Episode 49: A GAME OF THRONES, EDDARD XIV: "Doom" SHOW NOTES!

Hello and welcome to the Not A Cast … podcast: the one true chapter-by-chapter podcast going through A Song of Ice and Fire one chapter a week. I’m one of your hosts Jeff better known as BryndenBFish. 

And I’m your other host Emmett, better known as PoorQuentyn. 

Welcome to the forty-ninth episode of the Not A Cast entitled: “Doom: An Analysis of AGOT, Eddard XIV,” in which Ned Stark faces down a smirking blond asshole sitting his stolen throne just like at the end of Robert’s Rebellion...but this time, Dad goes down. Ugh, so painful!

This episode is brought to you by our Small Council: Hand of the King WolfmanZack, Grand Maester Timothy W, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard Mark N. Lord Travis, Master of Ships and Warden of the Waves, Ser Keith J, Master of Whisperers, Lord Philip the Merciful, Master of Laws, Jancy O, Lady Commander of the Night’s Watch and Archmaester June, Healer of the Lesser Poxes, Ragged Michael, Warden of the North, Nelson the Hammer, Prince of Dragonstone and our newest member of the small council: Lord Gene, Master of Coin! Thank you councillors very much!

Spoiler warning: All published books - 5 novels, 3 Dunk and Egg novellas, histories, interviews, TWOW sample chapters, as well as Game of Thrones the TV show. Anything and everything!

So our next episode on Arya IV is going to be a little break from the format--it’s going to be the first episode of the regular podcast that we do live, over on our YouTube channel. It’ll be on February 4 at 8:30 PM EST. Hope to see you there!!

The Dance of the Dragons Regency of Aegon III episode reminder

Question

Note from Ser The Jim That was Promised, a Kingsguard Knight

I’ve notice that you guys use the term “sex worker” to refer to people the books use more pejorative words for.  In that spirit I was wondering if I could get you to consider the terms “birth parents” or “birth mother/father” in place of “real parents”, which are greatly preferred in the adoption community. As the adoptive parent of a child I can tell you that I believe myself to be the real father not the sperm donor who seems to have left his birth mother long before he was born (if he was ever with her at all).  And I can assure you that my son considers my wife his real mother, not the woman who left him at a hospital when he was born.  Thanks for your consideration.  

Snark Knight, a Sworn Sword, asks:

Your Graces,

What is one non-tinfoil hat theory you'd like to send to the Wall?

Synopsis

The hoofbeats of Stranger wake a formerly passed-out Ned Stark from a short, exhausted sleep at his study. Stranger? Yup, Stranger: Sandor Clegane’s horse and of course the aspect of the Seven which represents death. Thank you. I’ll be here all day, week, year, forever.

Ned Stark looks out the window and sees Lannister men at arms riding about the castle practice yard riding down scarecrow soldiers, practicing at swordplay. It’s almost as if they’re training for something. Almost. Ned wonders if this exhibition is for his benefit. Maybe they’re trying to scare him. But Ned Stark is no coward. Beyond that, he knows that Cersei is a goddamn fool. He’d given her chance after chance to GTFO from King’s Landing. But no. She’s still here.

A little while later, a very optimistic and not at all foreshadowing gray, cloudy sky hangs above Ned, Arya, Sansa and Septa Mordane as they eat breakfast. Well, most of them are eating breakfast. Sansa isn’t touching her food. Arya meanwhile is chowing down. She asks Ned if she can conduct one final dance lesson with Syrio Forel, and Ned agrees. But it needs to be short. Everyone must be ready to board a ship bound by noon. 

But wait, Sansa says. If Arya can have a dancing lesson, why won’t Ned let her say farewell to Joffrey? Mordane puts in that she’ll accompany Sansa to see the prince, because she’s the worst (more on that next week in our livecast!) But no. Ya ain’t gonna see Joffrey. It’s not wise. Sorry about that. Sansa tears up and asks why, and Mordane, again because she’s the worst, blithely tells Sansa that her father knows best or some such shit. Sansa, understandably (look at me being so very fair) gets upset and pushes away from the table, crying and heading off to her room. When Mordane says she’ll go follow, Ned very, very, very, very, very sadly says Nah, just let her go. He’ll explain everything when they’re back at … sigh, I’m not gonna cry … Winterfell.

An hour later, Grand Maester Pycelle arrives at the Tower of the Hand with news.

My lord, King Robert is gone. The gods give him rest.

Robert Baratheon, first of his name, King of the Andals, the First Men and the rest of the titles is gone, and with that, we have our second major character death in AGOT. Let’s give Robert, kind of a bad king, kind of a bad friend to Ned, definitely a piece of shit yet ever-compelling a moment of silence.

Alright. No jokes here. I’m genuinely sad as I write this at midnight on Sunday. Ned tells Pycelle that Robert wouldn’t want rest. He prays that the gods give him love, laughter and the joy of righteous battle. Even as Ned says these touching words, he feels empty inside. He wanted to weep, but he couldn’t. He was Hand of the King. Go on do your duty, you can hear Stannis urging from Dragonstone.

Ned summons the small council to his solar at the Tower of the Hand, but Pycelle, Lannister toady, is all like, well let’s just hold on a minute and let things rest until tomorrow when Cersei can be totally ready for you. But no. The small council must be convened now. 

Pycelle sends his servants off to … get the small council (and probably tell Cersei that Ned is moving. Let’s be real). Ser Barristan Selmy is first to arrive, and he’s confused because he’s Barristan but also because his place should be at Joffrey’s side. Ned tells Barristan that his place is here. Littlefinger shows up next, wearing the same clothes he was wearing when he was playing spin the catspaw dagger the night prior.

That little task you set me is accomplished, Littlefinger tells Ned like a motherfucker.

Varys arrives next, all washed up and pretending? Actually? Being sad about Robert’s death. He asks Ned if they should begin. No, we gotta wait for the terrorist Renly first. Ah, yes. About Renly … you see, he kind of, well. He gone. Varys tells Ned that Renly the Coward went deuces on King’s Landing and took Ser Loras Tyrell and an additional fifty men with him, heading south -- perhaps towards Storm’s End, perhaps towards Highgarden.

Ned doesn’t like the sound of that, but whatever. Renly can go play terrorist in the south. He’s got work to do. He draws the letter out from his pocket.

The king called me to his side last night and commanded me to record his final words. Lord Renly and Grand Maester Pycelle stood witness as Robert sealed the letter, to be opened by the council after his death.

He asks Barristan to read the letter, and Ser Grandfather reads that Ned Stark is Protector of the Realm and he’s to rule until his heir comes of age. Ned gets all clever and thinks And as it happens, he is of age. Guys, he’s talking about Stannis. But he’s not about to say as much in front of Varys, Pycelle or Barristan. They don’t know the truth about Cersei’s children. I guess 1 outta 3 ain’t bad, Ned, ‘cause Varys and probably Pycelle know. Barristan doesn’t, because he’s Barristan. 

Eddard is obviously uncomfortable at the deceit that he’s performing, but he knows he has to play this game until he established himself as regent, until Stannis showed up in King’s Landing with all his power. He asks the council to confirm him as Lord Protector of the realm, wondering about what each of the counsellors was thinking, but then Fat Tom opens the door.

Pardon, my lords, the king’s steward insists …

In walks the royal steward, announcing that Joffrey has demanded all of the small council to come to the throne room. Okay, look, I’ve read these books Lord knows how many times now, and I’ve read this chapter in preparation for this podcast 5 times before writing this, and I am tense as a goddamn bow string. And I know what happens next! Man, that’s really the power of ASOIAF and Martin as a writer.

Well, Ned knew that Cersei would strike soon. So, he says, yeah sure. They’ll go. But they’re not going alone. Ned tells Fat Tom to get an armed escort to accompany them. 

Littlefinger offers Ned his arm to help Ned down the stairs which is … yeah, it’s great foundation for what’s about to occur. At the base of the tower of the Hand, an escort of eight of Ned’s men with gray cloaks snapping in the wind await. Fortunately, there’s no Lannister red cloaks about, but Ned is reassured to see all of the goldcloaks about as they cross the castle courtyard. Mmm, gut punch.

At the door to the throne room, Ser Janos Slynt, a frog-faced motherfucker who Jon Snow will behead in ADWD, meets Ned. He’s all armored up. Janos’ men push the door open, and in the men go. 

All hail His Grace, Joffrey of the Houses Baratheon and Lannister, the First of his Name, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, the royal steward sings out.

Ned and his entourage make the long walk to the boy king high atop the Iron Throne. All the while, Littlefinger continues offering Ned his arm, probably thinking about how it’s the fucking tits that helping carry Ned to his doom. As they continue on, Ned remembers the first time he was in the throne room at the near-end of Robert’s Rebellion. He had been on horseback, sword in hand as Jaime Lannister sat the Iron Throne with the dragon skulls staring down at them. He sure hoped Joffrey would step aside as easily as Jaime did.

Five of the seven knights of the Kingsguard stand in crescent defense formation around the Iron Throne in full armor from head to toe. Cersei, Tommen and Myrcella stand behind Ser Boros and Ser Meryn. And the Queen Mother is looking super fucking regal today. A green gown trimmed with pale Myrish lace drapes across her body while a gold ring with an emerald the size of a pigeon’s egg rounds her finger. And atop her head: a tiara. All the while Joff sits high atop the throne with Sandor Clegane at the base of throne and twenty red cloaks behind the throne. But not to fear: 100 Goldcloaks are arrayed around the exterior of the throne room, holding eight foot long spears. Give George this: he can really block a scene well.

When Ned and his entourage finally stop, his leg is a blaze. And, of course, he’s still holding onto Littlefinger for support. Joffrey rises from the throne. 

I command the council to make all the necessary arrangements for my coronation. I wish to be crowned within the fortnight. Today, I shall accept oaths of fealty from my loyal councillors.

Not just no, but fuck no, Ned implies as he orders Varys to hand Cersei Robert’s letter. Cersei reads the words, scoffing at Ned’s appointed role as Protector of the Realm.

Is that meant to be your shield, my lord? A piece of paper?

She then proceeds to rip the letter into half and then into quarters before letting the pieces of the letter sail to the ground. Let no one accuse Cersei or any of the other Lannisters of not being super dramatic when the moment calls. 

Barristan is shocked and goes all Barristan about this being the king’s words, but Cersei ain’t about that. We have a new king now. She reminds Ned that he had counseled her when they last spoke, and Cersei, ever the salesman, has some counsel for Ned.

Bend the knee, my lord. Bend the knee and swear fealty to my son, and we shall allow you to step down as Hand and live out your days in the grey waste you call home.

No, u, Ned doesn’t quite say. No, I should really give Ned some justice and do this paragraph in full, because it’s really the last bit of justice Ned’s going to get.

“Would that I could,” Ned said grimly. If she was so determined to force the issue here and now, she left him no choice. “Your son has no claim to the throne he sits. Lord Stannis is Robert’s true heir.”

Liar! Joffrey screams like a coward while Myrcella asks what Ned means. And boy oh boy wouldn’t it have been nice if Ned had explained a bit more what he means here, right? We’ll get to that. Anyhow, Cersei tells Ned that he condemns himself, and then she orders Barristan to take Ned prisoner as a traitor. But Barristan hesitates, because, again, he’s Barristan. And that guy has a real hard time making decisions in the best of circumstances. Ned’s men surround Barristan with swords in hand before he can do anything all the same.

“And now the treason moves from words to deeds,” Cersei says. “Do you think Ser Barristan stands alone, my lord?”

All at once, Sandor Clegane, the red cloaks and Kingsguard draw their swords as Joffrey screams orders to kill Ned and his men. Ned regards this cooly.

“You leave me no choice.” He called out to Janos Slynt. “Commander, take the queen and her children into custody. Do them no harm, but escore them back to the royal apartments and keep them there under guard.”

Janos Slynt, who will die like a coward in ADWD, puts his helmet on and orders the goldcloaks into action. The goldcloaks lower their spears and starting closing. Ned starts to tell Janos that he doesn’t want bloodshed, and that no one needs to die. 

And then everyone starts dying. 

A goldcloak shoves his spear into Fat Tom’s back. He’s dead before he even hits the ground. Ned begins shouting. Janos Slynt, that frog-faced asshole, murders another of Ned’s guardsman named Varly. Ned’s best man Cayn whirls about swinging his sword, driving back a goldcloak. And then the Hound is there. Sandor Clegane first sword thrust cuts Cayn’s sword hand off. His second opens Cayn from shoulder to breastbone.

Ned’s men are dying all around him, and I’m fucking pissed already even before Littlefinger does his shittery. Emmett’s going to need to talk me down from feeling this hot about a chapter I’ve know was coming for a year and one I’ve read dozens of times now. But, great or small, I must do my duty. So, I’ll read to the end.

As his men died around him, Littlefinger slide Ned’s dagger from its sheath, and shoved it up under his chin. His smile was apologetic. “I did warn you not to trust me, you know,” Littlefinger says holding his first knife to Ned’s child while his other, much smaller dagger pokes Ned in his hamstrings (He’s a short, small man after all).

And that is, my god, is AGOT, Eddard XIV. Just a masterful culmination of Ned Stark’s entire arc in King’s Landing. Yes. We’ll get one more Ned chapter, and we’ll see Ned one final time after that in Arya’s final AGOT chapter, but this and Ned’s execution are the denouement that defines the cultural zeitgeist since it aired on Game of Thrones in 2011 and was published in AGOT back in 1996. 

My hands tremble to ask, but what did you think about this chapter, Emmett?

Depth

Twenty episodes ago, we called Catelyn V (the chapter in which she snatches Tyrion) the first act break of AGOT, and now we have arrived at the second. Nothing is the same ever again after Eddard XIV. Every storyline ramps up in its wake, and you can tell GRRM considers this a climactic moment because this chapter begins a run in which all eight POVs in the book get a chapter in a row--Eddard XIV, Arya IV, Sansa IV, Jon VII, Bran VI, Daenerys VI, Catelyn VIII, and Tyrion VII, everyone present and accounted for. This is the downfall that’s been coming for Ned Stark ever since he accepted the Hand position with dread as his dead relatives looked on, and we’re still feeling the ripple effects of this doom into ADWD. Welcome to the War of Five Kings, because this is really where it starts. 

• Bad signs
  • Throughout the chapter, GRRM drops the hints that this is all going to go wrong
  • It starts with Sandor’s “brave show” outside in defiance of Ned’s mercy
  • Gray, overcast sky. GRRM, the alleged trope-smasher, is playing it straight with the weather reflecting scene tone and plot mood.
  • It continues with the news that Renly has fled the city along with Loras Tyrell
  • It ramps up with Joffrey’s summons
  • All of this is designed to establish sickening dread in the back of your throat even while the source of the doom (Littlefinger and the gold cloaks) stays a surprise
• Absent friends...
  • Pour one out for Robert Baratheon, First of His Name, as Ned gives a tearful eulogy:
    • “He hated rest. The gods give him love and laughter, and the joy of righteous battle.”
  • That sums it up right there: as much as you instinctively desire peace for the dead, peace is what rotted Robert away from the inside out
  • It’s a bittersweet farewell to the song that Robert loved better than the work of being a king and a grown man
  • And that fits this chapter, the ultimate disillusionment
• ...and false friends
  • The councillors arrive with fussy words, polite deferrals, overplayed grief, and outright lies--as per usual, amirite
  • Give Ned credit: he realizes he shouldn’t trust Varys, Pycelle, or even Barristan. If only that doubt extended to Littlefinger! 
    • Again, on Varys, you do kind of wonder whether Varys’ sorrow is genuine. Maybe similar to how Illyrio is allegedly so very sad when he hears that Viserys died:
      
      "Magister Illyrio has protected me in the past. Strong Belwas says that he wept when he heard my brother was dead."
      
      "Yes," said Mormont, "but did he weep for Viserys, or for the plans he had made with him?" (ASOS, Daenerys I)
    • Robert dying, much as Viserys dying, ruins the plans Illyrio and Viserys had for both men.
  • Once again, it’s established that Ned actually does have a plan: hold the castle under the authority of Regent until Stannis can arrive to take the throne outright
  • And it’s a plan that involves deceit and hardnosed politics, indicating that Ned is not naive, but rather insistent on preserving mercy even as he prepares for war
  • Before the meeting is cut off by the unnamed king’s steward, we get this great passage that perfectly sums up the small council:
    • “I would ask this council to confirm me as Lord Protector, as Robert wished,” Ned said, watching their faces, wondering what thoughts hid behind Pycelle’s half-closed eyes, Littlefinger’s lazy half-smile, and the nervous flutter of Varys’s fingers.
• The gauntlet
  • Finally, Ned is summoned to the throne room, and GRRM lingers long on the buildup to establish the tension and gravitas
  • Once more, Ned is reliving Robert’s Rebellion, as Joffrey on the Throne in Robert’s wake blurs into Jaime on the Throne in Aerys’ wake
  • Then, the Rebellion was (in Ned’s eyes) tainted forever by the Lannisters; now, it has been outright hijacked by them
  • Ned is confronting not only Joffrey, but all of his demons, waiting for him
  • The Kingsguard are here, just as they were at the Tower of Joy
  • Note that Joffrey has fifty lions and fifty stags on his cape, and 50 + 50 = 100...the number of gold cloaks in the room
  • He goes right for coronation and loyalty oaths, clearly having been coached by Cersei to forego any Regency on Ned’s part
  • Ned tries to leverage Barry’s honor and rep, but all the white knight does is look shocked and then hesitate
    • Important secondary (at the time) character building for Barristan. When Barristan becomes a primary character in ADWD, GRRM marvelously expounds on Barristan’s character contrasting his chivalry with the Stood. Saw. And Did Nothing motif on Aerys, and in this case, on what he should do when the Queen proclaims one king and the Hand another.
  • It’s so fitting and sad that Ned’s last words before the spears drive home is commanding that there be no bloodshed
  • But once more, his men die around him at the ends of Lannister swords
  • At this moment, the audience just feels this huge deflation as we realize it all fell apart and we’re left with no moorings
  • That’s what makes us cling so desperately to Robb when we see him next, mustering an army in response. Save us, Young Wolf! You’re our only hope!!

Foreshadowing/Groundwork

Renly fleeing with Loras of course sets up him crowning himself at Highgarden, which he’ll do as the book ends, the little terrorist. 

A martyr for Stannis going down in the throne room as Joff screams down? Gee, that sounds exactly like what happens after the Blackwater in ACOK Sansa VIII! 

The so-called concept of a “Paper shield” is one that gets repeated in Jon’s ADWD chapters where Maester Aemon drafts a letter to Tommen stating:

“The Night’s Watch takes no part in the wars of the Seven Kingdoms. Our oaths are sworn to the realm, and the realm now stands in dire peril. Stannis Baratheon aids us against our foes from beyond the Wall, though we are not his men …”

Sam squirmed in his seat. “Well, we’re not. Are we?” (ADWD, Jon II)

Though writing, signing and sealing this letter angers Jon, he signs it anyways after Samwell points out that a paper shield is better than no shield at all. Adam Feldman wrote a great piece about Jon and Stannis on his Meereenese Blot that you all should check out to read more about Jon’s paper shield and how effective it is in ADWD.

Tyrion relies on his own “paper shield” from Tywin in ACOK, and Davos does the same with the letter from the Night’s Watch in ASOS. Both succeed (in the moment, anyway), and they do so for reasons other than overwhelming application of force. The takeaway from Ned’s downfall, therefore, should not be a support for crude Machiavellianism, but rather an understanding that power can take many forms depending on the context, and each context will require a different way of mastering that power. 

Theory/Discussion

Why didn't Ned Stark proclaim Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella bastards born of incest?

Conclusion

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