Eggs and Fakin'

“I’m sorry, what?” Luna could scarcely believe what her Discord friend was asking of her via voice chat.

“People online are obsessed with eggs! Do you not look at the popular trans subreddits? I really think this could bring in a lot of attention… and maybe money?”

Luna sighed. “I’m really tired of pretending, though. I know I’m trans and I’m happy that I know and I don’t want to hide that from people, even random strangers online. And no, god, I avoid those subreddits like the plague. I can only take so many Nintendo-loving catgirls who write code in Rust while wearing programming socks. It’s just so, like, Western white or Asian middle class trans girls who mistake the particular signifiers of their specific demographic as universal signs of transness.”

Tuna (her friend) laughed. “I mean, yeah, that’s fair. But also, like, that’s probably the best trans girl demographic to target because they might actually have money? Gotta get those software engineers.”

“Look, even if I considered this… what exactly is the plan? Post and stream and stuff and keep, like, blue-balling people on ‘realizing’ I’m trans? Aren’t they gonna get suspicious after a while?”

“Yeah, basically. Never resolving an obvious tension is a great way to keep people’s attention! I mean, I only got as far as I did into the X-Files because the sexual tension was so thick you could–”

“Okay, yes, I get it. It seems pretty immoral, though. Even though I’ll admit that just being another online trans girl seems to get absolutely no attention. It’s like people have totally different standards for trans girls versus ‘femboys’ or whatever the fuck. For one, they keep making our fucking existence into a political wedge issue.”

Tuna sighed. “I mean, look, yes, I know. The world isn’t fair. Big news. And, like, it’s not like other groups of trans and gender non-conforming people have it great. I mean, I cannot get my shitty cishet coworkers to use they/them pronouns. And god, the number of butch lesbians I know who get told they’re in the wrong bathroom? It’s–”

“Okay, let’s not turn this into a race to see who’s most oppressed or whatever. I mean, this isn’t Twitter.” Luna sighed again. “You know what? Let’s wait a month. After I pay rent, unless stuff suddenly changes, my bank account is gonna go into the negative.”

“Yay!” Tuna said. “I know it might be a little sus but, like, people aren’t gonna be forced to give you money. And you need it way more than some sheltered girl who just graduated from college and makes six figures.”

“That doesn’t morally justify it,” Luna. “But yes, alright, capitalism makes us all do bad things. If things get really dire I’ll consider it.”