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The OBSESSION Episode

Fellow creepy floozies, join me on this one! I've wanted to do an episode all about obsession for a while, because...I'm someone who gets easily obsessed. With new crushes, with best friends, with TV shows, with celebrities, with meals...you name it, I've obsessed over it. So this week we dive into the definition of obsession, what the root causes are of obsession, the types of people who are most likely to obsess over things, and of course - celebrities that have had their own 'entanglements' with obsession. Enjoy! Also my blog post I reference in the episode is here: https://www.fluentlyforward.com/home4/ripping-the-band-aid-off-and-stalking-your-boyfriends-ex-girlfriend 

4:30 Stalking our partners past exes 

11:15 Is hatred on the same coin as love?

17:01 The definition of obsession, and cousins of obsession (hatred, par asocial relationships and limerence)

24:24 Which types of people are most likely to fall into obsession?

26:24 Theories around obsession

35:00 Obsession and trauma 

39:35 “Animals” by Maroon 5

43:55 “You” the Netflix Series 

53:21 Kanye West and Pete Davidson obsession

1:05:45 Other obsessed celebrities

The OBSESSION Episode

Comments

I promise when I hate stalk I don’t want to have any of their traits :) lol

Taylor

Shannon omg we r literally the exact same pls what is ur birth chart

Shana cleo

Secret gospel of mark ??🤔🫣🫣

Shana cleo

I don’t know how I missed this episode! But Shannon! Let me a reformed Catholic who was in altar server come on and weave a yarn with you about how Jesus was queer.

Corinne Huntley

Omg that's crazy, I would be the same!

Erin

bahahaha, Pete’s tattoos of Kim’s kids’ names, 😌 this is one of the best podcast episodes I’ve ever heard. your content continues to be fantastic. OBSESSED WICHOOOOO 🫣

Petrichor Gold

No bc my best guy friend in middle school randomly disappeared when we were 14 and told NO ONE if he was moving and didn’t answer no one’s calls. To this day ( it’s been 7 years) I try and find them online a couple times a year

VAl A

All I could think about was baby reindeer! You have to watch

Ginny

Ngl,spraying your perfume at your ex's place is ingenius!

Pedro

wait what’s the ep that discusses Selena’s song Perfect because I’m also sooo fascinated by it!!?

Shan

also i just finished reading resilience is futile by julie s. lalonde and i think you’d really like it! it’s a memoir about her experience being stalked by an ex for a decade and the story is harrowing

Savannah Martin

I hiked up a fat hill while listening! Such a great episode 💐

Erin

my high school friends and i were also VERY toxic to each other on tumblr. whenever we’d get into a fight we’d make some long post with vicious insults about each other. one time we went to the principal with printed out pages from an ex friends tumblr 😭😭😭 we were so incredibly dramatic

Savannah Martin

is the influencer utah born?

grace

Loved this episode, hard relate lol. One of my main obsessions just moved to a village I’m also obsessed with - it’s been a fun time !!

Shannon Western

i definitely get like this about new crushes but with old flames???? too fucking scary. i can’t see that they’re potentially living a cooler more fulfilling life than me, absolutely not. i prefer stay in delululand and pretend that things got 100x worse for them because i’m petty like that

bradley

I would love if you dove more into psychology in other episodes! Loved this

Brooke

LOVED THIS also I'm so happy because in describing yourself you absolutely described me and I feel less alone 🥲

Patricia

Came here to ask the same thing! I’m desperate to listen lol.

Karolyn DeKam

Is anyone else not seeing the ttpd ep?

Natalie m

Queen I loved this episode SO much. I need to hear more like it !!

Niki

Ahh this episode!! I have definitely been the obsessive need-to-know-it-all-avoiding-my-own-stress AND had more than one stalker incidence 😅 This story still creeps me out. There was a guy in high school who was always super quiet and a bit odd. He was constantly bullied and I’d also been bullied before so always did my best to be kind but never overly friendly. Some people told me he had a crush on me but never thought much of it. Fast forward to like 12yrs later, my best friend told me he’d been stalking me during a time in high school, like following me home when I walked home after school. Apparently, he’d planned to throw me in his trunk and kidnap me, but he told one of our other friends (who’s part of this group of guys who are still like older brothers to me). He fortunately convinced him not to follow through with that and this group of my “brothers” made sure to keep a close eye on him after that. So weird finding out about it years later, still makes me a bit uncomfy eeeek!

Jenny A

The way I hold grudges like it’s my job

xknowsall

I look in peoples windows by tswift! Goes right with this episode 👀👀👀

Abby Rose

hyperfixation meals ☝🏼

Maddie Fosberg

I have sooooo much to say in response but most of it is just reflection since I RELATE. It was funny to hear you mention downplaying here and there, since I feel like I have to do that alot or I come across freaky for how much I’m paying attention or remember. It’s funny how people obsess but no one wants to admit it, sometimes not even to themselves. Oh and the obsessive thoughts on random scenarios or people are most out of control when I’m bored, when I’m stressed I’m very aware of the issue and can’t put it down even if there’s nothing I can do (the worst! and yes while this “soothes” in a sense, it will also deplete you, per my therapist lol) This got long, but there’s still so much else I can add- I’ll just leave it at great episode, you have the coolest topics and excellent deep dives into them! 💖

Annie

Also the episode made me realize that a huge thing is just the self awareness. Like me having my dream scenario person of the month when it’s for fun is not the same as the giant obsessive crushes 🤣

RJ

Also I have been looking at the difference (mostly in reflecting on the past) between the fantasy of a crush and just plain infatuation, as well as attraction vs infatuation. As a pan person sapphic feelings can be very confusing at times!!! It’s also just fine to not be in tune with your feelings all the time 🫶🏼

RJ

Also! I have been doing a lot of thinking (i don’t think I can call it research lol) about obsession, addiction, and how they are tied together. I think a lot of people who have OCPD tend to spiral into the obsessive periods more than average. And if you have an addictive mind it’s easier to cling on to every new hyperfixation. Sometimes I do think it’s just a lack of having someone to talk to about the topic, especially now when there’s sooo many things to get stuck on and not one big thing everyone is chattering about. Like growing up there were like 5 big shows at a time that people would talk about every week because they still had the weekly drop of certain day certain time that was consistent where you had to watch then or wait months for DVDs to come out. I do tend to obsess over shows that no one else seems to be watching, or are on the older side so the discussion is dead and I’m just sat like sometimes begging friends to join me so I can have an outlet lol. I do think as well that the line for online stalking is weird and has gotten progressively more and more blurred. Sometimes I go look someone up on Facebook when I randomly remember they exist and I don’t want to ask someone if they know what’s up with them because i don’t want to gossip about nothing. But I also sometimes wonder if people think I’m insta stalking them if i see their stories too fast. But sometimes I’m just numbly scrolling around and their accounts come up first 🤷🏻‍♀️ my line for vaguely being nosy and being obsessive used to be more blurred but now idk.

RJ

I would love to hear a lil deep dive episode into delusion!! I feel like that is really tied into both obsession and parasocial relationships, and it’s integral in growing the fame of celebrity. Fans have to buy into the they could date/be friends with an artist (though that marketing is generally aimed at teens) and sometimes the stories about celebs are just people projecting their own lives into what they assume the person would do.

RJ

Loved this episode! When I discovered your podcast I literally went stalking mode on you 🤣 even followed you on LinkedIn lmao but it’s all admiration truly 🤭! I’ve also heard about people with traumas are more prone to get obsessed with people and or objects, cause it’s easier to do this then actually heal.

Giuliette

So my recent ex's family adores me. So much so that when my ex and I got back in contact and he was hiding it because he didn't know how it would turn out (not well), his parents were talking about his new "friend", his dad immediately said it was me and I had sent him home with flowers for his mom and such (I do it for all of my partner's moms) and his mom wistfully said "I wish." He told me as a joke but it makes me uncomfortable to know I became *that* girl for him. We obviously aren't together and he's got a new girlfriend but sometimes I think about it. Now thankfully my fiance's family adores me and basically treats me as their child/sibling and I immediately became an auntie to his sister's kids. So yeah. Makes me wonder how many ex's girlfriends stalked me because of how much parents/families love me.

Cas Pangburn

Also lacy by Olivia Rodrigo she just gets it bc I’m obsessed with her songs about obsession and they make me want to do my social media rounds whenever I hear them

Alex N

LOL

Shannon McNamara

bryan is going to be the best cohost omggggg

paige rittersbacher

shannon why did you make me listen to maroon 5 🥴 great episode tho

Kayla Daly

10000% the more stressed I am=the more obsessed I become with random people from my past. It’s almost as if ruminating about people and memories from the past helps to ease my current stress, but it doesn’t help at all in the long run. The only thing that has actually helped me personally with rumination is thought interruption and mindfulness/meditation. I also love how the brain works, it’s so fascinating especially as we age!

Annie

You're SO not alone - I am right there with you!

Shannon McNamara

Thank YOU!! Happy to have you here!

Shannon McNamara

He's HILARIOUS, the way he keeps changing the TTPD title always gets me

Shannon McNamara

Some people are just too damn entertaining to do anything other than watch!

Shannon McNamara

I wrote a blog post a while back that kind of has tips in that area! It's what I try to do to help at least: https://www.fluentlyforward.com/home4/how-to-stop-over-extending-and-focus-on-yourself

Shannon McNamara

hahaha it's basically a diary entry of a song

Shannon McNamara

Oh my god I’m so glad there is someone else who feels this way 😭😭😭 this whole time I thought I was a freak

Alex Cook

Your episodes always brighten my day! Love when you delve into a topic or concept that requires introspection.

Jacqueline

This was an amazing episode!!! Also I cannot wait for Bryan to be on. He’s hilarious.

Julia Paratore

The realest episode I’ve ever heard, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!

Annie

Ingrid Goes West is a film which encapsulates influencer stalking perfectly

Bippity Boop

Theres a fellow gay man in my city whose social media i cant stop looking at. I dont have any crush on them, dont think theyre in any way charismatic or interesting... i just cant stop watching their insane level of life updating

Bippity Boop

The lonely & neurodivergent hyper focus on a new crush is so spot on 😅 I’m curious how you’ve been able to maintain dating relationships despite it Shannon, I have no luck in this area & it doesn’t help the loneliness 🥲

Averie

THE WAY I THOUGHT OF YOU WHEN I HEARD THAT SONG BY OLIVIA RODRIGO 😂

Problematic Bestie

I haven’t even listened yet and I already love this episode 🙂‍↔️

Maggielicious


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