The OBSESSION Episode
Added 2024-04-18 21:00:04 +0000 UTCFellow creepy floozies, join me on this one! I've wanted to do an episode all about obsession for a while, because...I'm someone who gets easily obsessed. With new crushes, with best friends, with TV shows, with celebrities, with meals...you name it, I've obsessed over it. So this week we dive into the definition of obsession, what the root causes are of obsession, the types of people who are most likely to obsess over things, and of course - celebrities that have had their own 'entanglements' with obsession. Enjoy! Also my blog post I reference in the episode is here: https://www.fluentlyforward.com/home4/ripping-the-band-aid-off-and-stalking-your-boyfriends-ex-girlfriend
4:30 Stalking our partners past exes
11:15 Is hatred on the same coin as love?
17:01 The definition of obsession, and cousins of obsession (hatred, par asocial relationships and limerence)
24:24 Which types of people are most likely to fall into obsession?
26:24 Theories around obsession
35:00 Obsession and trauma
39:35 “Animals” by Maroon 5
43:55 “You” the Netflix Series
53:21 Kanye West and Pete Davidson obsession
1:05:45 Other obsessed celebrities
Comments
I promise when I hate stalk I don’t want to have any of their traits :) lol
Taylor
2024-10-08 17:48:47 +0000 UTCShannon omg we r literally the exact same pls what is ur birth chart
Shana cleo
2024-07-17 23:44:18 +0000 UTCSecret gospel of mark ??🤔🫣🫣
Shana cleo
2024-07-17 23:43:41 +0000 UTCI don’t know how I missed this episode! But Shannon! Let me a reformed Catholic who was in altar server come on and weave a yarn with you about how Jesus was queer.
Corinne Huntley
2024-07-12 15:27:39 +0000 UTCOmg that's crazy, I would be the same!
Erin
2024-06-15 11:17:11 +0000 UTCbahahaha, Pete’s tattoos of Kim’s kids’ names, 😌 this is one of the best podcast episodes I’ve ever heard. your content continues to be fantastic. OBSESSED WICHOOOOO 🫣
Petrichor Gold
2024-04-29 03:44:29 +0000 UTCNo bc my best guy friend in middle school randomly disappeared when we were 14 and told NO ONE if he was moving and didn’t answer no one’s calls. To this day ( it’s been 7 years) I try and find them online a couple times a year
VAl A
2024-04-27 04:50:26 +0000 UTCAll I could think about was baby reindeer! You have to watch
Ginny
2024-04-25 20:20:58 +0000 UTCNgl,spraying your perfume at your ex's place is ingenius!
Pedro
2024-04-25 18:46:27 +0000 UTCwait what’s the ep that discusses Selena’s song Perfect because I’m also sooo fascinated by it!!?
Shan
2024-04-24 08:05:48 +0000 UTCalso i just finished reading resilience is futile by julie s. lalonde and i think you’d really like it! it’s a memoir about her experience being stalked by an ex for a decade and the story is harrowing
Savannah Martin
2024-04-21 01:41:43 +0000 UTCI hiked up a fat hill while listening! Such a great episode 💐
Erin
2024-04-20 19:24:29 +0000 UTCmy high school friends and i were also VERY toxic to each other on tumblr. whenever we’d get into a fight we’d make some long post with vicious insults about each other. one time we went to the principal with printed out pages from an ex friends tumblr 😭😭😭 we were so incredibly dramatic
Savannah Martin
2024-04-20 18:47:09 +0000 UTCis the influencer utah born?
grace
2024-04-20 17:28:52 +0000 UTCLoved this episode, hard relate lol. One of my main obsessions just moved to a village I’m also obsessed with - it’s been a fun time !!
Shannon Western
2024-04-20 12:51:57 +0000 UTCi definitely get like this about new crushes but with old flames???? too fucking scary. i can’t see that they’re potentially living a cooler more fulfilling life than me, absolutely not. i prefer stay in delululand and pretend that things got 100x worse for them because i’m petty like that
bradley
2024-04-20 06:12:23 +0000 UTCI would love if you dove more into psychology in other episodes! Loved this
Brooke
2024-04-20 01:04:49 +0000 UTCLOVED THIS also I'm so happy because in describing yourself you absolutely described me and I feel less alone 🥲
Patricia
2024-04-19 21:07:45 +0000 UTCCame here to ask the same thing! I’m desperate to listen lol.
Karolyn DeKam
2024-04-19 19:13:22 +0000 UTCIs anyone else not seeing the ttpd ep?
Natalie m
2024-04-19 18:28:37 +0000 UTCQueen I loved this episode SO much. I need to hear more like it !!
Niki
2024-04-19 17:05:27 +0000 UTCAhh this episode!! I have definitely been the obsessive need-to-know-it-all-avoiding-my-own-stress AND had more than one stalker incidence 😅 This story still creeps me out. There was a guy in high school who was always super quiet and a bit odd. He was constantly bullied and I’d also been bullied before so always did my best to be kind but never overly friendly. Some people told me he had a crush on me but never thought much of it. Fast forward to like 12yrs later, my best friend told me he’d been stalking me during a time in high school, like following me home when I walked home after school. Apparently, he’d planned to throw me in his trunk and kidnap me, but he told one of our other friends (who’s part of this group of guys who are still like older brothers to me). He fortunately convinced him not to follow through with that and this group of my “brothers” made sure to keep a close eye on him after that. So weird finding out about it years later, still makes me a bit uncomfy eeeek!
Jenny A
2024-04-19 15:37:59 +0000 UTCThe way I hold grudges like it’s my job
xknowsall
2024-04-19 15:00:06 +0000 UTCI look in peoples windows by tswift! Goes right with this episode 👀👀👀
Abby Rose
2024-04-19 13:57:12 +0000 UTChyperfixation meals ☝🏼
Maddie Fosberg
2024-04-19 13:19:27 +0000 UTCI have sooooo much to say in response but most of it is just reflection since I RELATE. It was funny to hear you mention downplaying here and there, since I feel like I have to do that alot or I come across freaky for how much I’m paying attention or remember. It’s funny how people obsess but no one wants to admit it, sometimes not even to themselves. Oh and the obsessive thoughts on random scenarios or people are most out of control when I’m bored, when I’m stressed I’m very aware of the issue and can’t put it down even if there’s nothing I can do (the worst! and yes while this “soothes” in a sense, it will also deplete you, per my therapist lol) This got long, but there’s still so much else I can add- I’ll just leave it at great episode, you have the coolest topics and excellent deep dives into them! 💖
Annie
2024-04-19 12:25:33 +0000 UTCAlso the episode made me realize that a huge thing is just the self awareness. Like me having my dream scenario person of the month when it’s for fun is not the same as the giant obsessive crushes 🤣
RJ
2024-04-19 10:40:25 +0000 UTCAlso I have been looking at the difference (mostly in reflecting on the past) between the fantasy of a crush and just plain infatuation, as well as attraction vs infatuation. As a pan person sapphic feelings can be very confusing at times!!! It’s also just fine to not be in tune with your feelings all the time 🫶🏼
RJ
2024-04-19 10:38:59 +0000 UTCAlso! I have been doing a lot of thinking (i don’t think I can call it research lol) about obsession, addiction, and how they are tied together. I think a lot of people who have OCPD tend to spiral into the obsessive periods more than average. And if you have an addictive mind it’s easier to cling on to every new hyperfixation. Sometimes I do think it’s just a lack of having someone to talk to about the topic, especially now when there’s sooo many things to get stuck on and not one big thing everyone is chattering about. Like growing up there were like 5 big shows at a time that people would talk about every week because they still had the weekly drop of certain day certain time that was consistent where you had to watch then or wait months for DVDs to come out. I do tend to obsess over shows that no one else seems to be watching, or are on the older side so the discussion is dead and I’m just sat like sometimes begging friends to join me so I can have an outlet lol. I do think as well that the line for online stalking is weird and has gotten progressively more and more blurred. Sometimes I go look someone up on Facebook when I randomly remember they exist and I don’t want to ask someone if they know what’s up with them because i don’t want to gossip about nothing. But I also sometimes wonder if people think I’m insta stalking them if i see their stories too fast. But sometimes I’m just numbly scrolling around and their accounts come up first 🤷🏻♀️ my line for vaguely being nosy and being obsessive used to be more blurred but now idk.
RJ
2024-04-19 10:35:00 +0000 UTCI would love to hear a lil deep dive episode into delusion!! I feel like that is really tied into both obsession and parasocial relationships, and it’s integral in growing the fame of celebrity. Fans have to buy into the they could date/be friends with an artist (though that marketing is generally aimed at teens) and sometimes the stories about celebs are just people projecting their own lives into what they assume the person would do.
RJ
2024-04-19 10:26:33 +0000 UTCLoved this episode! When I discovered your podcast I literally went stalking mode on you 🤣 even followed you on LinkedIn lmao but it’s all admiration truly 🤭! I’ve also heard about people with traumas are more prone to get obsessed with people and or objects, cause it’s easier to do this then actually heal.
Giuliette
2024-04-19 08:49:36 +0000 UTCSo my recent ex's family adores me. So much so that when my ex and I got back in contact and he was hiding it because he didn't know how it would turn out (not well), his parents were talking about his new "friend", his dad immediately said it was me and I had sent him home with flowers for his mom and such (I do it for all of my partner's moms) and his mom wistfully said "I wish." He told me as a joke but it makes me uncomfortable to know I became *that* girl for him. We obviously aren't together and he's got a new girlfriend but sometimes I think about it. Now thankfully my fiance's family adores me and basically treats me as their child/sibling and I immediately became an auntie to his sister's kids. So yeah. Makes me wonder how many ex's girlfriends stalked me because of how much parents/families love me.
Cas Pangburn
2024-04-19 03:45:18 +0000 UTCAlso lacy by Olivia Rodrigo she just gets it bc I’m obsessed with her songs about obsession and they make me want to do my social media rounds whenever I hear them
Alex N
2024-04-19 03:38:36 +0000 UTCLOL
Shannon McNamara
2024-04-19 02:00:22 +0000 UTCbryan is going to be the best cohost omggggg
paige rittersbacher
2024-04-19 01:15:32 +0000 UTCshannon why did you make me listen to maroon 5 🥴 great episode tho
Kayla Daly
2024-04-19 00:21:42 +0000 UTC10000% the more stressed I am=the more obsessed I become with random people from my past. It’s almost as if ruminating about people and memories from the past helps to ease my current stress, but it doesn’t help at all in the long run. The only thing that has actually helped me personally with rumination is thought interruption and mindfulness/meditation. I also love how the brain works, it’s so fascinating especially as we age!
Annie
2024-04-19 00:17:28 +0000 UTCYou're SO not alone - I am right there with you!
Shannon McNamara
2024-04-18 23:46:55 +0000 UTCThank YOU!! Happy to have you here!
Shannon McNamara
2024-04-18 23:46:29 +0000 UTCHe's HILARIOUS, the way he keeps changing the TTPD title always gets me
Shannon McNamara
2024-04-18 23:46:16 +0000 UTCSome people are just too damn entertaining to do anything other than watch!
Shannon McNamara
2024-04-18 23:46:00 +0000 UTCI wrote a blog post a while back that kind of has tips in that area! It's what I try to do to help at least: https://www.fluentlyforward.com/home4/how-to-stop-over-extending-and-focus-on-yourself
Shannon McNamara
2024-04-18 23:45:26 +0000 UTChahaha it's basically a diary entry of a song
Shannon McNamara
2024-04-18 23:44:08 +0000 UTCOh my god I’m so glad there is someone else who feels this way 😭😭😭 this whole time I thought I was a freak
Alex Cook
2024-04-18 23:20:40 +0000 UTCYour episodes always brighten my day! Love when you delve into a topic or concept that requires introspection.
Jacqueline
2024-04-18 22:54:26 +0000 UTCThis was an amazing episode!!! Also I cannot wait for Bryan to be on. He’s hilarious.
Julia Paratore
2024-04-18 22:24:53 +0000 UTCThe realest episode I’ve ever heard, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!
Annie
2024-04-18 22:16:43 +0000 UTCIngrid Goes West is a film which encapsulates influencer stalking perfectly
Bippity Boop
2024-04-18 22:09:11 +0000 UTCTheres a fellow gay man in my city whose social media i cant stop looking at. I dont have any crush on them, dont think theyre in any way charismatic or interesting... i just cant stop watching their insane level of life updating
Bippity Boop
2024-04-18 21:56:24 +0000 UTCThe lonely & neurodivergent hyper focus on a new crush is so spot on 😅 I’m curious how you’ve been able to maintain dating relationships despite it Shannon, I have no luck in this area & it doesn’t help the loneliness 🥲
Averie
2024-04-18 21:45:45 +0000 UTCTHE WAY I THOUGHT OF YOU WHEN I HEARD THAT SONG BY OLIVIA RODRIGO 😂
Problematic Bestie
2024-04-18 21:14:55 +0000 UTCI haven’t even listened yet and I already love this episode 🙂↔️
Maggielicious
2024-04-18 21:08:24 +0000 UTC
