76 - Wasted

“Yo, Ness! You there?”

Vanessa blinked and looked up at Kat after missing her mouth with her fork for the fifth time that meal. She had been half in a daze ever since her conversation with Bella. She had imagined many possibilities, but hearing the truth directly from Bella herself was something else entirely. 

Bella hadn’t gone into much detail on her situation, but Vanessa was nothing if not imaginative. She couldn’t really put herself in Bella’s shoes, but she could still think about what it must be like for her friend, and what she might have had to go through. 50,000 years, and all the different lives that she had lived in that time… Vanessa was devastated by the loss of just her uncle. She couldn’t even begin to comprehend what Bella had gone through.

“Yeah, I’m here,” she said, finally replying to Kat.

“What’s up with you today? Still can’t believe we won?”

“No, it’s not that…” Vanessa trailed off. She couldn’t exactly tell Kat what was on her mind.

“Well, whatever it is, stop worrying about it! We’re celebrating today! Party in my room! I found a place that sells some good booze and bought a few bottles a while back. Jacob, Jenny, and Al are coming. Bella ignored me when I asked her though… Anyway, you’re coming. You don’t have a choice.”

“Okay,” said Vanessa.

Kat went back to her conversation with the others, and Vanessa went back to thinking about her own situation. On top of being in shock, she was also filled with hope since her conversation with Bella. She had gone into the conversation fully expecting Bella to outright reject her with no hope of Vanessa joining, but instead, she had actually given her a chance.

“Prove that you’ll make it all the way,” Bella’s words echoed in her head.

Vanessa wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that, but she did know one thing: it proved that Bella was open to the idea. From someone else, it might have been a way to pretend to keep the door shut while giving the illusion of opportunity, but Vanessa knew Bella well enough to know it was the opposite. Bella didn’t want anyone to come with her. She wanted to go alone, not forming any strong bonds. She was afraid of attachment. But at the same time, subconsciously, she desperately wanted it. A connection that would last, and wouldn’t fade with time. Her offer wasn’t a way to politely reject Vanessa. It was giving herself a chance at change. 

She had told Vanessa that she didn’t know what it would look like for Vanessa to prove she would make it, and Vanessa believed she was being truthful. She had no idea what she was looking for. That made things difficult, but it also filled Vanessa with resolve. If Bella didn’t know what she was looking for, Vanessa would just have to become that thing.

Back when her uncle died, Vanessa was lost. With no family, and no friends, she wondered why she was even alive. She had goals, but were they even worth pursuing? At that time when she was sinking into despair, Bella had been there. She didn’t do much, but she was a solid, reliable presence that gave her just enough help to get herself back on her feet. Bella had been her lifeline when she felt lost and lonely. Now she had the opportunity to be the same for Bella.

Suddenly, she springs to her feet, setting her silverware down on her plate. The rest of the group looked at her in confusion. 

“I need to go,” she said.

Without explaining any further, she ran to her room to grab a few things, then ran out of the dorm. Her hurry earned her a few tails from among the informants that liked to hang around the dorms, but she ignored them as she ran toward the administration building where Organa resided. 

When she reached Organa’s office, the door was locked, but it opened shortly after she knocked. Organa was not alone. There was another celestial with her, though one much younger, and one that Vanessa recognized. It was Auriel Hatep, the Hatep family’s latest prodigy, and one of the highest ranked people on the entire Floor. Vanessa had met her once before when Organa tried to recruit her the first time and brought in Auriel to demonstrate a few of the things Vanessa could learn to do as well. The two Climbers nodded to each other in recognition as Organa opened the door wide and smiled.

“Vanessa!” she said warmly. “Come in!”

Vanessa walked in and sat down in a chair next to Auriel, glancing at the other girl hesitantly. She had come to see Organa with a plan, but hadn’t expected to have an audience. Could she still go through with it? Should she ask Auriel to leave? No, there was no point. It wasn’t like what she was going to say was a secret.

“How can I help?” asked Organa.

“I told Bella about the offer you gave me,” said Vanessa with as much confidence as she could muster.

“What did she say?” asked Organa, unphased.

“She said it was a good opportunity,” said Vanessa.

“She’s got good insight.”

“I also told her that you only offered it to me because you want to try to get to her through me.”

Organa’s brow twitched.

“And why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true. I know I’ve got some talent, but I also heard some things about you. You’re too important and I’m not quite good enough for you to be personally going through so much effort. You’re only doing this because you thought Bella would turn you down.”

Organa’s smile remained, but Vanessa swore she felt the temperature in the room dropping. When the other woman spoke again, her voice had lost all its warmth.

“Does that mean you are here to reject my offer?”

“No,” said Vanessa.

“No?”

“No, I’m not rejecting it,” said Vanessa. “Actually, I’m here to accept it. But I’m also here to tell you that I’m going to accept sponsorship for myself. Not for the opportunity to get closer to Bella. I am going to reach the top of the Tower, and this is an investment in me, not her. If you want to try to get to her through me, be my guest, but I’m not going to help you. I am going to focus on my own goals and my own Climb, and if I suspect you’re trying something sneaky, I’m going to let her know.”

“I see,” said Organa, her smile finally fading.

Vanessa clenched her fists as she waited for Organa to speak again. She had boldly declared that she would accept the sponsorship offer, but what if Organa rescinded it? What if she had just ruined her relationship with the Hateps forever? Had she just made an enemy? What if she accepted, and they tried forcing her to do things she didn’t want to do?

“Well,” said Organa. “Welcome to the Hatep family!” All at once, her smile and warmth returned. “The offer was always an investment in you.”

Yeah, right, thought Vanessa.

But she didn’t say anything. If Organa wanted to keep pretending that she was recruiting Vanessa for her own abilities, that was fine. They both knew the truth, but that didn’t mean Vanessa couldn’t take advantage of them. 

“Alright,” said Vanessa. “Than as my sponsor, can I ask for your help with something?”

“Of course. What is it?”

“I want to enter the Tournament.”

“I can help you prepare for the Tournament.”

“I mean this Tournament. The upcoming one.”

Organa’s smile faded again. “...I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

“Then help me get ready.”

“...Well, I am your sponsor,” said Organa with a sigh. “If you’re serious about this, we have a lot of work to do. Are you ready to start now?”

“Yes, but I promised someone else I’d be somewhere tonight. Other than that, I’m prepared to devote every waking hour toward this.”

“Every waking hour is a big promise. Are you resolved to keep that promise?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Then let’s begin.”

Six hours later, Vanessa trudged back to the dorms. She hadn’t realized how intense Organa’s training would be. Vanessa almost suspected that she was being pushed harder than normal because Organa was getting petty revenge for what Vanessa had said to her about Bella. But Organa wouldn’t do that, right?

No, she definitely would.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t really anything she could do but bear with it. Organa didn’t seem to believe that her resolve was real yet. She would just have to prove the scheming celestial wrong. If she could do that, then maybe she’d have a chance of proving Bella wrong too.

When she made it to the top floor of the dorm, she hesitated in front of Kat’s door. If she just went to her room, she would be able to get a full 12 hours of sleep before returning to Organa’s torture chamber office. But she wasn’t one to break her promises, so she reluctantly knocked, and immediately heard Kat’s voice from inside.

“She’s here!”

During the brief couple seconds between Kat speaking and the door opening, Vanessa pondered why the doors seemed to only sometimes let sound through. Most of the time, they were completely soundproof, which she had confirmed with her butler construct, but sometimes, when the owner of the room wanted, they would be able to be heard from outside. The rules made sense, but Vanessa couldn’t even begin to comprehend what kind of oum control would need to go into setting up something like that. 

“Hey, you finally–!” started Kat as the door swung open. “Woah, you look exhausted! What happened?”

“Training,” said Vanessa.

“Damn. Have you been training this whole time?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s perfect! You look like you could really use some booze to help loosen up! Come in!”

Kat’s cheeks were already slightly red, indicating that she and the others had gotten started while waiting, which Vanessa didn’t mind. She didn’t plan on drinking too much. She had had enough binge drinking in her freshman year.

Or so she thought. Two hours later, she was swaying and giggly as Kat and June did some karaoke. Vanessa had been surprised to see June there at all, and was even more surprised that she agreed to do karaoke, but nothing could have prepared her for how good June was at it. She wasn’t sure if she was just drunk and her judgement was impaired, or if June was actually that good, but the whole time that June sang, her jaw was hanging wide open. She was so good that the others almost couldn’t hear how bad Kat was. Almost.

After karaoke, Jacob, Al, and Jenny made a supply run down to the Dining Hall for more snacks and then the group sat in relative silence while munching and sipping on their drinks. June seemed mortified after the fact from karaoke, so pretended to fall asleep, and everyone else seemed to be heading that direction as well. They still had not quite recovered from the exhaustion of the Starter Quest, and the alcohol wasn’t helping. Well most of them hadn’t recovered. Kat was still as full of energy as ever.

“So, what kinda training were you doing?” she asked, turning her attention to Vanessa after thoroughly interrogating Jacob. 

“Stuff…” said Vanessa, a little out of it.

“What kinda stuff?”

“Hmmmm…” Vanessa swayed in place for a few seconds until something clicked in her mind and her head cleared a bit. “I got a sponsor.”

“Oh?” said Kat, perking up like she had just heard an interesting bit of gossip. “Who?”

“The Hateps.”

“Like Organa?”

“Yesh.”

“Niiiice. Are you gonna grow wings now?”

“No.” Vanessa frowned. “I don’t think so.”

“Dang. That’d be cool.”

“Maybe.”

A moment of silence passed before Kat spoke again.

“So why’re you training so hard? Today’s celebration day! We won!”

“...I’m gonna enter the Tournament.”

“You are?” asked Jacob, suddenly perking up.

Vanessa looked at him and vaguely noticed that he hardly seemed drunk at all.

“Yeah.”

“Me too,” he said. “My sponsor said it would be good experience.”

“Mine too!” said Kat.

“I guess that means we might be fighting each other in a few weeks,” said Jacob.

“Yeah…” said Vanessa. “I need to be shtronger.”

She frowned as her words slurred again, then set down her glass. She had drank too much.

“Same!” said Kat. “And-!”

At that moment, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. They were all confused. Only one other person had been invited, and she had pretended not to hear the invitation in the first place. It could always be a neighbor wanting something from Kat, or someone trying to crash the party, but Vanessa had an odd feeling that it wasn’t, so as Kat stumbled toward the door, Vanessa started circulating her oum to try to clear the alcohol from her system. 

“You’re here!” exclaimed Kat before Vanessa got very far.

“I’m not here to party,” came Bella’s voice.

“Well then why are you here?”

“I’m going out. I’ll be back in a few weeks. Maybe a few months. Not sure exactly.”

“Where to?”

“Somewhere.”

“Well, wanna take a drink for the road?”

“I don’t drink.”

“C’monnn, just one? You can’t stop by a party and leave without having a drink!”

Vanessa turned to see Kat dragging Bella by the arm. Oddly enough, Bella wasn’t resisting much. The drunken psychiatrist within Vanessa said it was because she subconsciously wanted to get closer to them, and was therefore letting Kat reel her in. The drunken pragmatist in her told her it was just so she could deliver her news to someone less trashed than Kat. The pessimist in her was the loudest of all though as she noticed Bella’s oum. She had gotten stronger again, and not just by a little bit. She was 2 star.

“You gotta try this stuff,” said Kat, sloppily pouring Bella a cup of the almost margarita. 

“I don’t drink,” Bella repeated, looking around until her eyes settled on Jacob, who was obviously the most sober. “I’m sure you heard, but I’m leaving. Don’t bother looking for me. I’ll be gone for a while. You’ll know when I return.”

“Aye-aye, cap’n,” said Jacob. “What will you be doing?”

“Something. Alright, bye.”

“C’mon, you can’t leave without drinking!” said Kat, trying to push the full cup toward Bella and inadvertently spilling some on the other woman’s clothes.

Bella grabbed Kat by the arms to stop her advance, then took the cup away. Vanessa expected Bella to dump it, or at least set it on the counter before leaving, but to everyone’s surprise, she instead drained it in a single gulp, then wiped her mouth and handed it back.

“Happy?”

Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked out. No one else said a word. Even Kat, who had been pressing her to drink, didn’t know what to say. Like Vanessa, she probably hadn’t expected Bella to actually do it.

Wait, thought Vanessa suddenly after finally processing Bella’s words. Doesn’t that mean she might miss the Tournament?

She felt her resolve waver slightly before firming up again. So what if she missed it? There would be other witnesses to attest to what they saw Vanessa do. And there would be other Tournaments to impress Bella at. If Bella stayed that long, that is. She just had to hope that if Bella missed the Tournament, she would miss the Ascension Test too so that Vanessa would have a chance to prove herself again.

And it doesn’t matter anyway, she thought. I’m going to reach the top, and that won’t change. I need to train this hard regardless.

With that in mind, she stood up and walked toward the door.

“Where ya goin’?” asked Kat.

“To bed,” she said. “I need to train hard tomorrow. I can’t let Bella get too far ahead.”