In Your Shadow [Chapter 36]

Deku held up a piece of paper, as Katsuki sat down, and Katsuki leaned in a little closer, finding his own words printed on it. He’d only sent it to Deku’s inbox the night prior, but apparently the guy worked fast. He shouldn’t have been surprised by that, especially when Mirio claimed that Deku was a massive night owl, but still the man seemed to catch him off-guard regularly.

“I love this,” Deku said, laughing when Katsuki gawked at him. “There’s so much in here this week, it’s great.”

“Um, th-thank you?”

“As soon as classes end for a bit, you’ve got your fingers in every pot,” Deku explained, chuckling still. “I’m glad you’re taking all the opportunities you can get.”

“Oh. Um, yeah. Of course.”

The print-out had scribbled notes in the margins, in three different colours, but Katsuki couldn’t read the handwriting from where he sat, so he supposed he was just going to have to wait for Deku to explain it himself – damn it.

“I think you should try to visit your parents on the weekends,” Deku told him, turning the page around again so he could read his own notes. “Most of our trainings and things are going to be happening during the week, and Mirio said you’re keen to get on a bunch of them, so it would probably be easier for you.”

“Okay,” Katsuki agreed. “It doesn’t have to be every weekend, they’ll cope.”

“I’m not gonna force you to do anything,” Deku said, smiling wryly. “But if my mother asks, I suggested every weekend.”

“Understood.”

“Do you have any other plans for the summer, that I should account for?”

Katsuki felt like that was a loaded question, in all honesty. Deku had been a U.A. student too, he knew all about the summer camps, not to mention the make-up classes for people who had screwed up their exams – thankfully, Katsuki was not one of those. Like hell if he’d ever let that happen.

“Aizawa-sensei wants me to go to the training camp,” Katsuki informed him. “But he said if you’ve got other things on that I think are more important for my future, he understands.”

“You should definitely go,” Deku said firmly. “They really are great training experiences, with teachers who know you and your quirk. They’ve been watching you for over two years, at this point, so I’m sure they have some interesting plans in store for you. Plus, it’s good to have fun with your classmates while you have the chance. What about your exams?”

“What about them?” Katsuki asked, immediately bracing himself to be lectured for the tone.

“Katsuki,” Deku said warningly – sure enough. “Are you being defensive with me right now?”

“No, Deku, of course not,” Katsuki assured him. “I’ve never failed a single class in my life, if that’s what you’re asking about.”

“Okay, I’m glad. You’ve spent a lot of time here instead of in class, lately, so I wanted to make sure you had kept up.”

“You told me I had to keep my grades up,” Katsuki reminded him. “I wouldn’t let anyone blame you for them slipping.”

Deku cracked a smile this time, and Katsuki felt himself blush.

“The practical exam too?” Deku prompted.

“I kind of forgot it was an exam,” Katsuki admitted. “I’d been busy and it slipped my mind. I just went to class and did what I was told, didn’t think anything of it.”

“Can’t have been too bad, then,” Deku chuckled.

“No, it was just a rescue simulation thing.”

“That doesn’t sound like a U.A. exam.”

“The first years were hidden in the school as civilians, and the second years as villains, so we had to rescue all the kids before the villains could take us out.”

“That’s more like it. And you didn’t realise it was an exam?”

“No, just figured it was some weird training exercise I hadn’t heard was coming. It was easy.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t too stressful, then.”

Deku wrote something on the page, with his other notes, and Katsuki raised an eyebrow. Did he really need to make a note that he’d passed all his exams? He was almost offended.

“Okay, so we’ll leave a week blank for the camp,” Deku said, more to himself than Katsuki. “Any trainings or anything that happen that week, I’ll make a note of and schedule you on the next time instead. And be nice to your classmates while you’re there, it’s always good to have some allies who know you well when you go pro, and your classmates are the easiest way to do that.”

“I’ll try,” Katsuki conceded.

“I’m gonna finalise our training dates tonight, so I’ll email you a schedule for those as soon as I can, and you can make sure to set time aside. We’ve got a talk about hostage negotiation happening, a rescue expert coming in, an emergency first aid course, it should be a good time. Some of the stuff will happen after you’re back at school, too, but I’ll see what I can do about those.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“My pleasure!” Deku grinned. “I saw you were involved in the bridge incident, too. You didn’t mention that when I saw you last week.”

“We were busy,” Katsuki shrugged.

“How are you feeling about it? It sounded like a tough one.”

Katsuki didn’t answer right away. A part of him still felt weirdly excited about it, about being involved with something so huge, about how successful they’d been. He was proud to have been there and been helpful. But also…

“I think it messed with my anxiety a little,” he admitted, ignoring the way Deku’s face changed immediately. “When I talk about it, or even think about it too hard, I still get hit with the adrenaline like I’m there again. My heart starts to race and I start itching to move, like I’m missing something, or someone, like I need to run back there and make sure everyone is out.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Deku said, setting his paperwork down softly. “Is there a specific part of it that you feel like is affecting you?”

“My quirk wasn’t useful,” Katsuki answered. That was an easy one, at least. “I just had to rely on brute force and speed, but… I mean, I was in the water, so I was slow, and cold. And I guess I felt like I had to do everything, because so many of the others were busy or weren’t really doing anything.”

“People weren’t helping?”

“Endeavour’s team was there,” Katsuki explained. “They were hauling people out the side and drying them out and stuff, warming them up because Todoroki had so much ice in the water, providing first aid, but none of them really jumped in or anything. I was probably too hasty, I probably should have let someone else make a plan or whatever, but…”

“No,” Deku cut him off. “You did the right thing, Katsuki. I promise.”

Katsuki blinked at him, at the oddly stern face that was usually directed at him, not at some intangible thought that Katsuki couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“There was no real video footage of it,” Deku informed him. “So I don’t know the whole story, only what I’ve heard from the others.”

“Oh.”

“I know that you were the first one in there, dragging people out of their cars, while Rose was still sealing the bridge. I hope you know I admire that. Even with a quirk that wasn’t great for it, you still jumped in to help, without hesitation.”

“I couldn’t let them…” he trailed off, and Deku nodded understandingly.

“Don’t tell me about that part. Can you tell me about Maelstrom arriving?”

“It was the best feeling in the world,” Katsuki admitted. “I was getting so stressed out, trying to be fast enough, and as soon as I saw his face, I knew we were all safe. And fuck — sorry — I’ve seen him use his quirk before, of course, but I didn’t know he could do that.”

“He’s an impressive young man,” Deku agreed, smiling to himself. “I hear he passed out for a while afterward.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“And the other one. Your classmate. The others didn’t know his name.”

“Todoroki Shouto.”

Deku raised an eyebrow, and Katsuki chuckled.

“Yeah. Endeavour has a weird obsession with raising him to beat you and All Might, but he just wants to use his mother’s power, he doesn’t use his fire side much. His ice is incredible.”

“So I hear. It sounds like you have a lot of faith in him, he must be a good friend.”

Katsuki grimaced. He still didn’t consider them friends, even if Todoroki liked to insist. But, well… maybe he was something close, Katsuki supposed. A rival and a teammate. Enough that it probably wasn’t worth arguing about, not with Deku.

“I didn’t want to hesitate,” Katsuki admitted. “I thought if I doubted him, he might not believe he could do it.”

“Knowing someone else has faith in you can be a powerful motivator,” Deku agreed. “I’m impressed that you were able to push any doubt aside and just believe in your friends.”

There was that damn word again, ugh.

“Everyone followed me,” Katsuki told him, still a little proud of that fact. “When I ran back in, they all had faith in my judgement and followed. That was nice too.”

“You’ve earned it. The people here think a lot of you, I hope you know that.”

Katsuki looked away, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly, his face burning.

“Thank you for telling me,” Deku said, finally sitting back in his seat a little more comfortably. “I think I understand it a little better, now.”

“Understand it?”

“Your reaction,” Deku said. “And why it’s still affecting you.”

“Oh.”

“I want you to take a break from patrols today.”

“What? I’m fine! I swear!”

Deku held up a hand, and Katsuki snapped his mouth shut, trembling with the effort it took.

“This is not a punishment,” Deku said firmly. “Just let me finish.”

Katsuki had to sit on his hands to keep from doing something stupid.

“We have a bunch of heroes coming in for a meeting this afternoon,” Deku explained. “You’ve been doing a lot of good work here lately, so I want you to come be a part of it.”

“Um, thank you. But I could still go on—”

“Before that meeting happens,” Deku continued, as if Katsuki hadn’t spoken. “I want you to take some time for yourself. To relax, especially, and to get cleaned up. You’re going to go downstairs and talk to Surusumi – I’ll make sure he slots you in – and then you’ll go get a massage, get your hands tidied up now that you’re not biting your nails so much, and maybe get a haircut again, it looked good when it was shorter before. Get yourself looking and feeling good, then come back and make a good impression on all the local heroes, many of whom haven’t seen you since your first sports festival.”

Katsuki cursed under his breath. He hated the whole stupid ritual of it all, but that last sentence was doing a lot of heavy lifting on the matter.

“Okay,” Katsuki grumbled.

“Yes, Deku,” Deku corrected him.

Ugh.

“Yes, Deku,” he parroted. “What do you want me to wear?”

He knew it was coming. Stupid suits, or at least button-up shirts, and ties like a god-damn loser.

“Wear the stealth suit,” Deku instructed. “It looks good on you, very professional.”

Oh. That made it a thousand times better instantly.

“Okay,” he agreed readily, despite the warmth in his face. “No gauntlets?”

“Correct.”

“Understood.”

“And if you do a good job,” Deku said, smiling wryly. “And I do mean a really good job…”

Katsuki perked up, and Deku laughed.

“If. Then yes, Katsuki. I will spar with you again.”

“Hell yes.”

———

“I’d hoped he might go for something a little gentler, when he redesigned,” Best Jeanist was saying, when Katsuki headed their way. “He seems to be a little politer though, that’s a nice change.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Katsuki said, praying his face wouldn’t betray him. “Hello, Best Jeanist, long time no see. How are you?”

He felt like a fucking nerd, but Deku cracked a smile, so he bit back the urge to just take it back instantly and walk away.

“I’m good, thank you, Bakugou. It’s nice to see you. Is school going well?”

“Yes, thank you. I did well in all my exams, so now I get a few weeks to just work here and not have to worry about classes.”

“I keep trying to convince him to see his friends and family,” Deku said, a little teasingly. “But he just won’t leave.”

“I hope you’re learning a lot.”

“Definitely,” Katsuki agreed – at least that one could be sincere. “I love it here.”

“I’m glad to hear it. You’re looking well, too. Turn around.”

Katsuki shot a glance at Deku, but Deku just nodded pointedly, so with a groan quickly – and difficultly – swallowed down, Katsuki obeyed.

“You’ve bulked up, especially your back,” Jeanist explained, while Katsuki balled his hands into fists to keep himself under control. “And I preferred the sleeker look, personally, but the short hair suits you.”

“Thank you,” Katsuki said through gritted teeth, turning around again and thankfully getting no resistance. “I’ve been trying to spend more time in the gym to keep up with all the sidekicks here, Lemillion has been helping me out a lot.”

“He’s been getting our patrol leaders sparring again, too,” Deku chuckled. “They all slacked off on it for a while, too busy with other stuff, but Katsuki is so enthusiastic about it that they can’t bring themselves to turn him down when he asks so nicely.”

This time, Katsuki felt the blush come out.

“Excuse me, I’d better go say hello to Endeavour too, before we start,” he said quickly, relieved when neither of them stopped him from stepping away. “I’m glad you’re doing well, Best Jeanist. It was good to catch up, even if it was brief.”

“The same to you, Bakugou.”

He hurried away, trying his best to ignore the chuckles behind him, and incredibly grateful that none of the sidekicks were around to see him and give him shit. Bleak and Maelstrom would probably never let him live it down, if they heard any of that conversation. Not to mention his classmates.

“You seem to be a good influence on him. Thank you for listening to my request.”

“A lot of people said I’d want to meet him,” Deku said casually. “I’d have found him eventually, either way. He’s the kind of smart and determined hero that I can’t help but like.”

Fuck, Katsuki really needed an escape.

“Endeavour!” he said breathlessly, when he spotted him in a corner. “Hey. Hi. Uh, it’s good to see you.”

Endeavour just raised an eyebrow at him, and Katsuki huffed. He should’ve known Endeavour wouldn’t care about that shit.

“Sorry, Jeanist mode,” he explained, getting a short laugh from Endeavour. “Deku is doing his whole ‘make a good impression for me’ thing.”

“He’s good at putting on an act, I suppose he wants you to learn too.”

Katsuki was pretty sure that was a compliment; or at least, as close as Endeavour was willing to get to one, when it came to Deku.

“Yeah,” Katsuki agreed, eyes darting away to find Deku and Jeanist still looking at him. “Illusion of strength even when you don’t feel strong, and all that.”

“Better to just be strong.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s both,” Katsuki said, cracking a smile when Endeavour rolled his eyes. “If he asks, you’re gonna tell him I was polite and shit, right?”

Endeavour just chuckled, but Katsuki took that as a good sign.

“Is Half— To— ugh; Shouto, doing okay?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

Katsuki shrugged, avoiding eye contact and hoping Deku wouldn’t notice it from across a room.

“He was pretty wiped, after that river wall,” Katsuki explained. “Turned himself into a damn icicle.”

“He needs to learn to use his fire to keep himself stable.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Katsuki huffed. “Been telling him for years to use his damn fire to fight me, but no, whiny asshole and his mommy issues, has to do it all for her or whatever.”

Endeavour didn’t say anything, and Katsuki wondered if he’d gone too far, bringing his family dramas into it.

“How are the others?” he asked, hoping he’d deflected quickly enough. “I miss Fuyumi’s cooking.”

“I don’t blame you,” Endeavour chuckled – not too offended then, thank god. “I’ll let her know you’re thinking of her.”

“Thanks.”

Deku cleared his throat, and the room fell silent, turning to look. He stepped over to the door of the cafeteria, where staff had been busy all morning removing the usual furniture and replacing it with the nicer stuff from the meeting rooms, to make it look more intentional than just being the largest room in the building – well, aside from the gym, but that was probably even harder to work with.

“I think everyone is here!” he declared. “If you’d like to come in and find a seat? Please let our staff know if you’d like a tea or coffee, they’ll be around to help, and we also have water around the room, so help yourselves!”

“You gonna offer to make me coffee now?” Endeavour asked quietly, when people began filing toward the door.

“You have a fire quirk, make your own coffee,” Katsuki snorted.

“And Jeanist?”

“Shit, do you think Deku is expecting me to?”

Endeavour just laughed, leaving him behind to go find a seat, and Katsuki hung back until they’d all made it in, bringing up the rear with Deku. He got a little pat on the shoulder for his efforts, which he supposed meant he was on the right track, at least. Thank god.

“Can you give out the tablets for me?” Deku asked quietly.

“Yes, Deku.”

They had a stack of them waiting at the front of the room, loaded with all the files Deku wanted to talk about, rather than printing way too much paper – Deku was already guilty enough of that without adding big one-off meetings to the mix. They were held in four boxes, and Katsuki began dithering as he picked up the first, glancing around the room. Endeavour was sitting right at the back of the room, but Jeanist was up front, and Hawks was in the middle, but over the other side of the room, with Miruko sitting beside him. Edgeshot was at the front too, but Kamui Woods was near the back, and— fuck, he was taking way too long. He couldn’t go completely in order anyway, right? Not without snubbing someone and offending them for passing them by. He was just gonna have to get it… kind of close.

He hurried back to Endeavour’s area first, handing him a tablet, and then all the heroes surrounding him. Jeanist’s and Edgeshot’s area was next, since Katsuki knew Hawks wouldn’t give a damn, and then he continued around the back to hit Kamui’s area, relieved to find Ryukyu and Gang Orca in the same zone. Finally, he went over to Hawks and Miruko, giving them his best attempt at an apologetic look as he made sure to get them first, and only getting smirks in return that he knew meant he was gonna get teased later, when things were less formal. He made one last look around the room, searching for anyone he’d missed, but thankfully they’d all turned their attention to their screens, and Katsuki could finally relax again.

“This is just my brief list of what I’d like to talk to you all about today, especially the recent influx of incidents with villains targetting infrastructure, which I’m sure everyone has noticed individually, but I’m not sure we all realised how widespread it was. I was talking to a few of you this past week and learned that it goes far beyond my own agency’s area, so clearly this is a pattern emerging, and I think we should talk about what that might mean, and how we can deal with it.”

Katsuki grabbed his notebook, retreating to the edge of the room where he wouldn’t be in the way, and starting to jot down notes. He wasn’t sure how useful they’d be to anyone, himself included, but at least it made him look engaged, rather than just leaning against a wall and fidgeting, right? Looking at his hand wrapped around the pen made him tense up, though, when he saw the stupidly smooth edges to his nails. It had been one of the weirdest experiences of his life, definitely not relaxing like Deku had claimed it would be, and he could only hope it wasn’t about to become a regular occurrence that Deku subjected him to. The staff had been way too excited about it, too, and he’d somehow found himself sat back with weird goop smothering his face while he waited for them to finish.

At least Deku had seemed satisfied.

“Someone’s looking pretty,” Hawks whispered, when he leaned past Katsuki to reach a jug of water. “Deku been having some fun with you?”

Katsuki burned red, squeezing his hands into fists to hide the stupid nails. He should’ve known they were more obvious than he’d thought. Hawks just grinned, taking his time pouring a glass of water, drinking it, then topping it up once more.

“He likes a cute guy who takes care of himself,” Hawks told him, and it took everything in Katsuki’s power to not shove an explosive hand in his face. “Get used to it.”

Fuck.

Hawks winked at him as he left, and Katsuki caught Miruko stifling laughter in her hand as he returned – he should’ve known better than to let Deku’s best friends catch him crushing on the guy. He knew he was way too obvious about it, with the way he followed Deku around like an idiot and practically begged for his attention, but he’d hoped that none of them had been paying close enough attention, or cared enough, to actually notice. He should have been more vigilant, though, when it came to Deku’s friends – he knew what his friends were like, after all.

He wondered if there was something he could do to earn their silence.

“Don’t stress,” Mirio whispered, slipping past him to replace the jug with a full one. “Hawks is just being Hawks, he won’t do anything to embarrass you publicly.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Mirio said with a grin. “He just likes to make himself laugh.”

“He’s not gonna… tell Deku?” Katsuki mumbled, hoping Deku wouldn’t catch him out.

“Tell him what?” Mirio asked, blinking at him before a smile slowly stretched across his lips. “Oh. That tracks. No, he won’t do that to you.”

Despite his mortification, Katsuki was relieved to hear it. Teasing from Hawks, and probably Mirio now, was bearable. Deku knowing about his stupid… thing? Not so much.

It took most of the afternoon, but finally the meeting came to an end, and agency staff rushed in with trays of fancy snacks to offer to the heroes. Deku’s patrol leaders showed up, too, slipping into the mix to mingle with the other heroes, and Katsuki took a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst part of his damn day.

“Relax,” Miruko said, slinging an arm around Katsuki’s shoulders and making him jump. “It’s all in good fun, you don’t have to stress!”

“I’m not stressing,” Katsuki lied.

“You’re a cute dude, can we blame him for having a little fun with you?”

“Shut up,” Katsuki grumbled – great, apparently Miruko was gonna tease too. Lovely.

“Not gonna lie, I’m a little sad you turned me down,” she said with a wink. “I think we could’ve had fun.”

“Me too. I thought about it a lot.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she laughed. “You were never gonna turn Deku down, we all knew that. I was worried he wouldn’t make the offer, though, so figured I’d shoot my shot.”

“I appreciate it. He almost didn’t, I think.”

“Nah, he was always gonna do it. He hoped you would ask him, but he was never gonna just let it slide. He likes you too much.”

“I doubt that,” Katsuki grumbled. “He spends most of his time lecturing me.”

“That just means he’s looking.”

He had to admit, he hadn’t thought about it that way. Deku had to be paying some attention to him, to be able to spot shit to complain about.

“Hey, what do you do when you’re too sick or injured to work?” Katsuki asked. “I was thinking about it the other day.”

“It doesn’t happen often, but if it does, I just don’t work.”

“But like, when heroes here are sick, someone else has to cover them.”

“Oh, I don’t have a set area or anything, so I don’t have to worry about that,” Miruko said with a shrug. “I used to help cover Deku’s lot, back when the agency was a lot smaller. He picked this spot because it was a massive crime hub for a long time, there were villain groups with hideouts around here and all sorts. So if he needed an extra hand, he gave me a call and I came to help.”

“That’s really cool,” Katsuki admitted. “Being the person they call when the heroes need help.”

“A lot of travel too, which is cool if that’s what you want,” Miruko told him. “A lot of people like having their little home base, but my feet start to itch pretty quickly.”

“That makes sense. Um, thanks.”

“Aww, look at you with your manners,” she teased, pinching his cheek. “Careful, you’ll get Deku bored if you get too good. Gotta keep his life interesting!”

“No fear of that,” he scoffed, pulling away stubbornly. “Still can’t stop swearing in front of him.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard.” She smirked, clapping him on the back. “Alright, I’m gonna go hit the hors d'oeuvres. Have fun, kid.”

He nodded faintly, and as she walked away, he caught a glimpse of Deku’s face – he was talking to a small group, but still his eyes darted away, a hint of nerves in his expression as he watched Miruko go.

He supposed Deku knew what Deku’s friends were like, too.