Nefarious Nine (Ch.1) : Everyone Hates Lucille

A new story revolving around no less than nine villains from the 90s show Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman who fell foul of the hero and now attempt an escape to get their own back on him. And, for some, even more than that...

I included a picture above of each of the nine for those who've never seen the show or those who don't remember the more obscure bad guys therein. Hopefully it'll make the narrative a little easier to follow for those who want to read it. There's a bit of set-up in the first chapter, but the bickering Newtrich sisters are very much at the centre of the story.

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Metropolis Prison:

"I was right all those years ago," started Nell. "I hoped that I wouldn't end up in the same cell as you."

"And yet here you are, still stuck with me," said her sister Lucille while staring at her own reflection in the mirror. "I also remember you issued that line as a veiled threat, but you haven't remotely followed up on it. Ten solid years stuck in this concrete hellhole and you've never even as much as lifted your hand once to me, proving again that you're all talk. I was always the assertive one, though, and you, the mousey one."

"You weren't very assertive when you delayed that time, allowing Superman and Lois Lane to depower you," Nell snapped back.

"How many times are you going to bring that particular day up?" groaned Lucille. "Nobody regrets that moment more than me. I had the power of Superman himself coursing through me, and then, poof! Regular, miserable, weak human again."

"I bring it up over and over because it's the reason we're here in the first place," explained Nell. "If not for your error, we would've gotten away with all of that money and no one would've been able to stop us!"

"Me. They wouldn't have been able to stop me," Lucille corrected her. "That's why I gave you a chance to shoot that oversized boy scout but you also hesitated, or did you conveniently forget that? If you'd pulled the trigger faster, Superman would've been a goner and I'd have kept his powers. As I told you then, no prison on Earth could've held me, yet now every prison can hold me."

She looked in the mirror again and lamented the growing wrinkles on her face, and the bags under her eyes.

"It isn't just that I lost those powers a decade ago, I'm also losing my looks."

"I know, mine are also fading fast."

"Oh Nell, you never had any looks. I was always the face of this operation."

"And I was always the brains. If it wasn't for my invention, you'd have never have gotten Superman's power to begin with."

"It was an accident, Nell, as far as I recall. You took red kryptonite from our brother's stash, built that fake camera, pointed it at that big blue and red menace and thought it would make him docile enough that we could just loot the city. Instead, it passed his abilities to that insufferable Lois Lane first, before then I showed the initiative to try take them for myself."

"Initiative? I wanted them first!"

"No, Nell. You weren't fit for that kind of strength. You're too small and wiry. You wouldn't even know what to do with those powers if you got them."

"Well, if only you hadn't thrown my invention into the sky, we could've tried it again!"

"Again?" asked a curious Lucille, turning from the mirror to face her sister. "But we don't have anymore red kryptonite."

"I know, that's a problem. But maybe there's some other way?"

"You've been mulling over 'another way' for years now. I think you might need to outsource your ideas instead."

Nell slowly drew herself up from the bottom bunk then and scratched her head.

"That's a good idea, Lucille. For once."

"What do you mean?" she replied, trying to apply some lipstick she'd smuggled into prison in order to cover over the cracks on her lips.

"This wing of the prison is for supervillains, or those who've gone head-to-head with Superman and come off second-best, right?"

"Of course," Lucille responded before walking over to the barred-up window looking out onto the corridor. She could see a long line of similar windows down the way, knowing full well that each corresponding cell also contained a nefarious ex-supercriminal like they. "It's practically a rogue gallery of dangerous, power-hungry misfits now," she continued. "Superman dumps us in here and then we're forgotten about. We've all grown old and pathetic, though."

"But it's like you said," added Nell. "What if we ask them for help, too? There must be evil geniuses littering the place, and mad scientists eager to get back at him who are just a door or two away. If we pool our talents together, who knows, maybe we can collectively get ourselves out of here?"

"I'm not sure they're anymore fit to overpower the guards and flee than we are now. A few years ago maybe, but we've lost a lot of time..."

However, Nell's eyes lit up again. "What about the crazy one?"

"They're all crazy on this block, Nell."

"No, I mean the really crazy one. With the jumped-up hair and mad look in her eye. Dr. Vita I think she's called? I heard that she actually found a way to drain youth from other people. She even did it to Superman. If she is still willing and able maybe we could put the parts together here, allowing her to build another one of her machines, and giving us back the years we've lost?"

Lucille snapped her mirror shut, got up, and then grabbed her sister by her prison jumpsuit, drawing Nell closer.

"Are you saying that there's a way to return me to my prime? Make me youthful again?"

"Y-Yes?"

"OK, now you have me interested," replied Lucille, a smirk creeping up her increasingly wizened face. "But who else could we recruit?" she wondered, returning to the window again. "How about that ex-wife of Lex Luthor, Madame Ex aka Arianne Carlin? I like her style -and I'm not just talking about her fashion sense! She's a jealous nut. Do you know she occupies a cell with a blonde double of Lois Lane? She actually physically altered someone as lowdown as she is into looking like one of her mortal enemies in order to bring them down. How can one not admire that level of insane pettiness?"

"Well, blonde now or not, a double of Lois Lane might prove useful if we're going to try lure in Superman. He seems to have a thing for her," revealed Nell.

"Yes, but we need to get out of here first and worry about that -the real fun- later. Even if we get our vitality back, we'll still need some muscle to overpower the guards in this block alone."

"What about those three musclebound female bodyguards? The real Lois Lane humiliated them, too. God knows, they haven't gotten any smaller since they came in here. They're always hitting the weights.

"The Henchbabes? No, Nell. I don't want those three to get out."

"Why not? Because they're always picking on you?"

"It's because they hate me."

"I'm pretty sure everyone hates you, Lucille."

"That's not true, Nell, and when I get out of here I'll make sure everyone loves me!"

"But until then, what about our so-called muscle?"

Lucille thought for a moment.

"How about that former secret agent? Remember she was part of that now defunct government agency, the NIN or something?"

"Oh, that's the unfortunately named 'Sweet Tart'."

"That's the one! I'm sure she has the skills we need to kick and punch a few guards out of the way when the time come, and I also suspect she'd love to get out of here, too, if given the chance."

"She's still just one person, though. We might get out of this block, but not the whole prison. The alarms will even go off the minute we make any progress."

"How about that other doctor, huh? The one who was caught trying to control other people's brains? As long as you're building devices, maybe you can help her build one? If we could even temporarily control the guards' minds, we wouldn't have to fight the whole prison."

"Dr. Walker? I'll ask her tomorrow. We can ask all of them, but we need to keep this very discreet," explained Nell.

And so, the next day, the next week, and the next month, they all met up and figured out a way to work together and escape. A group of backstabbing vipers putting their differences and personal ambitions (for now) aside to achieve the goal of regaining the years they'd lost in prison, their freedom, and their revenge on Superman.

"...and me getting my powers back!" added Lucille, out of turn.

All of the others who sat at the table in the prison yard stopped and stared at her. Her sister Nell, Madame Ex, the imposter Lois, Drs Vita and Walker, as well as Sweet Tart who remained uninterested in all of their endless technobabble.

"Why should you get that awesome power?" asked Sweet, standing up and folding her arms.

"Because it was mine before," replied Lucille, "Therefore I have first dibs."

"I had first dibs years ago and it still didn't matter?"

"Quiet, Nell. The adults are having a conversation here."

"So are we really doing all of this just so you can become a super-powered maniac?" Sweet continued.

"Listen, you're just the muscle here. So stand there and look menacing, and so forth."

Sadly it didn't seem to work as the aforementioned three Henchbabes came over to the table after their daily workout, and started to pick on Lucille and the others.

"What are you little girls always discussing? We see you every day out here chatting amongst yourselves, and then you work away in your cells alone. What's going on?"

Nobody replied, so the three picked Lucille up and slowly brought her over to the industrial prison trash bins at the end of the yard and gently threw her in before walking off laughing to themselves and patting each other on the back. It wasn't long, however, until Lucille made a re-appearance as she pulled back open the lid.

"Fat lot of good you are!" she snapped at Sweet who just smiled and sat on the edge of the table as the others got back to discussing more important things.

A problem arose, however, when they realized that while Dr. Walker's new and portal brain controlling device seemingly worked, it's range was pitiful due to the flimsy, scavenged parts. By the time it worked it's magic, they'd be subdued by the guards.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But previously I used everything from genetics to serums to control minds, so we're having to build something new with whatever bits and pieces we can find, but I don't have the knowledge let alone tech at hand to broadcast the signal at a wider range over the entire complex."

"I sympathize," added Dr. Vita. "You asked me to build another youth-stealing machine, but without radium I don't have the mineral, the conduit to make it function."

"I think we can help you with that," said another, newer voice to the party. It was a brace of women, former enemies of Superman, too. They were cellmates and had surmised what the others had been up to, listening and watching them closely.

"You're Simone, right?" said Lucille. "You got caught using that giant, destructive transmitter to blackmail entire countries into giving you a lot of money?"

"Yes," replied Simone. "It, of course, failed as a scheme because of -wouldn't you know it- Superman. I have a score to settle with him, too. But I understand you need a transmitter for Dr. Walker's device? Well, I have one for years now that I secretly use to broadcast messages out of my cell. I can recycle it and add it to her work."

"Great!" declared Lucille. "But what about you?" she said to the other, older woman.

"I'm Diane Stride. Once upon a time I was a reporter, but more importantly a brilliant assassin. Thanks to Big Blue, my life was ruined. I hear Dr. Vita needs radium? Well, I've occasionally worked in the prison hospital and they have an old industrial x-ray machine. They used to have radium in those. I can break in and tear it out safely for you."

"If you do that," replied Vita, "We can get all those years back and this scheme can finally start!"

"There's something else I can offer, too," Diane continued.

"And what's that?"

"The true identity of Superman. It's something I have kept to myself for years now, waiting and hoping to use it at the most opportune time. I think it's arrived."

"That's incredible," said Nell. "Who is he?"

"Clark Kent, of course."

"Ah, it all makes sense," said Madame Ex. "All those years he tormented my husband as a superhero, but also as a journalist..."

"It also makes sense because Lois Lane and he are so close," said the other, evil Lois. "They were always together."

"Well," started Lucille, beaming. "This does make things more exciting, but also easier if we get out of here. Are you ready to get revenge on those meddling pair?" she asked of the imposter.

"With pleasure," the Lois doppleganger replied, sweeping back her blonde hair.

And so the gang, this Nefarious Nine, was born, and when the day finally arrived and everything was set, they made their escape. First, with the help of Simone, the signal from Dr. Walker's device was able to be projected across the prison to disable the guards via their personal radios, leaving everyone else unaffected. There'd be no alerts, no alarm bells, no calls to the greater police, and most importantly, no Superman. Not yet.

The nine women were already out of their cells as it was morning and immediately took advantage of the guards almost catatonic-like state. It was only temporary, of course, yet for the short span that the device was operating they were being programmed to sleepwalk, allowing the others to steal their keys and work their way out of the block. However, as they did so, they were confronted by the Henchbabes again.

"I knew you bozos were up to something!" the leader said. "Well, you're not going anywhere. If we keep you here we'll likely be rewarded with early release."

"Or you could just come with us?" suggested Simone.

"Come with you? We wouldn't get five miles before being re-arrested and then issued an even longer sentence. No, better to keep you assholes here."

"I thought you beefed-up idiots might think like that," said Lucille. "Dr. Vita, let's take out the real garbage!"

With that, Vita appeared with her new device and pointed it at the three. When she pressed the central button a great orange light burst forth and enveloped the ex-bodyguards. They were confused at first, then began to panic, noticing that they were beginning to age at a rapid pace after being some of the youngest and certainly most physically robust in the prison. When the ordeal was over, all three were much smaller, had gone grey, and become quite old. They fell to their knees and could only look up at a smiling Lucille.

"Not so tough now, eh?" she gloated. "Doctor, why not give me some of their youth?!"

Vita wasted no time and reversed the polarity of her device and hit Lucille with it. She began to cackle as she could feel herself getting younger and younger until finally she was back to her prime.

"I-I'm young again, Nell," she said, feeling for the now non-existent wrinkles and bags on her face. They were gone. In fact, she had never felt better. Well, not as a regular woman anyway.

"Me next!" said Nell, with Dr. Vita also giving her a shot of youth as well. Next, Dr. Walker asked for some, and Vita dutifully delivered again. Then it was Simone's turn, with the evil doctor distributing the years of the three Henchbabes out to everyone. Everyone accept the double of Lois as she might need to look the same age as her counterpart when they possibly enacted the next part of their plan. When the device ran low, they just used it on the odd prison guard instead. They didn't bleed them dry, just a few years here, a few years there. Madame Ex was also returned to her former glory. Then Sweet Tart. And, of course, last but not least, Vita herself.

"I'm the oldest I think, and the worst looking at this stage, so I need a lot!" she joked, turning the device then on herself and pressing go! The result was startling as she returned to her late 20s.

"Amazing," whispered Lucille, placing her foot on the leader of the ailing Henchbabes below and getting a little of her own back.

"Amazing, maybe," said Dr. Walker, "But we've delayed here too long! It's shorting out, and the prison guards will be waking up!"

She slapped the side of the device then and threw it to the floor. They were almost at the exit, and just beyond that were the gates. They had gotten this far and weren't going to fail now -or were they?

A prison guard grabbed Lucille's arm and tried to pull her back, but much to her own surprise she now had just enough strength to pull him off. It was the same with the others. They indeed felt youthful and a little stronger now, but it took Sweet and Diane Stride to fight off the last of them and open up a path through to the gates where the rejuvenated nine jailbirds finally made their flight, commandeering a prison van to aid their getaway.

Lucille laughed heartedly once more.

"It worked. It actually worked!" she cheered. "Well, I mean of course it did. It was all my idea."

"Actually it was my-"

"Shut up, Nell. Don't ruin the moment," Lucille quickly interrupted.

"So, what now?" asked Sweet.

"Well, we got all those wasted years back. All those years they took from us when they put us inside. And then, we took back our freedom when we broke out. So, the obvious next step is, indeed, to get back at the ones that put us in there...namely Lois Lane and Clark Kent, or should I say Superman?"

Sweet smiled and put her foot down, speeding them towards the outskirts of Metropolis and towards a more promising -and powerful- destiny than any of them could've imagined.

(To be Continued...)