to flaunt their societal status.
  • But Shae, a common woman. She’s fit for the bedchamber only, to be hidden away as Tyrion is doing here, as Tywin will do at the end of ASOS.
  • Flaunt your role, rise above your station, and Tywin will march you naked through the streets.
  • But remember your role, stay in your lane, stay behind closed doors and you can wear the chain of the Hand of the King
  • It’s the kind of event the singers sing about...including Symon Silvertongue, Shae’s personal singer
  • As with Cersei and Jaime, we’re seeing how the realities of both power and sex undercut the pretenses of chivalric romance
  • Cersei used sex to convince Jaime to give up material wealth for her; Shae uses sex to try and convince Tyrion to give her material wealth
  • Shae can’t innocently enjoy the attentions of a singer, because her very presence in this city puts her in danger: again, everyone is a potential spy
  • Even here and now, Tyrion can’t help himself but check for Varys’ secret tunnels. Speaking of secret tunnels: Bronn is visiting Chataya’s now
  • That really pisses Tyrion off, which reveals where his head is at. As he admits to himself, it’s not like he ever slept with Alayaya
  • But Bronn doesn’t know that, so Tyrion processes this as a personal betrayal. That’s this chapter in a nutshell: losing power, losing love, losing sex, and feeling like those are all one big ball of humiliation
  • Tyrion is seriously tempted to have Bronn kill Symon to save face; he pulls back only to preserve that dream of innocence for a little while
  • Tyrion’s reduced to chasing his own tail while his father reverses all his decisions. We’re starting to see serious anger simmer under the surface. By the end of the book, it’ll erupt in the form of a crossbow bolt to the source of his misery: Dad’s cock and balls
  • Very well said.
  • Tyrion increasingly feels embittered by his experiences trying to navigate this brand new world -- the one that changed while he was asleep.
  • What’s interesting about Tyrion’s anger is that it’s not as though he’s upset about his policies being reversed for ideological reasons.
  • Sure, he’s angry about the Mountain Clansmen being turned away by King’s Landing, and he’s upset over what happened to Chataya.
  • But ultimately, the source of his anger is that he’s disempowered. Tyrion has lost his power.
  • Like we talked about all during ACOK, Tyrion fails to uphold his promise to do justice in King’s Landing save for a few rare times.
  • Instead, he bolsters an illegitimate, immoral regime in the form of Joffrey and Cersei all while supporting his dad committing war crimes in the Riverlands.
  • It’s easy to get lost in Tyrion’s headspace, because he is such a dynamic POV character, but really, he’s not upset that his policies are reversed.
  • He’s upset that he’s not in power -- a power that he sees as a substitute for the love he never received from his family.
  • And so, from here on out, Tyrion’s world becomes small. He focuses on small threats like Symon Silvertongue, and he’s dispatched to tasks beneath him -- like becoming Master of Coin.
  • Furthermore, Tyrion becomes a pawn to Tywin’s schemes more and more, a puppet of his dad.
  • And that dad will betray Tyrion in the most humiliating way possible by sleeping with his girlfriend.
  • So, yeah, this chapter is a large direction sign to crossbow bolts to the dick and Tywin not shitting gold.

Foreshadowing/Groundwork

Tyrion wonders if he should get a gold nose to replace the one Mandon Moore cut off...but it’s Jaime who will get a gold hand after his original hand is cut off.

Cersei will have sex with a Kettleblack brother--but it’s Osney, rather than Osmund.

Shae asks for her jewels and silks here which we find out in Cersei’s first AFFC chapter is something she does the night before Tyrion’s Trial by Combat when she asks for her jewels. Unfortunately, she asks Cersei, and Cersei refuses her (and also refuses to honor other promises she made to Shae) until she reveals the location of Sansa Stark.

While Tyrion tells Bronn to find Symon rather than kill him, it won’t take but two more Tyrion chapters before Tyrion tells Bronn to kill Symon.

Theory/Discussion

Varys has birds in the Citadel?? Who is Varys’ spy among the Archmaesters? Marwyn? Will that have an impact on Samwell’s story in Winds?

• No tunnels in the Citadel that we know of (yet)
• So Varys’ spy is likely not one of his little birds that he has moving through the tunnels of the Red Keep.
• The spy, then, is likely one of the Archmaesters who was present during the deliberations.
• Currently, there are 21 Archmaesters at the Citadel: half of them only netting a mention in the AFFC Appendix
• Of the ones who have more than an appendix entry, we have the following:
  • Benedict: the one who says that the War of the Five Kings is a misnomer because Renly was dead before Balon was crowned.
  • Ebrose who studies urine and is mentioned frequently in TWOIAF as assisting Yandel in his studies but doesn’t like Pate
  • Gallard who wrote a history of the Summer Isles and Tall Tree Town
  • Marwyn who has done a lot of stuff and is enroute to Dany
  • Mollos who says the world is five thousand years old
  • Norren the previous Seneschal of the Citadel
  • Perestan who studies the history of the Andals and teaches history generally at the Citadel
  • Ryam who doesn’t have a valyrian steel link
  • Theobald: a gruff but good man who is the current Seneschal of the Citadel
  • Vinegar Vaellyn: acid-tongued and disliked by most of the students
  • Walgrave: an archmaester who likely has dementia and held the skeleton key that Pate stole
• So, there aren’t many who really stand out as potential spies for Varys.
• Perhaps Vaellyn with that ae name has some Targaryen/Blackfyre lineage, but I think that’s unlikely.
• Really, in my mind, there’s only one who really stands out: Marwyn the Mage.

Conclusion

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• Join us next week for ASOS Arya I, II & III, in which a walk through the woods ends with meeting the Brotherhood without Banners, an unexpected reunion at a familiar inn and an escape attempt.