Rocket Breakdown

Team Rocket

This is the first time I’m doing a breakdown of a whole party, one that specifically pours all the might and magic into one of their members, a Tabaxi speedster. I decided to focus only on the mechanics that accomplish a specific goal of making the cool cat humanoid run, or rather fly, as fast as possible. I may refine the concept with other, non-relevant mechanics at some point, but that’s a consideration for future me. Right now, I will focus strictly on as much speed as possible within confines of 5e ruleset. For the most part (I…bent a few rules, but I think you’ll forgive me 😉)

Key Features, Spells & Items

FEATURES: Feline Agility, Transmuter Stone, Swiftness Elixir, Adjust Density, Tales From Beyond (Tale of the Traveler), Aura of Alacrity, Elk Totem Spirit + Fast Movement, Bladesong, Unarmored Movement, Action Surge

FEATS: Mobile, Aberrant Dragonmark (Boon of Speed)

SPELLS: Glyph of Warding (I know, I know… I did say I’ll bend some rules heh) to store - Ashardalon’s Stride, Kinetic Jaunt, Shapechange (into Quickling) and Invulnerability (let’s just be real, there’s no way to move 70k+ feet in 6 seconds without taking some damage along the way);
Haste (I mean obviously…), Dissonant Whispers (reaction movement yeah!), Enlarge/Reduce (Tiny half-weight (Adjust Density) Quickling reallyy can’t carry all the items – Small one shouldn’t struggle with it too much)

ITEMS: Orrery of the Wanderer (Chronolometer, Time Bandit – don’t mess up the d6 roll!), Pennant of the Vind Rune, Eagle Whistle, Boots of Speed, (optional, definitely rules bendy)Portable Hole/Bag of Holding for mobile Glyph of Warding

Party Composition

THE SPEEDSTER:Tabaxi Monk 11 (subclass doesn’t matter – I personally like the flavor or Ascendant Dragon for this character the most)/Elk Totem Barbarian 5/Bladesinger Wizard 2/Fighter 2

This character needs as much base walking movement speed as possible. Monk adds +20, Elk Barbarian +25 (Fast Movement 10, Rage 15), Bladesinger adds additional 10 and Fighter is there for Action Surge Dash!

THE TEAM:

1) Transmutation Wizard 17 – The last 3 levels don’t matter. Transmuter Stonefeature adds +10 speed. And since our Tabaxi runner will be Raging and therefore unable to cast or Concentrate on spells, someone needs to store all the speed buffing spells in a bunch of Glyphs of Warding: Ashardalon's Stride +20, Kinetic Jaunt +10, Longstrider +10, Shapechange into a Quickling (120 base movespeed, keeps all race/class traits & features)

The ruling on "Self" spells cast into Glyph of Warding are fuzzy https://rpg.stackexchange.com/questions/115540/can-a-spell-with-a-target-of-self-be-stored-in-glyph-of-wardingI of course conveniently decided be a "yes" man, but it's up in the air cuz daddy Crawford cast Confusion, as it often happens. But, daddy Crawford also said we shouldn't take his advice as gospel either https://twitter.com/JeremyECrawford/status/1205393277513433088, so I decided to follow my own minmaxy religion.

While not mandatory from a purely theorycrafting perspective (Wizard can simply spend hours at a spot to cast them normally), I already discussed a potential rules-bendy way to employ Bag of Holding as a way to transport the glyphs of warding without losing them. You can watch my Bullet videos for that https://youtu.be/NJ9RKgZ3KWEand https://youtu.be/2VaxXiIcgDUThis clearly and probably wasn’t an intended way to combine these magical effects, so if you’re a DM, be warned about this, as it’s a can of worms, a Pandora’s box which once opened, can lead to all sorts of crazy sh*t.

2) Alchemist Artificer 14/Graviturgy Wizard 2 – The last 4 levels don’t matter. Alchemist can make a Swiftness Elixir for +10ft movespeed, as well as create a Boots of Speedinfusion while Concentrating on Haste. It can also make a Bag of Holding for a Transmuter Wizard to get into, cast all the spells into Glyphs of Warding and make them mobile.

3) Spirits Bards 14 – the other 6 levels don’t matter. This one is unreliable, but in theory, you should have decent odds of getting Tale of the Traveler from your Tales From Beyond feature, because at level 14, the Mystical Connection feature gives you an extra die roll for that. +10 ft movespeed isn’t much, but it stacks.

4) Glory Paladin 7 – Aura of Alacrity for extra +10ft movespeed, the rest of the levels can be whatever you want.

Items

While Artificer can make Boots of Speed, it can’t get you all the speed boosting items:

1) Orrery of the Wanderer (Acquisitions Incorporated) – this one contains both the Chronolometer, which doubles your speed and gives you an extra Dash action via Fate Swap trait (better succeed on that 50-50 roll!), as well as a chance to get a +10ft movespeed major beneficial property. The latter is purely RNG, but the main benefit is the speed doubling

2) Pennant of the Wind Rune (Storm King’s Thunder) – just a casual very rare item for another +5ft movespeed

3) Eagle Whistle (Tales from the Yawning Portal) – this one is basically as important as the first one, as it doubles your movement speed while you’re blowing it.

Wombo Combo

1. Base Movement Speed Buffs

- Shapechange into Quickling: 120 feet

- 5 Elk Totem Barbarian +25 feet

- 2 Bladesinger +10 feet

- 11 Monk +20 feet

- Mobile feat +10 feet

- Aberrant Dragonmark feat (Boon of Speed) +30 feet

- Ashardalon's Stride +20 feet

- Kinetic Jaunt +10 feet

- Longstrider +10 feet

- Transmuter Stone +10 feet

- Swiftness Elixir + 10 feet

- Adjust Density +10 feet

- Tale of the Traveler +10 feet

- Aura of Alacrity +10 feet

- Orrery of the Wanderer +10 feet

- Pennant of the Vind Rune +5 feet

TOTAL BASE MOVEMENT SPEED: 320 feet

2. Speed Multiplier Buffs

- Haste x2

- Boots of Speed x2

- Feline Agility x2

- Eagle Whistle x2

- Chronolometer (Orrery of the Wanderer) x2

TOTAL SPEED MULTIPLIER: x32

FINAL MOVEMENT SPEED: 10,240 feet

3. Action Economy

Basic movement + action Dash + Chronolometer action Dash + bonus action Dash (Monk’s Step of the Wind) + Action Surge Dash + Haste action Dash + reaction movement (Dissonant Whispers) = 71,680 feet/~13.58 miles in 6 seconds!

This translates to an effective speed of ~8145.455 miles per hour, or ~10.62 Mach!

Conclusion

I don’t know… this is just pointless XD. Do your worst and best you can, and let me know of all the infamous exploits in the comments!

I’m working on a FTL (Faster Than Light) concept. Yeah yeah, I know, just cast Teleport right? But, wouldn’t it be more fun if you could actually do it in a more tangible way? ;), I think I’m close to cracking it, you will see it on the channel if I figure it out.