Episode 97: A CLASH OF KINGS, TYRION VI: "A Lion Still Has Claws" SHOW NOTES!

Hello and welcome to the Not A Cast … podcast: the one true chapter-by-chapter podcast going through A Song of Ice and Fire one chapter a week. I’m one of your hosts Jeff better known as BryndenBFish. 

And I’m your other host Emmett, better known as PoorQuentyn.          

Welcome to the ninety-seventh episode of the Not A Cast, titled: “A Lion Still Has Claws: An Analysis of ACOK, Tyrion VI,” in which Tyrion brings Cersei good news: Renly and Stannis are fighting each other! Oh, and Tyrion also poisons her, strips her of her protectors, and throws Pycelle in jail without her permission...but for Tyrion and Cersei, this counts as getting along.

This episode is brought to you by our Small Council: 

• Hand of the King WolfmanZack 
• Grand Maester Timbob
• Lord Commander of the Kingsguard Mark N. 
• Lord Travis, Master of Ships and Warden of the Waves
• Ser Keith J, Master of Whisperers
• Lord Philip the Merciful, Master of Laws
• Jancy O, Lady Commander of the Night’s Watch
• Lord Gene, Master of Coin
• Archmaester June, Healer of the Lesser Poxes
• Ragged Michael, Warden of the North
• Nelson the Hammer, Prince of Dragonstone
• Scarlett the Other Red Woman and Mistress of Whisperers
• Lord Micah: Warden of the West and the Kraken’s Bane
• Lord James: the Jim that was Promised
• The High Bearded Priest
• Lord Jake, Assistant (to the) Hand of the King
• Lady Xena Valyrian
• Hedrigal, Captain of the Air Ship Arrogance
• His Grace’s High Inquisitor Frank
• Ser Jasper the Cruel, the King’s Justice
• Laurence, Prince of Dorne
• Kelly, Warden of the East and Mistress of (Old) Bay of Crabs
• Steven the Steadfast, Master of Hounds
• The Blue Winter Rose Knight of Highgarden
• Lady Stephanie
• Lord Anonymous
• Lord Carlos
• Lord Andrew the Restless, a Priest of the Drowned God
• The King's Cook, Nolly (No-lee) Olly (Oh-lee), Master of Cannoli
• Ser Sourcedelica 
• Prince Matthew of House Targaryen - Proud Soy Boy of Summerhall, Defender of the 5th Book and Swing Dancer with Dragons
• Ser K.W. Dent, Elsie of the Blackwood Guard, and Batman of the Seven Kingdoms
• Lord Penchant for Nostalgia
• Queer Alex, Rainbow Commander of the They-des and Gentle-thems
• Lord Clint, Esq., Master of Absolutely, Positively NOT Serving As A Spy for Several Unnamed High Lords and Ladies In Order to Further the Secret Blackfyre-Style Conspiracy to Overthrow The Oppressive Small Council
• Haldivar, The Waiter for TWOW
• A-a-ron Damphair Prophet of the Forsaken and High Priest of Euron Crows Eye
• Lieutenant Glenn Lord of H town
• Vanerys of the House Colgaryen, the First of Her Name, Princess of Dragonstone, Mistress of Art, The Overworked, Queen of the Pencils, the Eraser and the First Draft, Queen of Monochrome, Devotee of the Great GOT, Portraitist of the Realm, Lady Realist of the Seven Kingdoms, Blender of Paints and Maker of Drawings
• Thank you folks very much!

Spoiler warning: All published books, 5 novels, 3 Dunk and Egg novellas, histories, interviews, TWOW sample chapters, as well as Game of Thrones the TV show. Anything and everything!

Question

Ser Spinel Did Nothing Wrong, a Sworn Sword patron, asks:

I was thinking about ACOK, Tyrion VI recently and wondered, what would have happened is Tyrion had given Cersei something more lethal than ex lax? How would that have changed things in King’s Landing at the time (much less after Blackwater), and how long could he have gotten away with it?

So, thank you Ser Spinel for the question. If you’d like to ask us questions here on the NotACast podcast, you are welcome to become a Sworn Sword patron over at patreon.com/NotACastASOIAF. Additionally, we’ll be rolling out our next patreon-only episode “Flag Day”, in which we analyze the sigils and heraldry of ASOIAF, starting on Monday, January 27th over at patreon.com/NotACastASOIAF

Absolutely! Been looking forward to doing that one for a while now! But enough about patreon. When we last left Tyrion, he had toured the Guildhall of the Alchemists, dismissed the horrors of war with Cleos Frey and had a lovely chat with his sister Cersei. Let’s find out what becomes of our acting Hand of the King in this synopsis of ACOK, Tyrion VI!

Synopsis

Tyrion hears the high harp and pipes playing and a man singing behind the door to Cersei’s chamber, and he knows the song.

I loved a maid as fair as summer with sunlight in her hair.

Ser Meryn Trant was on door-duty tonight at Cersei’s chambers, and he seems a bit annoyed at Tyrion’s presence. But, he opens the door and lets Tyrion through.

Inside, Tyrion finds Cersei in chill-mode, barefoot with her “golden hair artfully tousled.” He compliments Cersei on her beauty and notices that the singer is Lancel. He tells the boy that he had a good voice. But Lancel screws up his face, thinking that Tyrion is mocking him.

It seemed to Tyrion that the lad had grown three inches since being knighted. Lancel had thick sandy hair, green Lannister eyes, and a line of soft blond fuzz on his upper lip. At sixteen, he was cursed with all the certainty of youth, unleavened by any trace of humor or self-doubt, and wed to the arrogance that came so naturally to those born blond and strong and handsome. His recent elevation had only made him worse.

Lancel demands to know whether Tyrion has been summoned, bu no, Tyrion hasn’t. He’s here on his own accord to talk important matters of state with Cersei. 

When Cersei asks whether it’s about her completely justified imprisoning of the begging brothers who were spreading “filthy treasons” on the streets, Tyrion says nah, he’s not here about that. Oh, sure, he was annoyed when Cersei had Captain Vylarr order the arrests of the prophets, but he’s not about to expend energy on arguing about that. Instead, he needs to bring news to Cersei -- something she needs to hear: alone.

“Very well.” The harpist and the piper bowed and hurried out, while Cersei kissed her cousin chastely on the cheek. “Leave us, Lancel. My brother’s harmless when he’s alone. If he’d brought his pets, we’d smell them.” 

We’ll see how harmless Tyrion can be when he’s alone. 

Cersei notices that Tyrion seems pleased with himself, and yeah he is. He hops onto Cersei’s bed and thinks that his chain is growing longer as the sound of hammers rings through the Street of Steel. Tyrion notices that the bed is the same one that Robert died in, and he asks why Cersei kept it. Because it gives Cersei sweet dreams. But enough about that. What’s the good news, Tyrion?

Tyrion smiled. “Lord Stannis has sailed from Dragonstone.”

Cersei bolted to her feet. “And yet you sit there grinning like a harvest-day pumpkin? Has Bywater called out the City Watch? We must send a bird to Harrenhal at once.” He was laughing by then. She seized him by the shoulders and shook him. “Stop it. Are you mad, or drunk? Stop it!”

It was all he could do to get out the words. “I can’t,” he gasped. “It’s too... gods, too funny... Stannis

“-What?“

“He hasn’t sailed against us,” Tyrion managed. “He’s laid siege to Storm’s End. Renly is riding to meet him.” 

Cersei grips Tyrion’s arms hard in utter disbelief at Stannis and Renly fighting. But then she laughs and thinks that maybe Robert was the smart one. Tyrion joins in the laughter, and the two loving? Siblings? (Are those the right words?) laugh together. 

Cersei wonders if maybe Renly and Stannis will make peace rather than fight, but Tyrion doesn’t think so. 

“They are too different and yet too much alike, and neither could ever stomach the other.”

Cersei recalls Stannis’s grievance about Renly being granted Storm’s End, and refers to that grievance as “the same dull song in that gloomy aggrieved tone he has”. It’s something, I tell you, but I’m just not sure Cersei is being quite objective. We’ll get to that. 

Tyrion proposes a toast, and Cersei agrees. Tyrion fills two glasses and tosses in a powdery pinch of something into Cersei’s glass. He gives Cersei a glass, and he toasts Stannis while Cersei toasts Renly. Tyrion sees Cersei’s smile and wonders at it:

When she smiled, you saw how beautiful she was, truly. I loved a maid as fair as summer, with sunlight in her hair. He almost felt sorry for poisoning her. 

The next morning, the queen’s messenger arrives informing Tyrion that Cersei had called out sick from work. Tyrion pretends like he gives a shit that Cersei is very much giving a shit. But he’ll be able to take on the responsibility of treating with Cleos Frey by his lonesome.

The Iron Throne of Aegon the Conqueror was a tangle of nasty barbs and jagged metal teeth waiting for any fool who tried to sit too comfortably, and the steps made his stunted legs cramp as he climbed up to it, all too aware of what an absurd spectacle he must be. Yet there was one thing to be said for it. It was high. 

Lannister red cloaks and King’s Landing gold cloaks face each other from opposite ends of the hall while Kingsguard, courtiers, supplicants and even Sansa Stark crowd into the throne room and balcony. Tyrion, to emphasize his earlier thought, really likes the view from way up here on the Iron Throne. He orders Cleos Frey to come forward.

Cleos walks up to the Iron Throne -- with Tyrion noticing that he’s losing his hair. Wonder why that is. Couldn’t possibly be because of all the immense danger he’s gone through and will be going soon enough, now could it? Littlefinger thanks Cleos for bringing Robb Stark’s peace offer, but Grand Maester Pycelle says that the terms won’t do. Tyrion has the new terms:

“Robb Stark must lay down his sword, swear fealty, and return to Winterfell. He must free my brother unharmed, and place his host under Jaime’s command, to march against the rebels Renly and Stannis Baratheon. Each of Stark’s bannermen must send us a son as hostage. A daughter will suffice where there is no son. They shall be treated gently and given high places here at court, so long as their fathers commit no new treasons.” 

Cleos protests that Robb will reject these terms, and Tyrion thinks - but doesn’t say - that he expects as much. All the same, the Lannisters have raised a new army in the west, Renly and Stannis are fighting each other and the Dornish will join with the Iron Throne soon via a betrothal between Myrcella Baratheon and Trystane Martell. Everyone cheers, and Tyrion continues on saying that he’ll release Harrion Karstark and Wylis Manderly in exchange for Willem Lannister and Lord Cerwyn and Ser Donnel Locke for Tion Frey. 

Tell Stark that two Lannisters are worth four northmen in any season.” He waited for the laughter to die. “His father’s bones he shall have, as a gesture of Joffrey’s good faith.” 

Good faith is rich coming from you, Tyrion, given what you’re about to do and have been doing so far.

Cleos says that Robb wanted Arya and Sansa as well as his father’s greatsword. Tyrion feels pity over Sansa Stark, but he’ll only free the “girls” (provided Jacelyn Bywater can find Arya) after Jaime has been freed. And Ice will be returned to Robb Stark after Robb agrees to a peace. P.S. how well Arya and Sansa will be treated depends entirely on Jaime remaining unharmed. Yeah, sure it does.

Cleos says he’ll bring the message to Robb, and Tyrion will send an additional escort with his cousin: Vylarr and all his sister’s Red Cloaks. You see, it’s very much because Cleos is a beloved cousin of Tyrion’s and not for some nefarious shit that Tyrion has planned. Vylarr stands there like a stone, but Pycelle starts to protest that the red cloaks exist to protect Cersei and her children. Tyrion dismisses this, stating the gold cloaks and kingsguard do that just fine, thank you. Anyways, off you go, Vylarr.

Tyrion looks down at the small counselors at the council table, sees Varys smiling, Littlefinger pretending to be bored and Pycelle “gaping like a fish”. The herald comes forward to signal the end of business unless anyone else has anything to say, and then a voice calls out:

“I will be heard.” A slender man all in black pushed his way between the Redwyne twins.

It’s none other than Ser Alliser Thorne, last seen being packed away by LC Mormont to take the rotted hand to King’s Landing.

Tyrion pretends that he had no idea, none whatsoever, that Ser Alliser was in King’s Landing, But Thorne can see through Tyrion’s shit. He knows that Tyrion’s kept him in the dark. Tyrion blames Bronn for not telling him, recalling (falsely) how he and Ser Alliser walked the Wall together. Varys puts in that they’re just so very busy in these troubled times, but Alliser says shit’s worse than he thinks. He needs to tell the king about it. But the king is busy (playing with his new Myrish crossbow that Tyrion gave him as a distraction from misruling the kingdom for a bit). So, Alliser will need to speak with the king’s servants.

“As you will,” Ser Alliser said, displeasure in every word. “I am sent to tell you that we found two rangers, long missing. They were dead, yet when we brought the corpses back to the Wall they rose again in the night. One slew Ser Jaremy Rykker, while the second tried to murder the Lord Commander.” 

Tyrion hears someone laugh, and he wonders if one of his small counsellors is behind Ser Alliser and whether this is all meant to mock him. Dwarves lived in fear of mockery, but there was something about what Thorne was saying that touches a nerve in him.

Tyrion remembers being up on the Wall with Jon Snow, feeling something in the darkness. A dread. But he rationalizes that this is an irrational feeling on his part. He likes Jeor Mormont though. So, he asks after Mormont. As we know, Mormont survived the attack, and Thorne reports as much. 

“And that your brothers killed these, ah, dead men?” “we did...”

“You’re certain that they are dead this time?” Tyrion asked mildly. When Bronn choked on a snort of laughter, he knew how he must proceed. “Truly truly dead?”

“They were dead the first time,” Ser Alliser snapped. “Pale and cold, with black hands and feet. I brought Jared’s hand, torn from his corpse by the bastard’s wolf.” 

Littlefinger asks if they can see the hand, but Ser Alliser frowns and reports that it’s rotted to pieces while he was waiting. So, Tyrion tells Littlefinger to buy a hundred spades for Alliser’s journey back to the Wall so that the NW can bury their dead a little better. Tyrion then orders Jacelyn Bywater to give Alliser his pick of the dungeons. When Jacelyn says that the dungeons are nearly empty, Tyrion then orders more arrests and for word to be spread that there are bread and turnips up at the Wall. And then he dismounts the Iron Throne and makes for the exit.

Ser Alliser Thorne was not so easily dismissed. He was waiting at the foot of the iron Throne when Tyrion descended. “Do you think I sailed all the way from Eastwatch-by-the-Sea to be mocked by the likes of you?” he fumed, blocking the way. “This is no jape. I saw it with my own eyes. I tell you, the dead walk.”

“You should try to kill them more thoroughly.” Tyrion pushed past. Ser Alliser made to grab his sleeve, but Preston Greenfield thrust him back. “No closer, ser.”

Thorne knew better than to challenge a knight of the Kingsguard. “You are a fool, Imp,” he shouted at Tyrion’s back.

The dwarf turned to face him. “Me? Truly? Then why were they laughing at you, I wonder?” He smiled wanly. “You came for men, did you not?”

“The cold winds are rising. The Wall must be held.” 

Tyrion tells Thorne that he’s given the Watch men. Now go be happy, or he’ll take a crab fork to the knight once again. Also, tell Mormont and Jon Snow that Tyrion says hi.

Littlefinger and Varys join Tyrion as he walks out, and the eunuch master of whisperers compliments Tyrion on his sly tactics in appeasing Robb Stark with Ned’s bones, taking away Cersei’s protectors and pretending to help the Night’s Watch by sending more men while not seeming afraid of “grumpkins and snarks.” Littlefinger asks if Tyrion plans to send away all his guards, but Tyrion isn’t sending away his guards. He’s sending Cersei’s guards away. When Littlefinger claims Cersei won’t allow that, Tyrion says that she might. He means everything that he says. What about the lies, Littlefinger asks. Oh, Tyrion means the lies too. Why so sad, Littlefinger? 

“I do not relish being played for a fool. If Myrcella weds Trystane Martell, she can scarcely wed Robert Arryn, can she?”

“Not without causing a great scandal,” he admitted. “I regret my little ruse, Lord Petyr, but when we spoke, I could not know the Dornishmen would accept my offer.”

Littlefinger was not appeased. “I do not like being lied to, my lord. Leave me out of your next deception.”

Only if you’ll do the same for me, Tyrion thought, glancing at the dagger sheathed at

Littlefinger’s hip. “If I have given offense, I am deeply sorry. All men know how much we love you, my lord. And how much we need you.”

“Try and remember that.” With that Littlefinger left them.

Tyrion asks Varys to walk with him. As they walk, Varys tells Tyrion that LF is right about Cersei not wanting to send her guards away. But Tyrion has a plan for that: he’ll need Varys to convince her that it’s the best plan. As it happens, it’s all about Tyrion freeing Jaime. Ah, so the thief, poisoner, mummer and murderer Tyrion had Bronn searching for had all been a part of that scheme? Absolutely. Tyrion will just dress these criminals (and mummer) up in Lannister red cloaks, and they’ll look like Lannisters. And if Cersei will feel uneasy at the prospect of losing her guardsmen: so much the better. Tyrion likes her uneasy.

Cleos leaves the city that afternoon, rejoining the Stark soldier by the King’s Gate, and Tyrion goes off in search of Timett and the Burned Men. He finds them in the barracks, and he orders them to assemble at his solar at midnight. Tyrion orders the clansmen not to be too drunk when they arrive.

Shagga and the Stone Crows and Timmet and the Moon Brothers arrive at midnight, and the party moves from the Tower of the Hand essentially unseen. Tyrion was Hand, and he did whatever the fuck he wanted to do.

Next, we’re at a door, and axes are shattering the wood. Tyrion hears a woman gasping in fear, and Tyrion and his boys roll into the room. They move over to bed and rip the covers away, finding a naked serving girl under the sheets. She begs them not to hurt her, and Tyrion tells her to go. They’re not after her. Well, Shagga’s after her. He wants to put a “strong son” in her. But Tyrion tells Shagga to let her be.

Tyrion dragged the soft blanket off the bed, uncovering Grand Maester Pycelle beneath. “Tell me, does the Citadel approve of you bedding the serving wenches, Maester?” 

Pycelle is naked and wants to know the meaning of all this. He’s just so loyal and old. And a servant. Ah, but are you, Pycelle? Tyrion says that he knows he informed Cersei about his plan to betroth Myrcella to Trystane Martell. But Pycelle denies it. It wasn’t him. It was … Littlefinger. No, Varys! But Tyrion knows better. He only told Pycelle about his plan in those letters he wanted delivered to Doran. But Pycelle only sent one. The other he gave to Cersei.

Pycelle clutched for a corner of the blanket. “Birds are lost, messages stolen or sold... it was Varys, there are things I might tell you of that eunuch that would chill your blood.”

“My lady prefers my blood hot.”

“Make no mistake, for every secret the eunuch whispers in your ear, he holds seven back. And Littlefinger, that one...”

“I know all about Lord Petyr. He’s almost as untrustworthy as you. Shagga, cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats.” 

Shagga complains about there being no goats. But Tyrion tells him to make do. So, Shagga goes roaring forward and Pycelle shrieks and pisses himself. Shagga grabs Pycelle’s beard and cuts ⅔ of it off with his axe. Tyrion asks Timett if a little torture will make Pycelle more forthcoming, and Timett says yeah. Pycella’s scurred.

Tyrion turns back to Pycelle and orders the rest of Pycelle to be “shaved”, but don’t move too much Pycelle, you could get yourself cut. Tyrion demands to know how long Pycelle has been spying for Cersei, but the Grand Maester starts sputtering about how he’s a loyal Lannister dude. He loves Tywin. He even got Aerys II Targaryen to open the gates of King’s Landing to him.

That took Tyrion by surprise. He had been no more than an ugly boy at Casterly Rock when the city fell. “So the Sack of King’s Landing was your work as well?”

“For the realm! Once Rhaegar died, the war was done. Aerys was mad, Viserys too young, Prince Aegon a babe at the breast, but the realm needed a king... I prayed it should be your good father, but Robert was too strong, and Lord Stark moved too swiftly...” 

Tyrion wonders how many people Pycelle betrayed. Aerys, Ned, Tyrion, Robert, Jon Arryn, Rhaegar? How many, dude? Pycelle claims he didn’t kill Robert which Tyrion agrees with. But he knows if the boar didn’t get Robert, Pycelle would have. This leads Pycelle to call Robert a wretched, drunk, vain, lecherous king which … sad to say, but true. Pycelle reports that Renly was trying to put Margaery in Robert’s bed to supplant Cersei. And Jon Arryn knew about … Yeah. Tyrion interrupts. He knows what Jon Arryn knew, but he doesn’t want his clansmen to know. But Pycelle continues on about how Lysa was being sent back to the Eyrie, and Sweetrobin was going to be fostered on Dragonstone.

And now, we get our first hints at the true conspiracy behind Jon Arryn’s death. Tyrion accuses Pycelle of poisoning Jon Arryn, but Pycelle denis this. So, Tyrion has Shagga shave him closer, 

When he felt the blood trickling down his neck and onto his chest, the old man shuddered, and the last strength went out of him. He looked shrunken, both smaller and frailer than he had been when they burst in on him. “Yes,” he wimpered, “yes, Colemon was purging, so I sent him away. The queen needed Lord Arryn dead, she did not say so, could not, Varys was listening, always listening, but when I looked at her I knew. It was not me who gave him the poison, though, I swear it.” The old man wept. “Varys will tell you, it was the boy, his squire, Hugh he was called, he must surely have done it, ask your sister, ask her.” 

Disgusted, Tyrion order Pycelle bound and thrown into the black cells as the Grand Maester is led out whimpering about doing all for Lannister. 

When the Grand Maester was gone, Tyrion helps himself to a few more bottles of things as the ravens quork overhead. He really was hoping that Pycelle was the one that Tyrion could trust as he knows that Littlefinger and Varys are no less trustworthy. They were more dangerous in reality due to their subtly.

Perhaps his father’s way would have been best: summon Ilyn Payne, mount three heads above the gates, and have done. And wouldn’t that be a pretty sight, he thought. 

And that is ACOK, Tyrion VI! Boy, it feels like each successive Tyrion chapter has George pressing the gas pedal down on the plot, but our last Tyrion chapter is doing masterful setup for King’s Landing endgame material, this one is providing clues and context for events from Ned’s investigation of AGOT, and I love it! What did you think, Emmett?

Depth

One of the primary pleasures of Tyrion’s time as Hand, exemplified in this chapter, is how well George plays with information. Tyrion is constantly a step ahead of us (and Cersei, and Pycelle, and everyone else) in this chapter. Just as we think we understand his plan, there’s another twist, another bit of setup he did beforehand. We’re just watching it all play out. You just gotta stand back in awe at how deftly George is spinning all these plates in these Tyrion chapters. Here, he’s paying off/further setting up so many things we’ve touched on in previous chapters: Tyrion and Cersei’s dysfunctional relationship, Renly and Stannis’ dysfunctional relationship, how Tyrion manages his public persona, how he manages the Small Council, and how all the political maneuvering of the game of thrones fits in context with the coming apocalypse. It’s all here, all well done; another Tyrion chapter that feels like a full meal.

It’s certainly a full meal of a chapter, but halfway through the chapter, after Tyrion has ensured that Westeros will remain mostly ignorant of the threat of the apocalypse, my stomach started churning just a tad. We’ve talked about how Tyrion is better able to negotiate the powers and dangers associated with being the Hand of the King than Ned Stark. But here, I couldn’t help but be reminded of AGOT, Eddard XI and the one time Ned uncomfortably sits the Iron Throne.

There’s a lot of intentional parallels. It’s the one time that both Hands of the King will sit the Iron Throne, both Hands send their “own” men into the Riverlands. And then there’s the Iron Throne itself. Both men use similar language in describing the chair:

Ned: He sat high upon the immense ancient seat of Aegon the Conqueror, an ironwork monstrosity of spikes and jagged edges and grotesquely twisted metal.

Tyrion: The Iron Throne of Aegon the Conqueror was a tangle of nasty barbs and jagged metal teeth waiting for any fool who tried to sit too comfortably

But the contrast is in how they regard their unique places in sitting the throne. Ned finds it “hellishly uncomfortable ” while Tyrion enjoys how high it is and how he can look down at everyone. Most importantly, the contrast is what Ned and Tyrion do from the Iron Throne. For all the critiques we levied onto Ned for his failure to properly utilize the power of his position, Ned tried to issue out justice for the smallfolk savaged by Gregor Clegane and his reavers. Tyrion, in opposition, will use his power to subvert Westerosi norms and keep Westeros ignorant of the apocalypse for short-term political advantage.

And the seeds for Tyrion’s unethical conduct on the throne are planted in Tyrion poisoning Cersei at the start of the chapter.

• Tyrion v. Cersei
  • As with Tyrion I, we begin with Tyrion outside his sister’s door, with a Kingsguard in the way
  • But while Mandon Moore put up a struggle, Meryn Trant stands aside for Tyrion, making his displeasure known only through the tone of his voice
  • It’s a great way of capturing how things have and haven’t changed for Tyrion over the course of ACOK so far
  • He’s established his authority in ways large and small; everyone knows he’s taken charge of Team Lannister in the capital
  • But they don’t like it, and neither Meryn nor Lancel seems afraid to demonstrate that they don’t like it, which bodes ill for Tyrion when he falls from power in ASOS
  • Tyrion enters on a room full of song to find a scene straight out of the songs: the queen with the light shining off her, the handsome knight serenading her 
  • Tyrion throws this all off visually, like Brienne did in Catelyn II; we see this emphasized when Cersei talks about the protestors as “lice” as Tyrion’s clansmen as “pets,” always talking about filth, disgust, bad smells
  • Cersei despises anyone, especially the poor, who don’t live up to the beautiful image she and Lancel are presenting in this scene
  • The argument that inequalities in social structures are maintained in part by visceral disgust from those above towards those below exists in our real world
  • Look at the disgusted sniff that drives the climax of PARASITE, or look at the evidence suggesting repulsion is a significant motivator for conservative voters
  • For Cersei, Tyrion is a constant reminder of this distressing filth constantly threatening to overtake her, which it finally does with the sparrows and the Walk
  • This is enhanced by the company he keeps: savages, sellswords, sex workers. So instead, she hooks up with her substitute Jaime, who keeps up the image
  • She’s not merely hooking up with Jaime-lite, she’s using him.
  • Lancel is singing for Cersei, being putin the same place as with the piper and the harpist.
  • It’s Cersei communicating that Lancel is only here to serve -- he’s a mere servant to the real Lannisters
  • First Cersei as we’ve been seeing in the first six Tyrion chapters in ACOK
  • Then, Lancel becomes a servant of Tyrion’s come Tyrion VII to close to the end.
  • But we have to stress not only that Cersei’s attitude towards those below her is hateful and dehumanizing, but that the image she’s maintaining is bullshit
  • Her beauty is skin deep, and so is Lancel’s. He’s not an honorable knight in service to his chaste queen: they’re fucking in the bed of the king they killed
  • They’re completely unworthy of the songs they’re insisting they exemplify
  • And Tyrion, too, gets farther and farther away from the seasons of love, preferring the seasons of hate, in part because of how Cersei treats him
  • This opening scene feels to me like Lannister dysfunction in microcosm
  • After Tyrion kicks out Lancel and his backup band, he drops the bomb, the first of many times in the chapter he’s ahead of both other characters and the reader
  • We learned in Catelyn II that Stannis has laid siege to Storm’s End, but now we learn that Renly is riding to meet him in response
  • Imagine the sheer weight lifting from Lannister shoulders at this news! 
  • They’ve been worried about Stannis since before the series even started, and Renly became a serious potential thorn in their side when Cersei let him escape
  • Even though their actual military losses (and political humiliation) so far have come at the hands of the Starks and Tullys, every powerful Lannister has made clear that they consider the Baratheon brothers to be the existential threat
  • They see Robb, like the Greyjoys later on, as an annoyance, a distraction, a parochial warlord with delusions of grandeur who will eventually run out of luck
  • Robb doesn’t even want the Iron Throne! Renly does, and he has a gigantic army. Stannis does, and he’s close by with his military record and lack of mercy
  • Everything Tyrion has done so far in this book has taken place under the shadow of the crowned stag, the certainty that both Stannis and Renly are coming
  • And now, instead, they’ve come for each other, the twin existential threats canceling each other out, the battle to take place between them on the doorstep of the Baratheon castle rather than against the Lannisters at King’s Landing
  • Now of course, as rereaders, we know that there will be no battle, and that Stannis will soon threaten the Lannisters and the city alike with a large force
  • And as we’ll see in Catelyn III, Stannis has a logistical argument (not just a self-serving one) for going after Renly instead of Joffrey, and Renly has a strong political incentive to respond immediately to an attack on his home castle
  • Still, George frames this revelation in such a way as to emphasize how galling it is that the Baratheons wound up fighting each other instead of the family that corrupted, betrayed, and finally killed their big brother
  • He makes us watch the villains cackle with glee at the folly of their foes
  • They’re so hideously happy that they’re getting away with this, that they’ve received a reprieve from the consequences of their actions
  • And while this can be seen as a reprieve from Stannis and/or Renly being at the gates, it does far more damage to the Baratheon cause.
  • Yes, both sides have reasons to be going for Storm’s End as you mentioned.
  • But that delay in the siege of King’s Landing buys Tyrion just enough time to get his chain long enough to stretch across the mouth of the Blackwater.
  • And that delay gives the pyromancers just enough time to produce enough wildfire to turn Blackwater Bay into a green hell.
  • Much as George is thumbing the scale against the Starks in the first few books, he does similarly for Stannis in ACOK: making the timing just right to ensure that he fails.
  • Timing and structure: George’s advantages in writing ASOIAF!
  • What a beautiful terrible structure this is, that Tyrion and Cersei, the most dysfunctional of siblings, who have despised each other since childhood and who are committed as of the end of ADWD to killing each other, finally come together, finally have a moment of connection...over another dysfunctional sibling dynamic!
  • They laugh, they hug, they share what seems like genuine intimacy for what may be the first time, and it’s all because the Stannis-Renly sibling relationship has completely busted apart and will now inevitably end in blood
  • Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, after all, and here we see the winner-take-all structure of a feudal civil war laid bare: the Lannisters can only be happy together if the Baratheons are not
  • And so of course Cersei’s primary concern in the face of this news is that Stannis and Renly may be able to kindle a familial bond and come for their common foe:
    • "Do you think it will truly come to battle between them? If they should come to some accord—"
  • Tyrion reassures her that this is unlikely, with the line that I keep repeating because it so perfectly sums up what’s happening between the Baratheon bros:
    • "They are too different and yet too much alike, and neither could ever stomach the other."
  • If Stannis and Renly were identical, they might still be fighting for the same spot, but they’d get along better and might be able to come to an arrangement
  • If Stannis and Renly were total opposites, they’d probably hate each other, but also probably have different goals and so not come into too much conflict
  • But because they are opposites on the surface and the same underneath, they are destined to try and kill one another
  • Renly is flowers, sunshine, spring and summer, the cheers of the crowd, and a cheerful shirking of duty. Stannis is stone, torchlight, autumn and winter, silent dinners, and an obsession with doing his duty. One is associated with a fairytale castle covered in roses, one is associated with a volcano covered in gargoyles
  • Yet underneath these radically different aesthetics, Renly and Stannis are both larger-than-life personalities who inspire fervent devotion in their followers; they’re both stubborn as all hell, and both want to be the center of attention
  • Ironically, Tyrion could also be describing himself and Cersei: opposites on the surface, as I was saying earlier, but both driven by paranoia, alienation, an instinct for corrupt bullying, and a desperate desire for Dad’s approval
  • What George is getting at is the difference between yin and yang v. oil and water. Sometimes this combination of same-yet-different attracts, sometimes it repels
  • Think of the sitcom odd couple, friends who are opposite on the surface but different underneath. Is that a recipe for success? Sometimes, but it’s also a recipe for failure
  • This tension between resolution and dissolution reflects back on the individual mind, always caught between public and private, child and adult, fear and desire
  • So many philosophies and ideologies and organizations are about aiming for a holistic reconciliation, finding the same inside the different
  • Stannis and Renly, as I’ve argued before, can be seen as externalizations of the two halves of Robert’s psyche, unleashed and duelling in the wake of his death
  • George further develops this theme by having Cersei talk about the Baratheon backstory, about how Robert in effect chose his Renly half over his Stannis half
  • Renly was already advanced in the succession once, by the brother he resembled, the brother who never gave Stannis the love he so longed for
  • That just adds a layer to the insult Stannis is feeling from Renly now--it’s Young Robert breaking the rules and screwing me over again!
  • So, now that Renly has broken the rules, Stannis can break the rules too and besiege his family’s ancestral castle.
  • The Lannisters put a product of incest onto the Iron Throne, passed him off as Robert’s true son, and now Renly is jumping the line of succession, because he can.
  • Everyone is being rewarded for not following the rules.
  • Fuck it, Stannis can break norms too and attack Storm’s End: the castle he once starved for a year to hold rather than surrender
  • The problem for Stannis is that he doesn’t know or knows and doesn’t care about how bad the optics of attacking Storm’s End are.
  • Oh, sure, he’s got a logical reason to besiege Storm’s End as he tells Catelyn in her third chapter: “To take the city, I need the power of these southron lords I see across the field. My brother has them. I must needs take them from him."
  • But to attack his own castle not only undercuts Renly but himself too in the eyes of the nobility as people. 
  • And that’s to say nothing of the possibility that the Baratheon brothers will slaughter each other rather than fight the Lannisters
  • Again, we’ll talk about this more come Catelyn III, but this is more of Stannis subsuming his own Baratheon identity, exposing the dysfunction of House Baratheon 
  • All this dysfunction pries open the possibility of the Lannister regime’s survival
  • And so Tyrion and Cersei drink an ironic toast to brotherly love. I adore how George does this--bringing Tyrion and Cersei together over Stannis and Renly coming apart...and then showing us that this bond won’t last either
  • Tyrion takes advantage of Cersei’s vulnerability, the fact that they are as close as they’ve ever been, to poison her as part of a power play to dismiss her guards
  • Now, Tyrion could’ve killed Cersei here if he felt like it! He’s not outwardly making war on his family as he will at the end of ASOS and on into ADWD and TWOW
  • But it does wrap up the theme of dysfunctional family relationships perfectly, by showing us how there really is no refuge for all these alienated squabbling souls
  • And Tyrion does it not only as part of a pre-existing plan, but to bolster his own reputation, his own self-image, different from but just as fragile as Cersei’s:
    • Harmless when I’m alone, am I? 
  • Last week, you talked about imagining Asha’s POV of Theon in ACOK, Theon II, and this week, I’m thinking a little more about how someone like Cersei might have regarded Tyrion
  • Recall that all of Tyrion’s ASOS chapters were written during the timeline of George writing ACOK -- knowing that, we can see that George is planting seeds for the accusation that Tyrion was behind Joffrey’s poisoning.
  • Tyrion’s status as a POV sometimes works to obscure Tyrion’s villainy especially in ACOK
  • Let’s think about the poisoning of Joffrey in that light. He’s got the means to poison Joffrey as Pycelle will report at Tyrion’s trial. He’s got motive in wanting to kill Joffrey as he loudly announces before the court. And he’s got the opportunity as Joffrey’s cupbearer.
  • Of course, Tyrion isn’t the one to truly poison Joffrey, but you can see in this chapter how he becomes the likely suspect.
  • Tyrion uses poison he felched from Pycelle’s chambers back in Tyrion IV against Cersei here. He needs her out of the way to achieve some short-term and long-term political advantage.
• Tyrion v. the court
  • And so, for the first time in ACOK, we behold the object of all this struggle: the Iron Throne. Ironically, as in its first appearance in AGOT, we’re not seeing it sat by an actual king, but by their Hand, and in both cases, they’re going well beyond what the actual king would want
  • So we’re seeing the Throne not just as a passive symbol of power, but a way to enhance one’s power, and that’s reflected in Tyrion’s thoughts on it
  • As with everyone from Ned to Stannis, Tyrion points out that the Throne is a ugly stinking heap of ugliness...but that doesn’t change his desire for it
  • The Throne is high, and allows Tyrion’s voice to ring out commandingly down the length of the hall; these are proxies for the respect he has always been denied
  • Here we’re seeing in microcosm the lure of power. It makes you bigger than yourself. It wipes away all your insecurities. Or does it? In truth, this is an illusion, quickly fading, after which you grasp for more and more to get the feeling back
  • Again, revisiting how Tyrion and Ned evaluate the Iron Throne:
  • Tyrion plucked at one of the twisted blades that sprang from the arm of the throne. 
  • Ned could feel cold steel against his fingers as he leaned forward. Between each finger was a blade, the points of twisted swords fanning out like talons from arms of the throne. Even after three centuries, some were still sharp enough to cut. The Iron Throne was full of traps for the unwary. 
  • Tyrion sees the throne as a means of compensating for his dwarfism, and plucking at “twisted blade” gives me the impression play/instrument
  • But for Ned, it’s all the hidden dangers, the sword through his fingers.
  • Ned mistrusts power, sees the dangers and knows that his father and brother died in agony before this chair
  • In contrast, Tyrion is cultivating that power, using the Iron Throne as the instrument which he can play a careful, cynical tune
  • Anyway, specifics: once more we see Cleos as a hapless rag doll being tossed back and forth between the warring halls of power, with no concern for him
  • Cleos is starting to lose his hair from the stress, and as he points out, Robb will never accept these terms...which Tyrion confirms in his thoughts
  • Because while Robb’s offer was sent in good faith, Tyrion is using his response as a cover to break Jaime out, in violation of custom
  • Everything he declares publicly in his loud ringing Iron Throne voice needs to be seen through this lens, because it transforms everything into mockery and deceit
  • When Tyrion demands that Robb free Jaime to lead his host against the Baratheons, it is with the expectation that this will not be necessary
  • When Tyrion says that Robb will have to trade Jaime if he wants his sisters back, it is with the expectation that this will be impossible, because Jaime will be freed
  • There’s another layer to that dishonesty, in that (as he admits, but only to himself) Tyrion doesn’t have Arya and couldn’t make this trade anyway
  • Underneath all this, Tyrion feels a stab of sympathy toward Sansa, as well he should...but that doesn’t change his behavior, nor its potential impact
  • Here we see how the Lannisters’ narrow definition of family interest works to break down trust with others, guaranteeing the continuation of hate and conflict
  • Again, it’s these dysfunctional families working out their rage on the country
  • Speaking of which, Tyrion then goes for what he calls the thrust--dispatching the entirety of the red cloaks with Cleos, stripping Cersei of her protectors
  • As Varys says, you gotta admire Tyrion’s sheer political skills here! He’s squeezing this diplomatic back-and-forth dry for every possible advantage
  • By sending the red cloaks, he ensures not only that he keeps a numerical advantage over Cersei, but that the men sent to free Jaime can stroll into Riverrun under a peace banner, hiding in plain sight
  • All in the guise of protecting Cleos, even while Tyrion has made plain he doesn’t actually care about his cousin’s well-being
  • Vylarr, as Tyrion said earlier in the book, knows what side of the bread is buttered, and it’s left to Pycelle to speak for the previous balance of power
  • Tyrion brushes the Grand Maester off without a second thought, setting up his domination of their confrontation later in the chapter
  • Violating political norms is becoming routine under the Lannister regime in King’s Landing much as violating military norms is becoming routine in the Riverlands (as we’ll find out next week in Arya VI)
  • As we talked about in Tyrion V: Tyrion isn’t reaching back to Robb in good faith. But here he’s taking it a step farther.
  • Recall in the last Tyrion chapter that Tyrion’s original intent was to have Cleos Frey “wear out his bony Frey rump” riding back and forth from Riverrun to King’s Landing while Ser Stafford Lannister raised an army in the west.
  • But now Tyrion has decided fuck it. Let’s free Jaime. 
  • From a pure political sense, it seems the smarter, cynical play is the one Tyrion articulated in Tyrion V: get the Starks to stay put at Riverrun thinking that peace is real while Stafford’s army prepares for war.
  • Of course, Tyrion doesn’t know that Robb is already on the march, but this isTyrion having that brash, damn-the-consequences under the surface similarity to Jaime -- like you were saying about Cersei and Tyrion!
  • But the long-term consequence of sending men to free Jaime is that Tyrion is ensuring that no one is going to want to negotiate with the Lannisters in good faith.
  • There’s a reason why Brynden Tully keeps the Stark banner flying high over Riverrun a year or so after the Red Wedding
  • He can’t trust that the Freys-Lannisters won’t butcher his men and break the terms of surrender he might make.
  • And while a large part of that can be traced directly to the Red Wedding, the DNA of Lannister treachery extends farther back than the Red Wedding: like to using a peace party as cover for a commando raid
  • And all of this was for such short-term gain! Jaime isn’t even that great of a commander! My God!
  • Even as Tyrion picks up these short-term gains, however, he’s laying the groundwork for his later fall
  • Cersei’s not going to forget this. Nor will the Tullys. Nor will Littlefinger, who is openly pissed about being caught up in Tyrion’s deceptions
  • On one hand, it’s hilarious to watch Littlefinger come all unruffled when it turns out he’s not the smartest man in the room after all
  • On the other, Tyrion’s racking up quite the enemies list here...and all of this comes together with the question of Alliser Thorne
  • It’s easy for the reader to have forgotten him along with Tyrion at this point
  • But of course, he’s bearing the most important news imaginable! The end of the world is coming, and Tyrion sits the Iron Throne. Gondor calls for aid!!
  • Not only Westeros, but ASOIAF itself hangs in the balance; the entire story changes if Tyrion takes Alliser seriously. And George writes this so well.
  • In the silence after Alliser’s apocalyptic warning, Tyrion hears a snigger
  • And that guides his entire response, because like Tywin, what Tyrion fears most is laughter, although father and son come at mockery from opposite angles
  • Tywin isn’t laughed at; it’s the laughter aimed at his father he fears returning
  • Tyrion, by contrast, deals with mockery all the time, and so reacts to it even more instinctively. He fears that anonymous snigger far more than the white walkers
  • Tyrion is a paranoid skeptic, so his first assumption is not that magic is real, nor that Alliser has snapped, but that someone put him up to this to damage Tyrion
  • So he reacts in such a way as to preserve his reputation above all, and in the process narrowly misses the chance to save the world
  • Now, realistically, there’s not that much Tyrion could do; he lacks a real army, and none of the people who have real armies care about his opinion or take the Others seriously (since Melisandre hasn’t told Stannis about them yet)
  • And what makes Tyrion different from Tywin is that he still tries to help out the Night’s Watch in a more limited way, due to his affection for LC Mormont
  • Mormont himself is trying his best; he knows he has to send a nobleman, and he doesn’t know that Tyrion’s in charge. Still, he shouldn’t have sent such an ass!
  • The nasty dynamic between Tyrion and Alliser turns out to affect millions…
  • Tyrion feels a vague affinity for the Watch in the same way he feels a stab of sympathy for Sansa. These are signals that Tyrion has better angels than Tywin or Cersei, but also that he’s burying them at the moment
• Tyrion v. Pycelle
  • That’s how Tyrion uses his power in public; in the final scene of the chapter, we see how he uses it in private, as he follows up on “one, two, three” from Tyrion IV
  • I love how George paces this. We got the threefold gambit in Tyrion IV, we get Cersei responding to the news of Myrcella’s betrothal to Trystane Martell in Tyrion V, and now here in Tyrion VI, Pycelle pays the price for snitching
  • So much of this chapter is about Tyrion fully unleashing his power after steadily building it up in his first five chapters in ACOK
  • It’s one more blow to Cersei’s power, the uprooting of her loyal mole, an ironic reversal of how she through the street preachers into jail earlier in the chapter
  • It’s also a great flipside to the chapter’s opening scene. Tyrion enters with his “pets” this time, and interrupts a sex scene in progress instead of a seduction
  • And Pycelle, of course, doesn’t fit the image Cersei and Lancel were preserving
  • He’s not sexually impressive, and he’s betraying his vows as he has so many times before
  • Pycelle is just the dictionary definition of a rat in this scene, squealing and squirming to get around the obvious truth that he sold out the Hand of the King
  • After so many delicate “thrusts” throughout the chapter, here Tyrion goes for the bone, literally shaving the naked old man as he wrings him dry for information
  • Yet, on reread, it’s striking how little Tyrion actually gains from this interrogation
  • The revelation about Aerys is interesting but doesn’t further any of his goals; Pycelle wasn’t in the inner circle for Robert’s death; he doesn’t know the truth about Jon Arryn
  • You mentioned earlier that Tyrion is ahead of other characters and the readers throughout this chapter, but not here!
  • The revelation that Pycelle and Cersei weren’t directly behind Jon Arryn’s murder feels like George is asking readers to really start wondering at who was truly behind the murder.
  • Remember that Cersei denied the murder back in Eddard XII, but readers dismiss Cersei’s denial. She’s a liar and a Lannister.
  • But now Pycelle adds a degree of credibility to Cersei’s denial from AGOT. 
  • No, they didn’t poison Jon Arryn. All Pycelle did was ensure that Jon Arryn didn’t recover from his poisoning at Cersei’s silent urging.
  • But it’s worth noting that Pycelle isn’t a complete idiot in not asking Cersei what she truly wants -- he, at least, has the wherewithal to know that Varys was listening
  • Whether Pycelle was interpreting Cersei’s signals correctly is sort-of up-in-the-air (I think he was interpreting correctly)
  • And as Tyrion says: Pycelle was the most trustworthy of the three councillors he’s been investigating, and also the least dangerous
  • While I generally lack sympathy for Pycelle, there’s something haunting about how he wretchedly sobs out the name of Lannister as he’s dragged to his cell
  • It’s not even “House Lannister” or “the Lannisters,” it’s Lannister, an idea, a golden standard that Pycelle worships, his ideal of political power, by which he has now been humiliated and betrayed
  • And just as Tyrion’s diagnosis of Renly and Stannis also applied to himself and Cersei, so Pycelle’s history of putting it all on the line for a family that will happily dispose of him reflect how hard Tyrion is working in ACOK to keep in power a family that will never love him back
  • And Tyrion passes that on to Cleos Frey! All just puppets on strings, as he says...

Foreshadowing/Groundwork

The reason why Tyrion knows the I loved a maid as fair as summer with sunlight in her hair song is because Tysha sang that song to Tyrion during their doomed, short-lived marriage.

Lancel’s late-night presence singing to Cersei is another of a set of clues that Tyrion will piece together in determining that Cersei and Lancel are lovers. This will all culminate in our next Tyrion chapter when Tyrion out-and-out reveals that he knows Lancel’s secret and then utilizes that secret to cynically manipulate Lancel into becoming Tyrion’s spy in Cersei’s inner circle.

Those prophets preaching that the Targaryens are the true monarchs suggests that the sparrow movement will end up backing Young Grift

In a deeply ironic and hilarious twist, Cersei will accuse Grand Maester Pycelle of allowing Robert Baratheon and Jon Arryn to die after Pycelle is unable to save Lord Gyles Rosby’s life in AFFC, Cersei IX: Robert was as strong as any man in the Seven Kingdoms, yet you lost him to a boar. Oh, and let us not forget Jon Arryn. No doubt you would have killed Ned Stark as well, if I had let you keep him longer.

One more mention of Tyrion’s great chain! George brings it up in passing, in between matters that get much more attention, so it’s planted in the back of our brains for later but we don’t get too suspicious about what Tyrion might be up to.

Theory/Discussion

How will George follow up Tyrion’s thoughts about the Others here? What role will Tyrion play regarding the army of the dead? Will he consciously think back to this moment? Why did George include it, and what is lost by cutting it from the show?

Tyrion and Alliser as precursor to Tyrion and Marwyn in TWOW

• Marwyn/Tyrion conflict
  • As we’ve theorized in the past, it’s likely that Tyrion and Marwyn will come into conflict in TWOW as they advise Daenerys towards separate COAs
  • On one hand, Marwyn just left Oldtown with Samwell’s confirmation of the return of the Others. He plans to bring word to Dany.
  • On the other hand, Tyrion has vital information about the usurper “Aegon” “Targaryen” who has gone ahead and invaded Westeros without Dany and her dragons
  • So, the idea is that Tyrion and Marwyn will fight over what direction to steer Dany and her invasion of Westeros: north or south.
• How Tyrion might use the story of Alliser Thorne to dismiss Marwyn’s argument about the Others
  • Something that strikes me about this chapter with the full show canon and book 5 written: Tyrion might believe that he remains correct for laughing off Ser Alliser.
    • The end of the world never came, or Tyrion would have known!
  • So, I can imagine a scenario where Tyrion flashes back to this scene from ACOK and uses it to mock Marwyn. Oh, maester, I’ve been hearing ghost stories since I was a child. Even when I was Hand of the King, a Night’s Watchmen came, claiming that the dead were walking. And the end is nigh. Two years ago. Yet here we are. Still breathing. 
  • The tragedy of this scenario is that Marwyn is right. The Long Night is coming. It’s only just taken its time coming south.

Conclusion

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