TheSystematicSlut

K!nky Q&A: A Guide to Solo Wax Play

Added 2021-12-19 18:19:43 +0000 UTC

Some of you may recall I have shared on my Instagram about "Daddy". This person has been a super important part of my journey into k!nk and liberation of self and access to pleasure. We are not together - nor have we ever been in a committed, romantic relationship sense of the term. We are both poly, not looking for a relationship, and were curious to explore together (along with general hangouts and adventures). Play partner, perhaps? Though that feels dismissive of the friendship we have developed. FWEEB more accurate (Friend with Emotional and Erotic Benefits).

ANYWAY, we first met back in February and I mentioned that I had been really interested in trying wax play after that experience I had with the blow dryer at the hair salon (Click here if you haven't read it yet . . . trust me, it's worth it **drools**). He said yes (after a good laugh about that meme where someone comments about pouring an uns*xy amount of wax on the other person - have you seen it?). But, I can be an impatient little kitten and unfortunately his schedule just was not matching up with my desire to want to explore.

What I am super duper grateful for, though, is that he suggested I try by myself (that's actually what he suggested when we first discussed playing with dips too, and he even gave me the product to try out on my own, to see how I felt, in a safe way for me - how amazing is that?!?).

So, I got cozy and grabbed my candles (I have these ones - they're good for spell work and wax play and I find they are a great size for a solo session as well, especially when combining with other sensations). Some other things I did to prepare:

I asked friends for guidance (people who had been in the scene longer than me, and had experience, and could advise on safe practices.
I googled (before finding candles and after, just to see what I might need to know)
I explored forums on FetLife (FL as a whole is a pretty disgusting platform, but it can have some good information if you have a discerning eye. Approach it with a bit of a "trust no one" mentality or let your friendly neighbourhood kitten - Me, that's me! - know what you wanna learn about and I can put it in the queue for a post!).

Here are some quick tips for solo wax play (in no particular order but numbered for your convenience):

1. Start by holding the candle farther away (this is a safe way to gauge your pain/pleasure threshold)

2. If you have body hair in the area you are playing (especially if you have like a lotta body hair in that area) use coconut oil first in the region to help make sure the wax doesn't stick too much.

3. Have a towel under you so you don't ruin your bed (or a change pad! I use this one).

4. If you have hardwood floors (or just like, not carpet) the easiest clean-up can be to stand up, scrape it all down to the floor, and then sweep. Be careful though if you are playing in hard to reach places - I recommend a shower following to make sure you get all the wax gone.

5. If you have a carpet, have another towel on the floor to stand up onto after, scrape it all down, then collect into the garbage or for reuse if you are recycling your wax (only do this if you used it on yourself and will use it only on yourself again - you can get a melting pot to use versus having a lit candle).

6. If you can't see fully where you're playing, pause and take photos to see how your skin is reacting. If you're like me and have a high pain/pleasure threshold for this type of play but sensitive skin, it is a fine line to be walked (or tripped over).

7. Which brings me to my next point: Burn cream. Have some on-hand, or even a cool cloth or something. I like the cream I buy from my waxing studio, which is also what I use for sunburns!

8. Different colours apparently can have different temperatures. I haven't noticed a drastic difference, and also something to keep in mind especially for humxns who menstruate is your pain tolerance will fluctuate with your hormones. Some days are just not the days, and that is okay!

9. Mix mediums! You might want to stick to just wax for the day, which is totally amazing! You also might be curious to combine with other things . . . for me, this could even mean playing with wax while wearing a super cozy dip. Just because things aren't commonly depicted as being explored within a k!nk or fetish, does not mean you are wrong for trying them (as long as you're safe and there is consent).

10. Try different areas of your body: Granted, some will be harder to reach playing solo but of the ones you can, try 'em out! My favourite so far is my ribs.