Progress Report #Octobor

Hello world! It's KS~

This is my progress report for New Horizon 0.2.

Render: 60% (Including the remaster of 0.1.5)

Script: 100%

Code: 40%

UI: 70%

Music & SFX: 100%

Animation: 70%

Translation: 50%

I finished The remaster of old renders from 0.1.5, and have been making maps and scenes for the upcoming 0.2. I underestimated how much time and effort it takes to make these visuals. But they look so fucking good so I'm gonna say it's worth it.

I've also been modifying and adding in stuff for the script. I've got tons of ideas everyday and it's just so difficult to organize them, I'm trying my best. I'm pretty happy with the world settings and overall background of the story now, It's such a huge improvement over the old version. You probably don't know but when I was first writing the story for 0.1 and 0.1.5, I really didn't think too much, and so there was honestly not much depth to the whole story. You won't know because it's still in the very early stage

I've also picked up a few shot framing techniques here and there and tried to improve the visuals even more (because frankly, it's the only thing I'm good at anyway :P).

I feel like I'm reaching the limits of HS2 engine and there are so many things and ideas I wanna to do that are just not possible with HS2 and StudioNeo. For example, realistic hair physics, better lighting, custom maps and assets etc just to name a few. That's why I'm gonna slowly get into Blender and UE and some other proper 3D software, and Utilize AI tools here and there. I've just got so many ideas but is limited by HS2 and my abilities as of right now. I know I've improved a lot when it comes to HS2 renders since Jan. this year, but I think I can do even better.

So yeah, many ideas, many plans and many things to do. I just hope there is more time to work on all these things.

The past few months haven't been great. It was not the end of the world, I'm already better than a lot of people in the world with a roof over my head and basic needs fulfilled, I know that. But we're all an individual that is going through a journey of our own. No two are the exact same. We all faces different challenges and it's impossible to compare. 

Whatever happened, it's all water under the bridge now. I'll reset everything, and it's a new beginning.
I've been through a period of my lowest point in my life, trying to find out what was wrong with me. I've gone through many self-help and productivity methods, and most of them didn't work.
But ultimately, I've slowly gotten to know more about myself, and my problems. Trust me, most people think they know most about themselves, but they really don't. That includes me.
Sometimes, when you're helplessly lost, you can never see clearly of what's going on. You need something, or someone to slap you hard in the face and bring you back to your senses and into reality again.
Because life is a never ending journey of getting lost and finding your bearings over and over again. You're not gonna get it together from day one.
You thought you've got it all figured out, but a simple little setback will make you humble. But it's okay, because we're all lost souls, trying to find our ways. You're not alone.
The point is to pull yourself back together eventually, with your iron will or helps from friends and family. 

I wanna thank all of you who sent me messages even though I didn't reply immediately. In some ways, they encourage me.
A tiny little message of encouragement really helps. So if you see someone struggling, please shoot them a message, it could be as simple as just a "hi, how are you?". The worst kind of feeling is feeling alone in a crowd.

I  realized I put too much pressure onto myself. I'm trying too hard to make the update come out faster than it should, neglecting my health and so many other important things in my life. I was shaming myself for not being able to work faster and I felt like I'm a let down. It was a toxic loop.

Deep down I know that  "good things takes time", but I just couldn't help it because I wanted to make it good. Eventually, I had to step away for a bit, and disconnect.
Now, I just wanna adhere to the idea of "don't go as fast as you can't." I will take as much time needed to make it. I don't care if it takes a year to make it. I will make it good. (ofc it's not gonna take that long, but you get the idea)

I think Casey Neistat's video "Creative Poison" illustrated the situations of people with ADHD or ADD really well. We're constantly going through a cycle of burning out and creative outburst. Many people view it as problem, or illness, but to some, and Casey, it's really a kind of super power. We have this hyper focus period that can get things done fast and well in a short amount of time(and get burned out after that lmao) and we're always coming up with ideas. The thing is, these thing will stay with us for a lifetime. So rather than letting it destroy me, I'm now learning to utilize its "super power" part of the trait to help me with tasks. 

Yeah, I'm in my mid 20s, and still lost. Some of my classmates from school in the past has already made millions. But they're not me, and I'm not them. I sure as hell don't need to be like everyone else. I don't need to make a ton of money or be "successful" to prove my own worth. I know it best what I want in life, and nobody will ever help me get to it. I will have to be the one to get to it, because it's my life and I'm the one steering the ship. I'm not giving up, and l know eventually I will find my footing. If I don't even try, I will never find it.

So to anyone out there, who might be reading this message. If you're just as lost as I am, don't worry. Life always happens at the moment you least expect it. So keep fighting, because I'm also fighting alongside you.

Sincerely, KawaiiSukebe