CarissaExplainsNothing

Camp and all the things missed

Added 2023-07-10 16:35:13 +0000 UTC

I dropped my kiddo off at camp yesterday and walking around checking the place out I felt so happy for her and also sad for me that I never got to experience a non church camp or really any similar activities outside of church as a kid (since I was homeschooled I didn’t have any school activities and wasn’t a part of any clubs or groups in the community).

Those of us raised in this very heavily controlled way often talk about the things that we missed. Well meaning folks will then jump in to these conversations and say things like “you can still experience those things now!” Or much worse, “eh, you didn’t miss anything.” But we did miss things and we know it. We know that some things just cannot be reclaimed or experienced in the same way now, like a kid going to camp to have a week of fun instead of a week of spiritual manipulation.

It’s okay to grieve the things we lost due to high control religion. And also… it’s okay to let other people grieve because of what they lost due to high control religion. Pretending those losses didn’t happen or they can easily be fixed doesn’t actually help at all.

When we allow ourselves to walk through the grieving process in a healthy way instead of slapping a bandaid over it, we also come to a place of healing and peace. It’s such a gift to have others (mostly online in my case) who are always going through the grieving and healing process so we can support each other.

❤️❤️❤️