I'm Struggling to create (I Will continue. Here's the changes)

Heya! I want to thank you all for your amazing support throughout the years. It has helped us create amazing videos, and truly, a ton of them would've never come to life if it hadn't been for you all - Especially the videos which required a lot more funding. (Like the animation videos). You've all helped make content which showcases the fandom to others, and I constantly hear people telling me I've made them a furry. Well. You've all made them furries as well. Good job team😎✨

On a more serious note though, thank you. The amount of things I've learnt through the work I've been able to do thanks to all of you, is insane, and I've grown a lot as a person. The fandom in general has been a blessing, and again, I really appreciate everything. 

I'm writing this post, as I want to update all you patreons, and anyone considering supporting me, on what's going on with me. 

So lets go.

I'm struggling to create. I don't manage to make myself do anything. Editing tasks which would've taken 2 weeks before, is taking me up to a month or more. Sitting down and focusing on it for more than 20 minutes is near impossible. There's an intense anxiety behind everything happening. .

The reason for my anxiety boils down to this: I don't want my channel to grow anymore. Having 145k+ eyes is already way more than I am personally able to handle. Having more sounds terrifying.

I'd like to participate in the fandom as a member, not create content for it and be someone people look up to- I'd just like to be me. and be a fluffy cute little creature, with close friends I can talk and hang out with. I'm sure plenty of you can relate. 

And the thing with youtube, is in order to make content that people watches- You're not being yourself. You create a character, you create comedy, and you make sure everything is cut in a way that's entertaining and fun. You make sure you're relatable, and exciting, even though you cry after every line you try to force out of yourself into the microphone. (It's not always that bad, but sometimes, it's been. point is, I'm not really myself when I make content. I'm forcing a character, and I don't really wanna do that anymore. Twitch is a way better place to do what I wanna do, and be myself while doing it)

The plan moving forward

I'm focusing a whole lot more on streaming. It's something I enjoy, it's something I find fun, and I find it very enjoyable to say hi to people now. We do weekly meetups on our discord server now, and I hope we're able create a sweet little community that people can come into and make new friends in, without too high of a barrier of entry. 

I think I enjoy it because it's so much more visible that what's happening is actually contributing to something good. And personally, it's something that gives me energy instead of draining it out of me. Talking with chat and people in vr for 3 hours feels a lot better than sitting in a silent deafening void and crunching out editing tasks. Getting to see people and say hi at the meets is a whole lot of fun.

VIDEOS moving forward:

There's 2 main videos I have left before I'm planning on fully focusing on Twitch. One of them is soon to be out and you can see Behind The Scenes of it on the patreon section of our discord server. 

The other, I'm not quite sure of. It might be 3. I really wanna make a video about Nuclear Reactors. And I really wanna make another video on "Why be a furry". I've already gotten one interview down for it, and I wanted to do 4, make it really exciting and all that, but I might just cut the one interview we have, and release it. It's cozy and warm, and it brings the good vibes, though it won't be something that reaches hundreds and thousands of views. 

So All in all- 

TL;DR:

- My Focus is switching over to twitch.

- There's about two videos left I wanna make before the switch is fully happening. There might be more videos after that, but that'll likely be stream highlights and similar.

Letting you all know as the next month rolls around soon. I still need funding for the upcoming videos, but I fully understand if anyone would like to retract their support, if the twitch thing isn't really a vibe. Thank you for the ride, and hope you have a wonderful time, and thank you for reading <3