Words straight from the brain and the heart

Hi.

I just want to say thank you to you all for being here. It means so much truly.

Instagram has been a tough place to be since late 2018. I've stopped focusing on the number game for quite some time now because no matter how much effort I put, Instagram just works the way it works. My account hasn't "grown" a lot since 2018 and I don't know what the problem is. But I've learned to treat that as something that doesn't matter because what matters is that I'VE grown a lot as an artist and as a person since. Plus I've still got so many people following my work which is very nice! And I feel like I've only just started making comics haha. So sometimes I just act like I've just gotten into the social media game, that way the dropping reach and engagement don't bother me as much even though I've been at it for 5 years.

Earlier I've said that I don't care about my dropping engagement and reach but over the past year I've realized that it matters to me. I love it when people interact with my work. This might seem like a silly problem to have for some people because to them I'm just one of the many they follow but to me they're the ones I rely on. I wanna start my online shop too to get some extra income and also because I've been wanting to do it since 2018 but I'm just scared it's gonna go to waste but I guess this doubt is quite common and normal before starting things. I was terrified of starting my Patreon too back in 2017 but I'm so glad I did.

I've promoted my Patreon, talked about it quite a bit in the past two months and I didn't get a single new patron and I've beaten myself up for that. Then I realized I've got so many of you here already and I'm so so grateful for that. Some problems that are temporary feel like they're gonna last for an eternity.

Also, my whole ordeal with getting stuck into a state of derealization for months while thinking about the universe and planets got too real and it made me miserable and powerful at the same time. I want to talk more but it's probably the kinda stuff I should talk about with my therapist first hehe. I don't like how instagram makes people make quick to consume content quickly back to back on to the next. Maybe I'm spending too much time on the wrong side of Instagram sigh I don't know.

Patreon makes it possible for me to live my life on my own terms without having to work under someone and you are making it possible. I'm forever grateful for your belief in me. There are more ways to do this too but this is a very important kickstart in my life.

I just hate to feel so sad because of the algorithm of a stupid app that I've built my life on.

I still have to finish my music video that I told you about but this sense of insecurity instagram provides has made it difficult to balance comics and the music video but having you here makes me relax and is grounding.

I'm also still grieving and still get panicky about the future and I just find myself so lonely in my head sometimes. Aaaaa ok this is going off topic now. I'll stop here.

Thank you again for the millionth time 🌳❤️

-Aditi 🪴