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Episode 101: A CLASH OF KINGS, TYRION VII: "Kissing Cousins" SHOW NOTES

Added 2020-02-24 15:00:03 +0000 UTC

Hello and welcome to the Not A Cast … podcast: the one true chapter-by-chapter podcast going through A Song of Ice and Fire one chapter a week. I’m one of your hosts Jeff better known as BryndenBFish. 

And I’m your other host Emmett, better known as PoorQuentyn.          

Welcome to the one hundred and first episode of the Not A Cast, titled: “Kissing Cousins: An Analysis of ACOK, Tyrion VII,” in which all the Lannister dysfunction we talked about in Tyrion VI somehow gets even worse.

Emmett intros Jinx

Jinx says hi:

sex worker, story editor, witch and fantasy fangirl who recently moved from Philadelphia to L.A.

Find my other fandom work:

I Know that Nerd with Steven Stark

Podcast Winterfell

Con of Thrones 2019: Clash of Kinks & Sexual Empowerment

Ian Thomas Mallone’s Estradiol Illusions 

This episode is brought to you by our Small Council: 

Spoiler warning: All published books, 5 novels, 3 Dunk and Egg novellas, histories, interviews, TWOW sample chapters, as well as Game of Thrones the TV show. Anything and everything!

Question

The High-Bearded Priest, one of our small council members, asks:

What is your funniest line or moment from the ASOI&F series? I have to go with ADWD, Tyrion's last chapter where a slave comments that when Drogon arrived, "People started running, trying to get out of that pit, but I come to see a show and by all the gods of Ghis, I saw one."

I picked two:

"I never win anything," Dolorous Edd complained. "The gods always smiled on Watt, though. When the wildlings knocked him off the Bridge of Skulls, somehow he landed in a nice deep pool of water. How lucky was that, missing all those rocks?"
"Was it a long fall?" Grenn wanted to know. "Did landing in the pool of water save his life?"
"No," said Dolorous Edd. "He was dead already, from that axe in his head. Still, it was pretty lucky, missing the rocks."
"Will you want a pig to ride as well?" asked Kasporio.
"Why, I did not know your wife was in the company," said Tyrion. "That's kind of you to offer her, but I would prefer a horse."

So, thank you to the High Bearded Priest for the question. If you’d like to ask us a question on the NotACast podcast, you are welcome to become a Sworn Sword or higher patron over at patreon.com/NotACastASOIAF where you can get show notes, early access to every episode, Q&A and bonus episodes! Speaking of those bonus episodes, our next patreon-only episode “Every Rose Has Its Thorns”: our analysis of House Tyrell is coming this week for all of our Poor Fellow and above patrons if you’re listening on our release date and can be, again, found at:  patreon.com/NotACastASOIAF.

I gotta admit: I might have overdone it with the Siege of Storm’s End stuff, Emmett. As is tradition, I apologize in advance … FOR NOTHING. But, that’s not all we wanted to chat with you all here about before we get into the main episode. We have decided to do something a bit radical as we approach this upcoming part of ACOK. Namely, we’re going to rearrange the published order of ACOK. So, here’s our upcoming schedule following Tyrion VII (and just a note: all dates are general release dates or Poor Fellow patron release dates for our monthly bonus episodes)

So, yes, we are doing a month of Stannis, er, Catelyn. No, we are self-parodies. We are.

Anyways, we think it’ll be a lot of fun to do ACOK this way. So, BOLO for that.

But enough about our patreon and our schedule (which we’ll remind you about next week), when we last left Tyrion, he had poisoned Cersei, prevented word of the apocalypse from spreading in Westeros and had imprisoned Pycelle for ratting him out to Cersei. Let’s find out what happens to Tyrion Lannister in this synopsis of ACOK, Tyrion VII!

Synopsis

Tyrion wonders aloud to Podrick Payne at why Lancel Lannister has arrived so late in the evening. But even though Tyrion judges it to be midnight, Tyrion will meet with Lancel in his solar. 

Does Lancel think to find me drowsy and slow of wit at this hour? he wondered. No, Lancel scarce thinks at all, this is Cersei’s doing. His sister would be disappointed. Even abed, he worked well into the morning-reading by the flickering light of a candle, scrutinizing the reports of Varys’s whisperers, and poring over Littlefinger’s books of accounts until the columns blurred and his eyes ached. 

Tyrion splashes water on his face and decides to take a shit. As he squats, Tyrion figures that the best way to unsettle a teenager like Lancel is to make him wait. So, he makes sure he takes an especially long shit. After he finishes browning the chamber pot, Tyrion gets into a bathrobe and musses up his hair to make it look like he was roused from sleep and heads out to meet with Lancel.

Tyrion finds Lancel pacing in front of the fireplace in his finest Lannister apparel - slashed red velvet, black silk, jeweled dagger and a gilded scabbard. Dazzling. Tyrion greets him, teasing him that his visits are too few; but really, why are you here, Lancel? Well, Lancel is here to command Tyrion to release Grand Maester Pycelle. He flashes a piece of paper in Tyrion’s face, telling him that this is the warrant for his release. Tyrion waves it off and pretends that he’s concerned about Cersei’s health after her recent illness. The reality, though, is that Tyrion is a bit upset that the dosage of poison he gave Cersei only put her out of the action for a limited amount of time. 

But anyways, now that Lancel is here, would he like to have a drunk, I mean a drink with his favorite cousin to help him sleep? Nope, not in the least. He’s here, because Cersei told him to be here. And he doesn’t need help sleeping. Lancel is a very big boy. 

Knighthood had made the boy bolder, Tyrion reflected-that, and the sorry part he had played in murdering King Robert. “Wine does have its dangers.” He smiled as he poured. “As to Grand Maester Pycelle... if my sweet sister is so concerned for him, I would have thought she’d come herself. Instead she sends you. What am I to make of that?” 

Well, Tyrion can make fuck-all of it according to Lancel. Just release Grand Maester Pycelle, you annoying asshole. And you’ll have to do it because Cersei is Queen Regent. Even if Tyrion is Hand of the King, he serves the king. The regent rules.

“Perhaps you ought to write that down so I’ll remember it better.” The fire was crackling merrily. 

Yes, George. We get it. You like writing Tyrion chapters.

But then Tyrion dismisses Podrick Payne and turns back to Lancel. Is there anything else, kid? Yeah, Ser Jacelyn Bywater defied an order from Cersei, and the queen wants him in jail for treason or else. Tyrion correctly interprets this to mean that Bywater refused the order to release Pycelle. But he’s not intimidated by Lancel. If Lancel wants to threaten Tyrion, he’ll have Shagga come in and kill him with an axe, not a wineskin.

Lancel goes red at this and declares himself a knight.

“So I’ve noted. Tell me-did Cersei have you knighted before or after she took you into her bed?”
The flicker in Lancel’s green eyes was all the admission Tyrion needed. So Varys told it true. Well, no one can ever claim that my sister does not love her family. “What, nothing to say? No more warnings for me, ser?” 

Lancel demands that Tyrion withdraw these absolutely untrue and false allegations, but Tyrion threatens Lancel with letting Joffrey know what Tyrion knows. Tyrion is sure that Joffrey will have a thing or two to say about Lancel killing Robert to sex Cersei. Lancel yells that it so wasn’t like that! He only gave Robert the strongwine that Cersei gave to him. He was supposed to obey Cersei in everything. That’s what Tywin told him to do! 

“Did he tell you to fuck her too?” Look at him. Not quite so tall, his features not so fine, and his hair is sand instead of spun gold, yet still... even a poor copy of Jaime is sweeter than an empty bed, I suppose. “No, I thought not.”
“I never meant... I only did as I was bid, I...”
“... hated every instant of it, is that what you would have me believe? A high place at court, knighthood, my sister’s legs opening for you at night, oh, yes, it must have been terrible for you.”  Tyrion pushed himself to his feet. “Wait here. His Grace will want to hear this.” 

Lancel then starts begging for mercy from Tyrion, and please, please, please don’t tell Joffrey. He’ll end it. He’ll leave. He’ll do anything to avoid getting his ass killed. Tyrion tries not to laugh. He doesn’t want Lancel to leave. They can come to an understanding, right? He wants Lancel to stay. He can keep on fucking Cersei and maintaining her trust. And no one will ever, ever know about his misdeeds. All he has to do for Tyrion is become his spy. You think you can do that, Lancel? Absolutely. 

Satisfied, Tyrion pushes a wine cup in Lancel’s hand to celebrate their arrangement, and he’ll sweeten the deal. He’ll give up Pycelle -- not entirely unharmed. He lost a few hairs during the interrogation process. As for Ser Jacelyn, well, Lancel will just tell Cersei that Ser Lancel can win Ser Jacelyn over. But there’s one last thing:

“One last thing. With King Robert dead, it would be most embarrassing should his grieving widow suddenly grow great with child.”
“My lord, I... we... the queen has commanded me not to …” His ears had turned Lannister crimson. “I spill my seed on her belly, my lord.”
“A lovely belly, I have no doubt. Moisten it as often as you wish... but see that your dew falls nowhere else. I want no more nephews, is that clear?”
Ser Lancel made a stiff bow and took his leave. 

With Lancel gone, Tyrion pities the kid, thinking Lancel doesn’t deserve the shit he and Cersei are putting him through. Tyrion wonders whether Cersei or Jaime will murder Lancel first. 

Anyways, Tyrion’s done his due-diligence about feeling a little bad for the upcoming murder of a teenager, and now he wants to leave the Tower of the Hand. He wakes Podrick Payne up and has him summon Bronn and get horses saddled and ready to move out. Bronn arrives shortly thereafter, asking Tyrion who made pissed in his cornflakes. Cersei. 

“Cersei, as ever. You’d think I’d be used to the taste by now, but never mind. My gentle sister seems to have mistaken me for Ned Stark.”
“I hear he was taller.”
“Not after Joff took off his head. You ought to have dressed more warmly, the night is chill.” 
“Are we going somewhere?”
“Are all sellswords as clever as you?” 

Bronn and Tyrion set out through the dangerous streets of King’s Landing and move down Shadowblack Lane down Aegon’s High Hill and over to Pigrun Alley. The moon peeks in and out from over the rooftops, and Tyrion encounters an old woman dragging a dead cat she probably is going to eat. 

Tyrion wonders about the former Hands of the King and how they were just so dumb and so unwilling to engage in being #clever. That was the only way to beat Cersei. Play her own game. And if you don’t do that, ya end up dead - just like Ned and Jon Arryn - and unlike Tyrion Lannister who feels so very alive at all of this.

Tyrion and Bronn arrive at Chataya’s brothel, and Bronn goes to utilize the services of a dark-eyed Dornish girl while Chataya has Tyrion wait for Alayaya to be done with another client. Chataya states that she has to go make the turret room ready for Tyrion, but would he like a glass of wine while he waits. Uh, yeah. Tyrion is a functioning alcoholic. The wine proves to be of a poor vintage, and that’s because Chataya can’t find any good wine these days from the Arbor.

Then Chataya heads out, and Tyrion admires the view as she leaves, wondering about her beliefs of her profession being a bit of a religious, priestess-like situation. Tyrion notices some people looking at him at Chataya’s, remembers how someone attempted to spit on him and ended up hitting Bronn instead. That person no longer had teeth.

“Is milord feeling unloved?” Dancy slid into his lap and nibbled at his ear. “I have a cure for that.”
Smiling, Tyrion shook his head. “You are too beautiful for words, sweetling, but I’ve grown fond of Alayaya’s remedy.”
“You’ve never tried mine. Milord never chooses anyone but ‘Yaya. She’s good but I’m better, don’t you want to see?” 

Tyrion says he might try her next time, but not today. But when Dancy points out that Tyrion is in the mood, you know the one, what’s the polite way to say it: the fucking mood, Alayaya comes in and says that Tyrion wants to come with her. 

When Alayaya leads Tyrion away, Tyrion asks why Dancy was aggro on Tyrion, Alayaya reports that she made a bet that she could get a lord to choose her, or else, she’ll lose her black pearls to another sex worker: Marei. Tyrion says that maybe he’ll go take Dancy upstairs; so, she won’t lose her pearls, but Alayaya thinks not. And Tyrion knows it to be true. He’s monogamous with Shae in a sort-of fashion. His facebook relationship status reads “It’s complicated.”

They head up the stairs of the turret tower, and Tyrion asks what Alayaya does back in the room while he’s away? She sleeps. Sometimes she reads a book. She’s been learning to read. And then we get a top-10 ASOIAF quote:

“Sleep is good,” he said. “And books are better.” 

Then Tyrion kisses her on the cheek and heads down the tunnel. He comes out and finds a piebald gelding, hearing nice voices singing above him. 

It was pleasant to think that men still sang, even in the midst of butchery and famine. Remembered notes filled his head, and for a moment he could almost hear Tysha as she’d sung to him half a lifetime ago. He reined up to listen. The tune was wrong, the words too faint to hear. A different song then, and why not? His sweet innocent Tysha had been a lie start to finish, only a whore his brother Jaime had hired to make him a man. 

But now Tyrion thinks that he’s free of Tysha. She won’t haunt him any more. Mm hm. All he needs is Shae. Mm hm. 

Tyrion finds the manse gates closed and locked. He pounds on the door until a Braavosi daggerman opens the eyehole and admits him. He and the rest of the people guarding Shae had been hand-selected by Varys under Tyrion’s strict orders that they be old, ugly, scarred and especially impotent. Oh, and if they were pedophiles or practitioners of beastiality, all the better? Like, wow, Tyrion. Varys hadn’t found the animal-lovers, but he had put two large gay Ibbenese men to work along with a bunch of ugly mercs. And Shae hadn’t minded. Or … she hadn’t voiced her complaints. Besides, Tyrion was uglier than all of the mercs put before her. Though … maybe she did see his ugliness. Maybe he should put the Moon Brothers or Black Ears to guard her, but then that’d only draw attention to Shae, and she’d be easily identified as the Hand of the King’s concubine. 

Tyrion asks one of the Ibbenese guys if Shae is awake, but she’s not. So, Tyrion creeps up to her room and finds Shae sleeping in the nude. He stands in the doorway admiring the sight, wondering how a sex worker can look so clean, sweet and innocent. Nice, Tyrion. Really progressive of ya. He gets a hardon and decides he’s going to disturb her rest. He climbs up to the bed and goes down on her as she sleeps. She moans, Tyrion mounts and one-thrust cums. I’m just the messenger! Stop looking at me.

Shae wakes up and tells Tyrion that she was having this awesome dream, but Tyrion says it’s not a dream. He doesn’t want to pull out of her. In fact, he wishes he could stay inside of her forever and thinks very-non villainously:

It is real, all of it, he thought, the wars, the intrigues, the great bloody game, and me in the center of it… me, the dwarf, the monster, the one they scorned and laughed at, but now I hold it all, the power, the city, the girl. This was what I was made for, and gods forgive me, but I do love it...
And her. And her. 

And that is ACOK, Tyrion VII! And now that we’re done. Imagine me beating the “Tyrion is a villain drum”, because boy is this chapter full of Tyrion being both an asshole and a villain! What did you all think of Tyrion in this chapter?

Depth

This feels like the intermission chapter in Tyrion’s story in ACOK. Like Bran IV last week, it’s a smaller and more intimate affair than the political barnburners that preceded it, focusing on a handful of characters instead of hustle and bustle. It’s more stageplay than blockbuster. In context, it feels like a necessary breather before the walls Tyrion is currently keeping at bay start to close in. In Tyrion VIII, he’s reacting to Renly’s death and Stannis’ consolidation of forces at Storm’s End. In Tyrion IX, the city rises in rebellion against him. In Tyrion X, he learns Stannis is coming with fire, blood, and sorcery, and Tyrion is the last defense for a city that hates him. From there, it’s a mad rush to the Battle of Blackwater, where he sets thousands of people on fire and almost dies at the hands of one of his own men. Tyrion VII is where George gathers together the last bits of character work he needs to accomplish before we plunge over the cliff. 

Sex workers in this chapter are: 

affected by social forces 

surprisingly “clean, sweet, innocent, elegant, dignified…”

George really likes writing Tyrion chapters -- or at least he did in ACOK/ASOS, and I think I finally figured out why they’re so much more fun for George. Basically, I think GRRM wrote Tyrion’s chapters and arc the same way I wrote The Cautioner’s Tale. Sorry, Jinx. I know you’ve heard this before, but for you all out there: back in 2009 when I was a young, I started writing TCT as a series of unconnected, character-oriented vignettes: “funny” “real” stories that were very loosely based on some of my own experiences in my early twenties. But then later, I started editing these vignettes into a loose narrative. Then as I got older and hopefully more-rounded about the type of story I was writing, I did a lot of rewriting to focus on the themes. Maybe this was a backasswards way of writing TCT, but that’s how my story got written. If it’s any personal consolation to myself, I think this is sort of how George did Tyrion’s ACOK/ASOS story.

Like, if we’re looking at the two major plot actions of this chapter: Tyrion manipulates Lancel into becoming his spy and Tyrion goes to visit Shae, they’re kinda unconnected! What I mean is that they’re basically vignettes that can be dropped anywhere into the story. These vignettes aren’t super important to the overall story of ACOK (like, Lancel literally does one act of espionage on behalf of Tyrion in the whole of ASOIAF), but more importantly, these two scenes don’t really tie into each other. Sure, there’s the common theme of sex, but they read to me like spots where GRRM wrote character-heavy mini-stories that illuminated the type of person Tyrion is at the mid-point of ACOK. And I think that’s where the real value of Tyrion VII is: showcasing the type of character Tyrion is at this juncture in the story.

Foreshadowing/Groundwork

Tyrion promises Lancel that if he holds faith with him that he’ll reward Lancel with a lordship. And, though Lancel won’t receive his lordship because of what he does for Tyrion, he ends up becoming a lord in ASOS when Lancel is rewarded with the Darry lordship -- though he later gives it up to join the Warrior’s Son after Cersei allows the Faith to rearm as the Faith Militant.

Tyrion muses about who will kill Lancel, thinking The only question would be whether Jaime cut [Lancel] down in a jealous rage, or Cersei murdered him first to keep Jaime from finding out. Tyrion's silver was on Cersei. One of the theories (the one I favor) for the Faith’s Champion in Cersei’s upcoming Trial by Battle is none other than Lancel Lannister. And though, GRRM probably didn’t have Cersei’s Trial by Battle in mind back when he was writing ACOK, I think he always knew that Cersei would kill Lancel -- albeit in TWOW through Ser Robert Strong acting as her vessel and champion in her Trial by Battle.

Riot Watch! Tyrion watches an old woman dragging a dead cat away to eat. Yep. It’s gotten so bad, they’re getting to Stannis-levels of starvation in King’s Landing. And also, there’s no good wine coming in from the Arbor (because Renly is starving King’s Landing out, you guys, c’mon) Just two Tyrion chapters to go before it all goes apeshit!  

Later in ACOK, Shae will tease and seduce Tyrion in an attempt to prevent her being restationed to the Red Keep Kitchens as a kitchen wench, and Tyrion will get annoyed with Shae, thinking back to Dancy: The way she was acting reminded him of Dancy, who had tried so hard to win her wager.

Theory/Discussion

What do we make of the relationship between Tyrion and sex workers/Shae and the depiction of sex work in ASOIAF in general?

The divine right of kings simplifies power by declaring that certain people are born important and worthy of rule. In order for this to be true, there must be people who are born insignificant who are invariably, by design, harmed in order to protect those above them in the social hierarchy. 

Many people understand this same concept in the context of resources: rich people like the Lannisters are wealthy at the literal expense of the smallfolk. Even though it doesn’t have to, this applies to violence too. 

What happens to “empowered” sex workers?

Individuals can empowered financially but we have to recognize the difference between that and power. 

Chataya is the owner of the most “upscale” brothel in King’s Landing and she’s powerful in terms of finances and wielding secrets, but even she cannot protect her daughter Alayaya from being publicly whipped on the orders of Tywin Lannister. 

Note also that Alayaya, a Black woman, is punished for sex work she didn’t even do, and suffers in the place of a lighter-skinned sex worker, Shae, who is able to successfully pass as a handmaiden in the Red Keep. This is another example of Tyrion choosing to put a sex worker in danger and it ending in violence. 

Shameless plug of my Con of Thrones panel

Where Wh*res Go: Sex Workers in Westeros & Beyond

In George’s world, sex workers are never the POV and only sometimes named... yet they are central to critical storylines like Baelish’s rise, Tywin’s fall, and Tyrion’s dark turn to villainy. How do geography, ethnicity, and class structures shape these characters’ experiences of life and death? Let’s finally consider the cultural impacts of portraying brutal violence against sex workers on the biggest TV show of all time. 

This event will include discussions of sex & sexual violence.

Conclusion


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