Problem Child 23

Yes, obviously she wanted to fight. Aiko bared her teeth at him to intimidate. 

He said, “Awww, okay little buddy.” He grinned down at her and tried to ruffle her hair. Aiko dodged and hissed at him.

Kon might not have been enough of a primate to recognize the threat display for what it was.

Fine, new plan. She would lightly stab him to establish dominance. Aiko palmed a vegetable peeler subtly. “Is anytime okay?” she asked, keeping it vague so that he couldn’t cry to Mom later. If he said yes, she would slam it into his knee and see if he dodged.

Weirdly, he looked at the hand with the knife. Did he see that? He shouldn’t have. “Let’s go to the backyard,” Kon suggested. 

‘He might not be a total chump,’ Aiko acknowledged. That was more appealing. 

…And maybe it made more sense, given that Miss Head had been the one to introduce him.

‘They aren’t actually affiliated,’ Aiko judged, trailing behind Natty and Kon on the way around the house. ‘She is a corporate shark, at least in her day life. It wouldn’t line up with whatever a teenage celebrity is doing. She probably only contacted him because she knew he would jump if she said so. Maybe corralling him back into reach for Mr. Luthor. No one likes Mr. Luthor.’

Kon put his sunglasses back down and sniffed when he squared up to her. Light glinted off of the tinted glass. “Alright, here’s the rules,” he announced.

She rolled her eyes immediately. Aiko and her twin made derisive eye contact, clearly thinking the same thing.

“If you don’t follow them, I’m going to use markers on the walls and tell your Mom that you did it.”

Aiko froze. She stared up at Kon incredulously.

…He didn’t seem to be joking. 

She exchanged another look with Natty. He seemed impressed.

“No flying, nothing that would kill a normal human being. Stop immediately if I say so.” Kon listed conditions off one finger at a time. “No TTK, no stabbing.” He eyed her in a way that made Aiko certain he knew she had a tiny knife in hand.

“This is like living in prison,” Aiko complained, and begrudgingly put away the vegetable peeler. What a waste of effort stealing it from the kitchen drawer that was always stuck shut. Natty giggled. “The worst,” she stressed. She couldn’t resist stomping her foot. “Can I at least use the powers of the elements?”

Kon cocked his head to the side like a bird. “Yeah, if only because I wanna know what you mean.” He huffed out air from both nostrils and smiled so cockily that Aiko wanted to kill him on the spot. “I’ll let you get the first shot.”

“Neat.” Natty ran through the handsigns she had taught him and executed a razor blade of wind. Kon blinked. He did not move or do anything to dodge the gust of air that rammed into him. Kon stumbled with a yelp, blinking down at his torn shirt in disbelief. 

“What the fu-”

Aiko hit him with an earth wall– at least partly. Kon ducked and rolled away from that, preternaturally fast. He sort of shrugged one shoulder at her and wrested control of the dirt away from her. It went hard– impossible to direct. She shrieked in surprise and let go of the technique. It crumbled back to the grass, inert.

Natty shrieked out a laugh. He looked between the two of them with a shitty grin.

‘That has literally never happened. I didn’t know that could happen.’

The babysitter was unphased.

Aiko took a moment to stare. “What was that?” 

“Sorry, reflex,” Kon said, holding his hands up in a what can you do shrug. “I used TTK. I won’t do it again, promise.” He flashed his white teeth at her.

She took a deep inhalation and respected him a little more. With that in mind, she decided to try to kill him. She unhinged her jaw and breathed fire in a spigot aimed at his face.

Kon moved fast. 

‘Holy shit,’ Aiko thought, from her new position suspended in the air. She stopped spewing fire and tried to twist around to face Kon, who was holding her aloft from behind by her armpits. His grip didn’t budge at all. 

“Nope,” Kon popped the p. “That was cheating.”

“Was not,” Aiko lied indignantly. She tried to pry his fingers open. They were like metal. Damn.

He let her struggle for a long time. It was undignified. Aiko writhed like a snake. She kicked at him– she might as well kick a wall.

‘There is no chance of me getting down until he lets me. I am outclassed. He is a more powerful opponent.’

“You done?” Kon asked smugly.

He was a massive asshole, she realized. He was not only an overly testosteroned loser greaseball teenager, he was also the type of person who would have genuine beef with a small child. 

‘I respect that.’

Aiko huffed, wryly admitting it was time to take her licks like a grownup. “I’m done,” she said. It was time to be honest, now that she realized Kon was the best person she knew. “I was trying to kill you to see what you would do.” He set her down. She turned around to face him. This time, she allowed him to ruffle her hair. “I didn’t know that you were cool,” Aiko apologized. She held out a hand to shake. “We cool?”

“Oh, we are so cool.” Kon shook her hand seriously. “You can’t defeat me. That was sick tho, totally sick.”

Natty scrambled over. “Me too!” he bellowed. “Shake my hand, shake my business hand!” He shook until he was sick of shaking and then made the most generous offer he could. “Do you wanna see my stuff?”

“No!” Aiko burst out, tugging on Kon’s free hand. She didn’t want him to pay attention to her brother instead of her. “See my stuff first, I have cool stuff!”

Kon looked between the two of them, bemused.

Natty screwed up face up to cry.

Oh, no. That would ruin everything. “Because your stuff will take longer,” Aiko scrambled to explain. That wasn’t her reason but it was true. “My stuff I can just show, but we can’t play with it. Kon is going to want to play with your stuff.”

He sniffled and brightened right up. “That’s true.” Natty tugged on Kon’s hand. Aiko mimicked him on the other side, towing the recalcitrant teenager like a kite. “You’re heavy,” he whined. “Hurry up!”

They got Kon into the house and into their shared bedroom. Aiko pulled open the top dresser with a rattle and started pulling out her best stuff. “Look at this knife.” She held it up to let it catch the light. Natty lunged to grab it. Kon let out a yelp and blurred forward with superspeed to snag it first. 

“This is sharp,” he said, eyes wide behind his teeny sunglasses. 

“Of course it’s sharp,” Natty said scornfully. “How else would you stab your enemies with it?” 

Aiko nodded along with this wisdom, working the catch on the bigger box from Mr. Luthor.

“Do you have enemies?” Kon leaned forward in intrigue but kept the knife too high for Natty ot grab. He was right to do so– Natty looked between the novelty lightning-bolt shaped metal and Kon’s face longingly. 

He let out a sigh. “Not yet,” Natty admitted. “But I’m working on what I’ll need when I get them.” He shot Kon a speculative glance and folded his arms. “If you know a good enemy, let me know.”

“...Gotcha.” Kon cleared his throat and looked back at Aiko. She was waiting patiently, ready to open the box and whip out her coolest possession. “Whatcha got there?”

“A gun,” she said, and aimed it at him.

He hit the ground on his knees. Kon’s eyes went wide. He clutched at his chest like he had been shot and gasped for air like a fish.

Aiko and Natty both laughed. “You’re silly,” he said admiringly.

Kon keeled over onto his side. He flinched. Sweat beaded on his face rapidly. “Hey, uh.” He had to pause to breathe heavily. “Is, uh. Is there a green bullet in that?”

Aiko’s eyebrows shot up. “How did you know?” She knelt down next to him, putting the gun by his chest. It must be special– well, she had surmised as much, but this was interesting data!

He wheezed and sort of convulsed away. “A guess,” Kon managed. “Put it away, please.” 

Aww. He didn’t really even look at it. Disappointed, she did as she was told. As soon as she clicked the case shut Kon started to recover. His face regained color. He sat up and ruffled his hair. “So.” Kon cleared his throat. He had a new line under his eyes. It started to disappear in real time as she watched. “Did you, uh. You got that stuff from Batman, huh?” 

…Only the knife. Aiko looked at the case with the gun and green bullets. Batman had that stuff too? 

‘He was holding out on me,’ she thought, outraged. And then, worse- ‘Kon didn’t like my gun.’

Out loud, she said, “Batman gave me cool stuff to make me feel safe.” She scrambled to think of what else Kon might like. She couldn’t let him leave without showing him something cool!

Kon let his head hit the dresser. “Because you’re scared of Superman.” It came out wry.

Aiko puffed up. That was rude. “No,” she corrected. “Because I plan to kill him.”

He shot her a dubious look. “And he knows that?”

Aiko folded her arms and nodded. “I was very explicit.” 

Kon huffed and then looked around. “I, uh.” he pointed at her bed. “I really like your comforter! Is that a Tyrannosaurus Rex?”

Aiko brightened up. “Yes!” She ran over to jump on the bed, grinning at him. “Look at how high I can jump here!” She did a really good jump and touched the ceiling to show off. “Look!” She did a sick-ass ninja kick in the air to show off.

“Wow!” Kon enthused. “That’s so cool! You’re really cool. And, ah, that poster?” He thumbed at her bedside. “That’s sick as fu-heck.” He was still sitting on the floor, legs splayed out like a teddy bear sat.

Aiko stopped jumping long enough to explain. “It’s actually May from a calendar of Justice League anti villains.” She pointed to the bad edge proudly. “I tore it out, see?” 

Natty whined. “This is boring.” He tried to pull Kon up. “Come on, we have to go back outside. I have an evil chemistry lab.”

“We were just outside,” Kon said, but he looked relieved to leave the bedroom. 

“It’s just a regular chemistry lab,” Aiko pointed out. She rolled her eyes. Natty wanted so badly to make it sound cooler than it was. “And a workshop.”

“Yeah, but I’m not allowed to have it in the house,” Natty explained. He ignored her with the ease of practice. “Mom said it’s against OSHA regulations and Dad said the Geneva convention agrees.” His voice disappeared down the stairs as he ran through the house.

Aiko trailed after them, trying to work up enthusiasm for Natty’s science experiments.